To answer your question.....yes I do think kids need both parents influence in their lives.

My ex walked out on us in a mid-life crisis and has really never looked back. I would have done anything to keep him around and practically begged for him to find some way to stay. I know now this was not the right thing to do and am glad that he left, although it means my kids lose out big time. Maybe some day he'll get his head out of his butt and realize what he's doing to his children by running out on them, but for now.....I will continue to be the stable parent and find ways for them to be around the men in our family who do take the time to give that manly influence, such as their grandpa. I cannot be a substitute for a man, as much as I might try to do things for them that I think a dad would have done.

I agree that as hard as it is.......try to be calm and non-threatening when you talk about the dad. If he wises up it will help to get something good back. And if that does happen, be forewarned, it's gonna hurt like H*LL. Life's just not fair sometimes. But "this too shall pass".
Hugs, Heather

i dont think they need both...but it depends on the mental state...for ex. in my case i have 5 yr old twin boys....their dad lets them watch horror movies to the point that when they come home after the weekend they are scared to sleep in their bed and want to know where i am literally every 2 mins.. i have talked to him til im blue in the face and he keeps on...the last time i looked at him and said i thought we talked about this hes reply was...well i just do it to show you i can......WTH.. soo hes doin things to get to me weve been divorced for 2 yrs. but its hurting the boys. and he doesnt care so..he dont see the boys and they are getting better mentally and psyically oh but i have complete sole and physical custody with him having every other weekend but..seeing how i have complete...whether he likes it or not what i say goes if he hurts me...then fine but better leave the boys out of it and stop hurting them! this is just a pinch of what ive been thru with these twins and their dad!

I stand up and give u a round of applause!!!

I think kids benefit from love and guidance. It can come from one parent, both parents or family and friends. Where it comes from is neither here nor there with me so long as its given

well thank you VERY much...you have to be strong minded and no matter what...its your kids that matter!

one of the most important things you can tell your kids when they're growing up is..." wait til' your father gets home !! "...

not sure if I missed something, but the most important thing you can ever tell your children is I love you, not wait til "suchandsuch" comes home

Ihate to tell you htis, but if he has them every other weekend, meaning he has them from say friday night through sunday afternoon/evening, then you do not have sole physical custody. You may have primary physical yes, but not sole. if you had sole physical custody, his visitaiton would not allow for overnight visits.

i would check into this, and make sure you know completely where everything stands.

i would have to agree though that he needs to grow up (my wording) and quit bringing the boys into the issue. And if he cant do so, then you need to go back into court and get those orders amended so he DOESNT have them on weekends etc, for their own sake.

But all that aside, back to the topic of the thread, yes kids NEED both parents. Does this mean they get that need met? of course not. but htey still need the influence of both. If their father doe snot meet this need, then they need someone else to fill that need for them, although this does not mean you have to have a relationship with that other person.

daniel hun...i promise you ..i do know how to read and unless you have SEEN my divorce papers you can not tell me i do not have sole legal and sole physcial custody thats a quote unquote from my divorce papers

"The court awards custody of the the children of the parties as follows: sole legal and sole physical custody is hereby awarded to the mother, Leann Michele Scott, with the father, James D. Scott having every other weekend visitation with the said minor children of the parties" so ordered and decreed this 29th day of June, 2006.

so there.! dont tell me what i do and do not know...im the one with the papers...and thank you...i have had a different lawyer since...and everything is correct. :)

They don't NEED both parents. They don't need some else to fill that need for them either.

Hmmm...Obama comes to mind.

oh and as far as taking him to court to make sure he DOESNT get them for overnight...i dont have to..and they do not go, if he dont like it then he can take me to court, but, i know he wont because HIS then 15 yr old son molested one the then 4 yr old twins while in his care and got away with it, because neither state of ga or tn wanted to claim jurisdiction over the matter since it happened in Tn and all the boys live in GA... i dont think he really wants to argue with me to much, thats where the other lawyer comes in...with the whether he likes it or not what i say goes..since i DO HAVE SOLE LEGAL AND SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY. like i said earlier all that other stuff was just a pinch of what ive been through!

children need responsible and reliable role models...they need mentally healthy people in their lives, the more the better. if either parent doesn't fit that definition, and if knowing them causes more harm than good...then that person doesn't need to be around said child.

yes kids NEED both parents...they still need the influence from both...

WRONG WRONG AND DID I MENTION WRONG????

Every situation is different...My children have NO contact with their father..NONE ZERO ZILCH...they do NOT need his influence in their lives AT ALL EVER...he is a lowlife, wife beating, drug dealing ex con who isnt fit to raise a dog let alone parent MY children...

Are my kids harmed from this???NOPE...they are extremely well adjusted wonderful kids...my oldest daughter heads off to medical school fall of next year.. I take credit for raising her ..he had no part in it THANK GOD...

No one can say that both parents need to be involved unless details are devuldged...if the man is a good dad then thats different but there are more cases then not the the father is a super loser...

My son is 4 as well. He acts out. He sees his dad a lot, though for a 4-year-old "alot" is relative. Your son may have issues with his dad in the future, but that's because of what his dad did, not what you did. Be there for him as his mommy; you can't do anything better than that.

My kids have both parents, even though we aren't together. They are doing fine. I didn't have both parents. Just my mom. She was and is amazing. I did just fine.

If a child has someone to love them, that's all they need in the world.

let me rephrase myself, seeing as I obviously failed to do so appropriately last tiem.

No kids do not NEED both BIOLOGICAL parents.
however they ABSOLUTELY ONE HUNDRED THUOSAND PERCENT DO need to have an appropriate mother figure, and YES and appropriate father figure in their lives. And no I do not mean rolemodels. They need those yes, but a role model should be someone outside of ht ehousehold.

A child needs to see a man and a woman interacting with each other (appropriately folks) in a loving and respectful manner inside[.b] their home on a daily basis, or as close to it as possible. Boys need to grow up seeing the woman respected, treated properly (not abused, bullied, cheated, etc), so that they grow up treating women the same way. Girls need to grow up seeing the lady of hte house treat the man the same way. both kids need to grow up LEARNING how to behave in a relationship appropriately, and how to communicate with each other.

i am sorry, but the biggest problem our children have in this day an age, is that they did not get to see al lthis while growing up. Instead they saw mothers trying to make do on their own (not saying any of you failed), without the father taking responsibility. They saw arguments, and behavior that makes us all shudder to hink of between both the lady and the man of hte house. Thus they grew up, learning that boys do not have to respect girls; that girls do nbot have to respect boys; That nither has to do anything they dont want to (within reason; compromising is what I am getting at), that one or the both should be able to expect things to be done or go the way they want no matter what.

Children today grow up, not learning how to talk to one another in any way other than arguing, or demanding or else they grow up not seeing any interaction at all, or communication at all. Thus, they do not learn by example.

yes soem children grow up well and balanced despite this, but imagine how much [b[more well and balanced they would be if they had had the proper influence of both genders in the home.

So in the end, let me recap, that no children do not need both biological parents in the home, or even to have contact. HOWEVER, they absolutely do need to have appropriate male and female parental figures in the home while growing up, in order to have the best chance to learn what they need to learn in order to grow up to be a responsible adult and raise children who are responsible.

Daniel,

I respectfully disagree 110%.

I have to disagree....can I ask how many children do you have?

And if appropriate role models can't be found?

I have read this whole thread and there are alot of people that are really out spoken about thier opinions about this topic......
My Mother ended up raising myself and my sister's and brother by herself and I, myself raised my children on my own. They are adults now......

I have asked my children what they think about the way I raised them and most of their opinions are good.....I did the best I could with what I had. They are happy, healthy and have strong self esteem. This was all my doing not their Father's. So I believe that it depends on how a child is raised not who raised them and who didn't.

Raising children is a tough thing to do and I give praise where praise is due.

to the single parents out there struggling to make sure their children grow up to be productive Adults!