Besides lose my job or clients and really freak out anyone that is dependent upon me as I seemingly disappear for 15 days?


It kinda depends.
I mean there's a huge difference between masked terrorists breaking into my house to kidnap me and chain me in a tiny room and I have no idea that I'm being released in 2 weeks vs. entering some contest like "last 15 days isolated in a luxurious cabin without any human contact for 15 days and you win 1 million dollars!" and going on a 2 week vacation to some tropical island paradise spa resort.

According to this hypothetical what am I allowed to do?

Can't determine if you're asking "could you handle the isolation cell in prison" or "do you have any hobbies outside of the internet or chatting with people on the phone?"


Then how do I learn? And what about joyful tears?


Then why buy car insurance.


This seems like something a heroin addict would say.

Lure them into my basement.
Beat them unconscious with jumper cables.
Shave their bodies and leave them in the woods with a note that will convince them they were abducted by aliens.

Same as every year.
I only really change plans for the Johnson's.
They stopped falling for that after the 4th time.


Ohhhhhh...now I get it...was wondering how you knew my neighbors.
I'll probably spend time on the internet pursuing various forms of moronery as a distraction while digesting something.

Love isn't blind.
Love is a naturally occurring organic process.
The only thing you can do is interfere with that process.

People blind love, people put blinders on themselves, and then look to blame others for doing so as to remove responsibility, culpability, the risk of judgment.

Saying "love is blind" is like saying a perfectly working Tesla on autopilot is blind after you jerked the wheel and slammed it into a tree.


People don't "fall in love."

Because of the natural organic process of attraction, lust, and love, your body and brain work to turn off your ability to think logically and rationally in order to facilitate your bonding leading to procreation.
Thanks to religion, people seem to have this innate belief that the body and brain were created to support the personality, rather than the personality exists to support the brain and body.

We don't "fall in love," we keep ourselves from thinking critically and honestly observing what's actually going on. Catch-22 is the more you think critically and honestly observe yourself in the process, the more you interfere with it, as you start distancing yourself.

But people wanting to think "good" of themselves, to think of themselves as "good" people (and therefore upholding group rules), have to rationalize it.

It's not "I'm choosing to wallow and pursue self interest, being overwhelmed with pleasurable sensations like a junkie, and want to feel good," it's "I'm falling in love."

Takes away responsibility. "This is happening to me," as opposed to, "this is happening because of, a direct consequence of, my choices."

Why can't both be accommodated?

Based on where I live, pretty much neither one are a realistic (or at least convenient) option.

So I have to approach the question as purely hypothetical.

Hypothetically, I could go on a date in Hawaii, or California, or Florida, or southern Texas, or the Bahamas.

A lot of places have fancy restaurants on or overlooking a beach.

Not to mention, I like finding people with whom I'd like to date more than once.
Plus, I can go on other dates with other people if one date doesn't work out.

So one date we can go to a fancy restaurant.

Another date, we can go to the beach.


Not to mention other factors.
Like it's winter here. I would prefer to go to a fancy restaurant, when it gets below freezing, than the beach.
In the middle of summer, on a Saturday afternoon, I'd rather pick up and randomly go to the beach and go boating or swimming or something than I would try to deal with reservations and have to wear a suit.

Another factor would be the type of person I'm on the date with.
I would rather go to a fancy restaurant if I knew they enjoyed fancy restaurants too, as opposed to going on a date with someone to a fancy restaurant while they're sitting there the whole time wishing they'd gone to the beach, or vice versa.

They aren't mutually exclusive choices.

French kiss on a date with a hottie?
Kiss is better than better.

Grandma with digestive issues that constantly eats onions?
Hug is better than better.

Some random kid in the park that runs up to me?
Neither.

Showing up for a date and realizing I've been catfished and they keep trying to be more sexual and inappropriate to get me to like them and overlook how completely different they look and they lied about their hygiene?
Neither.

Depends on the situation.
I get offended by "merry christmas" when it's followed by "hey, can I have a dollar, quarter, ride, gas (in the form of money), interest you in MLM business with no risk?!"

When it's used as an opening as a means to get something from me, I get offended.

Mostly, I never hear anyone say "merry christmas" or "happy holidays" or "seasons greetings" or whatever from anyone other than family or retail workers.
Retail workers it's mostly amusing. Sometimes I'll get something like "merry happy hanukwanzamas dude!"

If someone says "merry christmas" to me I respond "merry christmas" to them.
Anything else it's usually "hey, you too!"


"Prefer?" No. I don't care. It's the intent.
Are they spreading their joy or seasons feelings? Great. It doesn't matter.
Or is it like "happy holidays, welcome to burger king, want to try a fake whopper today?" I don't really respond to it as it's just part of a scripted response.
Or is it like "happy flying spaghetti monster we really live in a matrix holidays!" then I know they're just being an azz and they don't mean it and it doesn't matter.


No. Again it depends on the intent.
Is it my arthritic grandma writing it in a card?
Like "Thinking of you, here's 5 bucks for the holidays! Luv you! Merry xmas G-ma"
Or is it on a mass produced christmas card like dentists or doctors, like: "Merry Xmas, thank you for being a patient. Don't forget your annual checkup and flu shot!"


No differently than I do any other time.


Depends on how long I've procrastinated until sending out Christmas cards, the number I have to send out, how much I have to write in the card, and my relationship to them.

Realize the internet offers nothing more than cheap products, cheap entertainment, and there's nothing positive to be gained in any form of social media.



I mean:
"Dont be afraid to start all over again...this time round you will be guided by..."

How does that help anyone?

Let's say I have a 4 year old and one night I hear them crying and screaming.
So I open the door and say "hey! What's wrong?"
And they say "I'm afraid of the dark!"
And, after thinking about what I read on the internet, I say "Don't be afraid of the dark, did the dark do anything to you last night? No, you're still here, let that guide you this night around..."

Do you honestly think that kid is going to say to themselves "m'okay, I'll just turn that fear and anxiety and all the conversations and insecurities in my head off. Thanks!"
Because I read a specious aphorism on the internet I can simply solve anything?


Not to mention "Dont be afraid to start all over again, because unlike before, this time round you will be guided by the exprience on how best to handle or address where that thing trying to hold it back"
isn't always true.

I've known lots of people in midlife crisis + that left six figure jobs.
They'd spout things like "I'm unhappy! I need to live my best life! Pursue my happiness! I shouldn't be afraid to start over! I'm still young!" And next thing you know they've drained their 401k's, no one will hire them because of their age or lack of experience in the area they wanted to pursue and then they're just kicking themselves "why the hell did I do that?!" while they're living at home "taking care of their parents."


Sometimes people should be afraid to try and start over.
Sometimes no matter how positive you are, practical, pragmatic reality doesn't bend to how you think it should or will go.



Also, it can become very complicated.

I mean there are people with mental/emotional issues that play games with their own heads.
Someone/thing at work/school/home will cause conflict. Their first instinct is to run away from conflict, avoid it.
Then it becomes this great crusade where (in this instance) they'll focus on their "fear of starting over" as opposed to the conflict, or whatever is motivating them to look for change.

Then they'll read "don't be afraid to start over" on the internet so they'll quit their job, drop out of school, ditch their family, whatever.

All in an effort to avoid looking at the real problems that are motivating themselves and their behavior.

Instead of "oh, I'm avoiding conflict because I have mental/emotional problems and this is a symptom that should be addressed," it becomes, "oh, I'm brave and great because I overcame my fear of starting over, so I left all that behind and am starting something new! All I need to do is get over my fear of starting over, something new. Not look at what has lead me to wanting/needing/thinking I need to start over."

And then the cycle just repeats. When that "something new" leads to conflict, or unhappiness, or whatever, they just ditch it in order to stroke their own ego at how brave they are at overcoming their "fear of starting something new."

And it just leads to deeper problems.


And a lot of people don't realize what those people do to themselves and others throughout those 98 times they've left destruction and pain in their wake because they didn't stop to think, they just kept flinging crap around them trying to find something that stuck and caused them pleasure.

Biologically in the pair bonded/mating (romantic) sense?
No.
Multiple partners interfere with a specific process which influences deep association.

Any other meaning you want?
Sure.
As all other meanings are subjective to culture, group norms, social training and can be whatever you rationalize them to mean.
All kinds of different types and levels of social bonding.
Lots of people don't really understand them or themselves so just lump it all into "love."


I don't know.
Check your local laws and possibly tell/ask the multiple loved people?

I'm not sure it matters so much if you "love more than one person equally" so much as what it means in regards to behavior.

You don't really get any brownie points, you're not entitled to anything, or special considerations for "loving" multiple people "equally."
i.e. it's not a justification or defense for anything.


When everyone has a different meaning to a word, the word becomes meaningless.

When I read things like "to everyone of us love has a different meaning" it sends shivers down my spine as I'm reminded of people that stalk and rape/kill/harass people, or end up smothering and mutilating animals, spouting "I loved them so much I had to/I couldn't stand it!" or, "If they could just see how much I love them!"

How wholesome!

Okay!

...Oh look! A shooting star!

I wish I may, I wish I might...wait...it's getting bigger....Closer!

OMG! It's coming right for me!

What is it?! It has eyes...so many eyes!

I looked up into the abyss and it looked into me.



Why would you do this to people?!

Do you have any idea the amount of evil you have unleashed?

Nothing positive.

Maybe.

Depends on the situation.

Who is cheating on whom and what is my relationship to them?

I mean there are huge differences between:
"I caught my partner in bed with someone else, should I say anything or is it just their life to lead and I have to accept them flaws and all?"

vs.

"A coworker showed me their facebook and I saw their wedding, and honeymoon, and family, and I recognize someone that's married as having hit up a casual acquaintance from a past job for casual sex on a dating app. Should I tell?"

vs.

"My sibling in law keeps flirting and hitting on me and asking me for sex. Should I say anything or just avoid them?"

And the question is so vague it could even cover:
"I've been cheating on (or have cheated once) on my partner/spouse/date/whatever, should I say anything, confess, or if I haven't done it again just keep it to myself?"


Can't really tell you what I would do in the situation if I don't know what the situation is.
I may never even actually be in that situation in the first place.

I never really associated horror movies with Halloween.
Even the horror movie Halloween. To me it's like associating Sci-Fi with Easter.

For me it was the things that had fun celebrating the cultural/social tradition.

Things like It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.
I watched Hubie Halloween recently, and I thought that was fun.

Maybe Elvira Mistress of The Dark.
Watching the local cable, or pay cable shows that were hosted by Elvira, or people like Elvira that had some kind of "scary" shtick, they'd wear a costume, and late night on Halloween they'd play campy "horror" movies from the 60's and 70's and offer commentary and humor before and after the movies or commercials, rife with Halloween puns and other special guests in costume.

Also, all the t.v. shows that had Halloween episodes. Like Simpsons tree house of horror, 80's Roseanne, Home Improvement, or Friends.

A few years ago YouTube was great for Halloween "movies."
You could watch hours of home movies of kids (first) trick or treat adventures, and pranks pulled on trick or treaters.

Also on YouTube you used to be able to find "movies" of people (and their reactions to) going through professional haunted houses, but anymore "professional" haunted houses just seem to be teenagers screaming in your ear as loud as they can and jump scares.

And you used to be able to find all sorts of "hidden cam" movies on YouTube where people would record drunk people at Halloween parties, where they're all in costume and just saying the funniest/weirdest/most horrible things/confessions.

I think YouTube did a lot of editing out of that stuff, though, I haven't looked for a while.

Depends on your expectations.

If you expect:
- everyone to simply accept it, possibly celebrate it, and not have a nasty comment or unsolicited opinion about it
- it to be any easier to find someone you're actually attracted to
- people to be truthful in return
- to receive any meaningful brownie points or reward for being "truthful"
- you'll be well received or accepted by women you are attracted to, but aren't attracted to you
- don't understand the two rules of internet dating (be attractive, don't be unattractive)

Then, yeah, there's something "wrong" in being truthful and saying hey i'm on here just for sex and for us both to have some enjoyment.

Especially if it's one of those "oh crap, posting a forum thread where I just say 'hey horny ladies, email me for sex so we can just have some enjoyment' will probably violate the tos or something and will be taken down. I know! I'll write it out as a question to get around them so I can billboard rather than go through all those yucky profiles and maybe miss someone that is on now. Can't deal with FOMO, so let's put some bait on the forums!"

Then, yeah, there's something "wrong" in being truthful and saying hey i'm on here just for sex and for us both to have some enjoyment.


Otherwise, no, not really.

No.

People aren't compartmentalized.

They're not just perfect little beings with this one little sidecar attached labeled "disability" (or baggage) that "good" people ignore, and doesn't affect anything, it just sits in that sidecar.

For instance, I know an older woman dating a guy with diabetes. He is also on a bunch of medication which thins his blood. He still eats candy.
He can't feel his feet very well. If he gets any kind of cut he may bleed out.
He can't go to the dentist because if they perform any kind of oral surgery he could bleed out and die. His teeth are rotting out slowly and it's causing all sorts of insecurities and emotional problems and additional health problems. What makes him feel better? Candy. Too much of which also cause mental problems in impulse control and understanding.

She used to "dream" about traveling, going to see family, having friends, living life. Due to his medications and everyday health he can't fly. He has problems in certain environments (like mountains).
Now she's in a cycle of depression where she can't leave him because he doesn't have anyone else and she thinks if she leaves him he'll die, and thoughts of leaving him to fend for himself make her feel so bad, that she's a bad person, that she gets more depressed and starts to believe there's no one else out there for her, because who would want to date someone that just left someone for their "disabilities."

This isn't who they are, but some of the crap they're dealing with. Trying to deal with this, while not fighting, and trying to enjoy their lives together, are leading to spiraling into both becoming worse people. Trying to deny that whole "our disabilities don't define us! We're good people!"

In the beginning it was all "oh, well, we'll be careful and just go here, do this, that, the other, we'll make it work."
In the beginning it was all "oh, diabetes is manageable. Depression is manageable. Low mobility is okay. We're going to live how we want to. Candy? Bring it on. We'll just drive everywhere and take it slow."

She wallows in depression, he in insecurities, and they use/feed off each other to feel better than that, where the stress just pushes more of their life in dealing with their "disabilities."

Their lives are constrained, fenced in, nearly defined by their "disabilities" now, and they don't realize it. They go nowhere, they do nothing, and pretend they're satisfied, rationalizing why they can't live the lives they want.
"Oh, it's not the diabetes and medical condition or depression keeping us from doing anything! It's this stupid bad weather, it's family that may potentially need us at some point. Nope, no disability here!"


Personally, I have no desire to even potentially be sucked into that black hole.

Everyone displays narcissism. To a degree, it's healthy and normal.
It's not like a disease where you either have it or not.

Are you referring to an actual personality disorder?
Then it depends on things like severity, and who is doing the "determining."



You're kinda vague with any meaningful details.

I mean sometimes increasingly severe "narcissistic" seeming behavior can simply arise from bad communication in a relationship.
Attempts to acquire the feedback that they aren't getting, lost in translation where one may be providing something (like compliments/admiration), but the other doesn't understand how it's being expressed.

Just like being dropped in a random country where you don't speak the language.
You may encounter someone and say "Hi, can I have some water please, I just got dropped into this country, and haven't had anything to drink for 3 days."

But they have absolutely no idea what you're saying. You're getting more and more thirsty. So to try and make yourself better understood you start making obvious gestures.
Like pointing to your mouth, or spitting on your hand to point to something wet, or making a gesture like you're holding a glass and tipping it to your mouth and making gulping noises.
Whereas the other person may just be looking at you and your wild gesticulating thinking you've got severe mental problems and you're disgusting for spitting on yourself.

Are you new to online dating and the internet?


If they haven't used up their days to play around, why would they stop?

IMO seems kinda like asking "why are only the poor, old, desperate people with handicaps and no job skills willing to accept this 10 year contract for minimum wage?"

You gotta look at, from their perspective, what is their benefit, what are their risks, what are their options (your competition from their perspective), and what you "really" have to offer for what you're seeking.

What is the advice that's been plastered all over the internet, news articles, online dating and advice sites for the past 20+ years?
"You're too young to settle down. Focus on your career, your education. Be independent. Go out and have fun." And (if you're older) things like "60 is the new 40!" Or "40 is the new 20!"
And that doesn't even begin to cover the whole "find your inner child" phenomenon.


Have you ever known someone that said, or seen, read, or heard, or maybe done it yourself, to a guy "let's just be friends?"

It makes no sense to me, at any stage, where there's perfectly good erections, why should a man sit with her then and be unpleased.

When someone is perceived to represent a point where benefit exceeds potential risk and consequences, representing a subjectively high enough potential for fulfillment of accomplishment and satisfaction.


Not really.
There is limited space here.
Your question can be considered extremely broad or vague.

Attractive for what?
A person in general? Or a specific person?

I mean there is a huge difference between things like:
"At what age, level of health, life situation, to what degrees, considering golden triangle, body ratios, health, social compatibility, etc., is a human being considered to be at the height of their sexual/mating/romantic attractiveness?"

and something like:
"Based on your last relationship, do you remember exactly when and why you felt the greatest amount of attraction to your partner? Also taking into account the idea that after your first realization of the amount of attraction that it didn't wane so much as you became accustomed to it?"

and something like:
"Do you feel you are just as attractive as you were 10+ years ago? When do you feel you were most attractive? And why? How has that changed or been affected by changes in your life?"

Or even: "when robbing people, what attracts you most to a potential victim compared to others?"


All of which could be inferred by your question.

Otherwise:

Depends on the person.

I would disagree. Especially for the internet.
As you're dealing with unknown cultures, social strata, belief systems, education levels, intelligence, etc., that there really isn't a standardized "manners."
You ever read the book "kiss, bow, or shake hands?"
What is considered "couth" for one person could easily be considered as "uncouth" by another.

"Couth" is not "apropos" to internet interaction.


I would disagree and say it serves a very legitimate purpose, online.

It's concise, to the point, and there's no possibility of miscommunication.


I mean if I was sent something as smarmy as:
"After much contemplation of your academic record, we Regret to inform you that your application for admission to our university has not been approved..."
I would write back asking for further clarification.
Because it would seem to me I was just on the point of being approved (hence the need for "much contemplation"), and to see if there was anything I could do to explain, or offset, or exculpate myself of that one little teeny tiny thing solely in my academic record that might shift their "much contemplation" from the negative.

Not to mention, at best, the more personalized or "couth" they wrote their letter the more it would trigger me to continue the dialogue. To "graciously" and with "much contemplation" respond and accept their denial.


You should also be taught to be direct, concise, and to the point. Avoiding unnecessary communication that leads to miscommunication and the need for escalating conflict resolution.


"Throwing shade" is a means of manipulating an emotional response.
Most "communication" is indirect. Facial expression, tone of voice, posture, etc. These communicate internal emotional responses for the sake of generating a response for feedback to determine future emotional responses.

Online, like dating websites, there is no indirect communication.
People attempt to make up for that lack via shortcuts like "lol," or, emoji's, or, "throwing shade."
To insert emotional communication, what's conveyed via indirect communication, into a shallow communication medium where none can really exist.

As to "no response is a response," that's been true since, at the very least, the invention of commercials.
When you're watching t.v. and a commercial comes on do you immediately start writing a letter "dear tide/t.v. station/cable company, I wish to thank you for the opportunity to express my gratitude for the interest you've shown in considering me for potentially becoming your customer..."
Or how about when you receive an email to grow your penis by 2 inches or for a nigerian prince scam? "I wish to thank you for the opportunity to express my gratitude for the interest you've shown in spamming me trying to scam me out of my money..."
Or do you just ignore it and go on with your life?

Sure, to you you're an individual special person with feelings, you're the protagonist in your life, and you have memories of your entire day and life in your head, and maybe you just want love, and kindness, and simple validation.
But to everyone else on a dating site or the internet, you're just a random email or message that popped up onto their device, interrupting life, trying to sell something to get what you want.

On the internet you aren't a work colleague. You don't have to be face to face everyday facing the same problems for the sake of your continued employment, forced to worked together.

On the internet, and especially dating sites, you're a lone traveler wandering through the woods, randomly coming across a stranger from another tribe.

So IMO there is no "couth" in relation to the internet. It is apropos of nothing here.

The best you can hope for is avoiding a TOS violation for whatever area you happen to be in, then you have to try and rely on excessive gesturing to try and get people to understand the most simple of concepts.

Because seemingly most people only:
1. Go to the internet and complain to people who don't really care, aren't all that affected, and have no power or authority to do anything, as opposed to talking to their neighbors/community, lawyers, and/or politicians?

2. Go to the internet and complain, find a bunch of people that agree with them, then set up protests that do nothing but annoy and interfere with random citizens, unless it turns to looting and violence which overshadows the purpose of the protest in the first place?

3. Go to their neighbors/community, and/or politicians, who set up committees with a veneer of legitimacy but are given a goalseek answer beforehand, buying time through a bureaucratic process hoping the problem goes away, and/or are paid off (err, campaign donated to) by those with deeper pockets than those complaining to them?


Brings to mind the stories about people that climb down into public port-a-potty's.
Maybe sell your home to a scat fetishist at a premium then buy a mansion a mile down the road!


I don't know why you say that.
Are you under the impression there are a lot of people with a bit of clout in your locality that peruse dating website forums for legislative ideas?

Same reason people do pretty much anything.
To derive a perceived benefit, or to overcome a perceived deficiency.

People on a diet can eat a completely balanced and healthy meal, it doesn't mean they don't crave a piece of pie or greasy pizza. Some are better at denying themselves than others.

Pregnant women can be in the middle of eating a bowl of their favorite ice cream, and then go for a handful of pickles. Increased blood flow, some deficiency in her sodium or nutrition, can influence her craving for certain foods.

The reason people do anything: they want more, or they think they don't have enough.

It's outside the norm for people to accurately measure the value of what they actually have.

Too many implicit biases.