Girls need their daddies just as badly as boys do. Girls need to grow up seeing their mamma's respected,loved and treated properly.
As far as for both boys AND girls, if they grow up without one of hteir parents, they are more likely to try and be a single parent themself (more so with single mamma's, yes), or expect the other parent to be a single parent.

Kids need both parents but very often one ends up being a bonehead so the parent with a sense of responsibility takes over.Hopefully it's enough to make up for the other parents absence

thanks for the responses, but to answer your question no he can't be a good dad. I've always wanted him to be, I've given him chances to be. I've brought our son to his house and he doesn't know how to be a dad. He doesn't know how to play with him, he freaked out and started crying the first time he had to bath him, he never pays for anything, not even gifts for birthdays and christmas. And the last time I brought our son to see him he wouldn't even answer the door he yelled he was too busy to see Caleb through the door. So its not that me and him just don't get along, we don't but thats not why he's not there for Caleb. But thanks for the advice, I have accepted his daddy will never be a good dad, I just pray he will be okay without a daddy.

Oh he expresses it alright. He's gotten on the phone with his dad and yells at him "I dont wanna talk to you" and then hangs up. His dad doesn't put a limit on visitation, he doesn't visit, he's never home for Caleb to go to his house, he only calls him now and then. He never helps financially, never buys gifts for birthdays, he doesn't even call him on his birthdays. He just calls once in a blue moon to say hi and by then Caleb's mad at him and doesn't wanna talk to him.

I would like to say that this doesn't mean they don't need a father figure, especially if its a boy.

I think I delayed my divorce so long with that thought. When a parent becomes an addict they become self serving and not parental. It was devestaing to us all. Now I have to protect my children from his cruelty. My oldest son does not see him, he's an adult and can decide. My middle son tries, but ends up being hurt, my daughter he can not see. She is non verbal and he has taken her life saving medicine. Sad! Never thought he'd turn into someone who would take his own child's medicine. Fortunately my boys were older and my daughter protected to a degree due to disabilities.

As parents we must protect our children. The law enforces that, as it is in his case..simple get off drugs act stable and parental, we are not holding out hope anymore. I'm grateful to good male role models and for the time their dad was just that.

Girls need their daddies just as badly as boys do. Girls need to grow up seeing their mamma's respected,loved and treated properly.



So true and where I feel I may have failed. I put up with a lot trying to keep a two parent home, but it was a mistake. A costly mistake and I'm not talking money. I think it's equally important for boys seeing both prents respecting eachother. When the dad calls the mommy names and bullies it may have lasting repercussions. I'm praying not!

absolutely correct!!!

i have raised 3 children without their fathers...their fathers were allowed to participate if they chose but when they typically didn't well that worked just fine with us as well!

i never NEVER let my kids think that there was any abandonment issue...we chose our lifestyle...I chose our lifestyle, they could go to their fathers whenever they wished..i was lucky in that they all each had very cool fathers...lol

so mostly they left us alone.
i never took child support so there was never the rent of the kids arguement which i think is also very unhealthy...kids are not for barter.... sheesh!! as for what may or may have not been their paternal entitlement,

well i made up for it and plus some times 50...but even if i hadn't all that really matters is that they see their parents healthy , making healthy conscious choices and decisions , because that is what they will emulate ...


be a GREAT and happy example of the inspiration and ideals you want to embody and you will most likely have great kids!

a male role model would be more accurate for me.... father figure smacks of whips and confessions...lmao

Every child deserves and should have two positive parenting roles in their life.

Why is he so negative to a 4 year old? That I dont get, most men I know regardless of how they feel of the Mother is nurturing to a child. Now, does that make him a Good Father? Not necessarily. Take a deep look into why he is acting this way toward your son and see if you can help in that matter. For your childs benefit...Your son deserves everything, and that way at least you can say you tried everything you could. I suggest trying to have a talk with the father and look into family counseling as well, even though you are not a couple...You are still a family

If his Uncle, or possibly a future partner for you can come in and play a positive role for him, not necessarily as "the" Father, but a positive male role for him.....THat is trememdous support for future upbringing...

If you've already tried to get his father to be a part of his life and have been unsuccessful, I wouldn't try anymore, especially if his father would end up being a negative influence. You lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, as the saying goes.

But if your son has a day where he wants to see his Dad, you could tell him that you will try to make that happen but you can't promise anything. At least you are letting your son know that you would never prevent him from seeing or contacting his Dad.

As for his behavior, he may be acting out because he is mad at his Dad, and if that is the case, just explain to him that its okay to be mad, but not to act out about it.

But he could also be acting out because he is trying to show his independence. The older they get, the more independent and more grown up they want to be. At 4 years old, he smart enough to figure out which buttons to push to get his way. But it's up to you to let him know what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

Good Luck

to consider.... find constructive outlets for his frustrations and marshall arts are a great way to assist body balance and personal harmony...if you can find a dojo or thru the YMCA or i don't know , they are usually pretty flexible in supporting families..... it's important to put some energy into the right teacher and chemistry of the class so visit a few ...does this seem extravagant? i hope not because it can be a great dicipline and richly rewarding
and "dicipline is the basis to all freedom"

It would be ideal to have both parents. I believe that children learn different things from both. I am a single parent of a 3 1/2 yr. old boy and a 5 yr. old girl. I do feel bad about them not getting the nurturing side that a mother gives them.

I feel that I am a good father, but know that there are things they do not get from me. I think that is my biggest problem with easing back into dating after my 17 months of being a single parent. I am not only looking for someone for myself, but for them also. I really feel bad that they are going through a big developmental part of their childhood without a mother figure.

No, kids do not need both parents. My kids seem to act better and have a better attitude when their father is not around.

I feel that both parents are important in a child's life, but not necessary!! I've raised my son on my own(NOT EASY) but who said it was going to be easy. We have to be thankful for what we have VS complain for what we want...

Good luck!!

no they dont.. my son dad and i split up when he was 1yrs old or a little before that and he wasent even there much any how and he didnt see him untill he was 2yrs old... he wasent much of a father figure for him any how.... he came down and saw him in jan, when i harrased him when we thought my son wasent going to make it, we almost him he was very sick, and that was the first time that he had seen him in 19yrs.. we didnt tell my son that his dad was there for we didnt know how or what would happen, and we didnt want any more disappointments from him....

and my daughter dad lives here in town and he wasent much of a father either.. he gave her away when she got married(big deal) but she ask him to.

both of my kids dads were and are worthless.

so i can say i actually raised my kids with out there dad. but my mom was my main supportor on helping me raise them

you have to be his mom and his best friend always!!!! kids have instincts and they are intuitive, so a lot off love is required!!! the dad thing will work itself out!!!

you have to be his mom and his best friend always!!!! kids have instincts and they are intuitive, so a lot off love is required!!! the dad thing will work itself out!!!

im a single mom and dont have my son's dad in his life
hes doing just fine without his dad too

the question wasnt wetehr or not a child can prevai without both parents, it was wether or not a child should have to prevail without both parents.