When one of the parents is toxic and unhealthy for the child, yes, the child should have to prevail without both parents. The other posters were telling us that they can even thrive and flourish without both parents. IMO.

I absolutely agree...

Its better to have a wonderful mother OR father then have both and one who makes life miserable... Im a single mom and I guarantee my kids woulda been alot worse off if their "dad" had stuck around!!!

Thank you for agreeing.

Single mom here too.

No, even when one (or both) of the parents is a danger to the child, said child should not HAVE to o without the other parent. Yes they are betetr fof being away fromt hat arent, but it doesnt mean they should {b}have to.
What I am trying to say is, sometimes a child is better off away form one parent or the other, yes. But it doesnt make it "right" for the child to go through life with one parent. Yes they can do it, and still flourish, but they should have both parents when at all possible.

Daniel,

I truly don't understand what you are trying to say here.

"No, even when one (or both) of the parents is a danger to the child, said child should not HAVE to o without the other parent. Yes they are betetr fof being away fromt hat arent, but it doesnt mean they should {b}have to."

It doesn't make sense to me - When a parent is a danger to the child, yes, they are better being away from that, but it doesn't mean they should have to.

Why doesn't it?

I say children dont need both parents ... but it all depends sum kids will resent that their parents are not together others wil think nothig of it ..... if they know both but hardly see one they may crave the time of the one they hardly see or not want to see them at all

My daughter is only 5 months but she has only seen her father once ... she ahs no clue who he is ... and its his decision he's the one who moved out west to make money so he can pay me meaning he will hardlt even see his daughter meaning he'll be a stranger to her whenever he comes by ...but all she needs is me ....and all i need is my mother

What I am trying to say, is if one parent (or bnoth) are bad, the child should have them replaced. The child should not have to go with just one parent, becuae the ohter parent is a vuck up.
By all means I agree, remove a bad parent (I did in my ex-wifes case; or rather the courts did). However, the child should still have two parental figures in their life, even if one of them isnt the biological one.

And how is your daughter going to learn what kind of man is a decent man? Howis she going to learn to be able to trust in a man as she gets older? How is she going to learn what tyo ook for in a man when she gets old enough to be looking for a parnter in life?
Forgive me for saying this, but it is a well thought out belief, that children with only one parent are high risk for having bad relationships when they get older, as they did not grow up seeing what a good relation ship involves. EVERY CHILD needs to see hteir mother protected and cared for. EVERY CHILD needs to see their mother waiting for their father to come home from work, happy and excited to see him (or vice verse if the mother works). Basically ALL CHILDREN need to see two adults interacting as a loving and respon sible couple while they grow up so that they knowhow to do so when they get older.

I agree w/Sammie, while it would be beneficial if both parents were there for the child, it is not a necessity.

I'd rather have one healthy and responsible parent than 2 people who could careless who cannot provide the guidance and love children need.

Those in 2 parent households (thats great) those in single parent households (thats great as well). So long as there is guidance and love who cares.

And how does one replace the missing parent? Does one go and find a Dad for hire?

Now your just being sarcastic. I am not saying it is somethign that cn easily be done. I am not saying one parent is not capable of raising a child by themself. I am saying the child should not have to go through life with one parent unless absolutely neccesarry. This, I believe, is one of the reasons that the big brother/sister program was enacted, to provide another mature and responsible aduilt in the childs life, as a mentor.

Sorry, but it was too easy to be sarcastic with this:

"I am trying to say, is if one parent (or bnoth) are bad, the child should have them replaced. The child should not have to go with just one parent, becuae the ohter parent is a vuck up."

You make it sound like it's soooo easy. First, the child has a toxic father and/or one that doesn't see the child. Then the woman is to find a new Dad replacement?! That is a terrible reason to marry a man - to be a father replacement!!

That parent does not have to be replaced. The child can flourish in a one parent household.

Btw, the Big Brother program will provide a young boy with a male role model but the Big Sister program will NOT provide a young girl with a male role model.

Ooops.

Real world, Daniel: That is the ideal situation. But..it is not always an option. Women may be single parents for several reasons including the death of a spouse.

I never said go out and get remarried. I said the child needs a parental role model. You could very easily provide that in any number of ways. Just as an example (and not suggesting this is for you), my brother and sister live together inorder for their children to have responsible parental role models form both sides.
And yes, I know the big brother/siste rprogram will not mix genders. I wish they would as it would provdie some much needed rolemodels for all the kids involved.

As for the rest of it, I never once said it was or would be easy. I am a single parent, just like yourself. My ex lost all custodial rights at the divorce, and is in the process of losing her visitation because she is so much of a screw up. I do not have a good female role model for my children right now, other than their aunt and my mother, both of whom they dont see daily, and very soon willbe seeing less than five times a year, as the children and I are moving to New York, and my sister and mother are in michigan..
however, once I ge tto New York, I will probably be putting out a request for a female roomate (specifically a female) who would be willing to provide that repsonsible and mature role model for my children. And dont you dare go the route other people have and suggets my motivations behind such a roomate are anything other than looking for the best interest of my children.

I agree that it is not easy being a parent, let alone a single parent. However, for the sake of the child, we single parents should do everyhting in our power to provide them with a positive mature role from both genders on a daily basis, just as if they were living with both parents ina nice and perfect world. Does this happen? very rarely. But it should be happening more and more often.

i agree that would be the ideal world, and that there may well be several reasons for a parent to be a single parent. I would not try and say otherwise. However, more nad more people are going out and stating that a child does not NEED to have that other rolemodel in their life, and my point is that they DO need it , even if the other parent is not available.

because the operative word is NEED in this forum/and your reply. A child does not NEED, a child may want, a child may yearn (doubt its the child but the parent) but what a child NEEDS is love, understanding, nurturing and guidance. (JMO)

you said it exactly fran. A child needs guidance (along with everything else you stated). A child needs the guidence of seeing social interactions between tweo people, male and female both, inorder to grow up understanding how to interact with their peers. You can be the best parent and teacher and mentor inthe world, but if a child does not see with their own two eyes, a woman being treated with respect (as an example), then they are far less likely to live that way when they reach adulthood.
So yes, a child NEEDS to have both roels in his/her life. Wether or not htey get it, well we do what we can.

I stand firm - A child does not NEED.