Anymore, as far as dating online goes, I don't see them as any different than plastic surgery, makeup, push up bras, waist cinchers, toupee's, or false teeth.

But they're one of many reasons why I know profiles are relatively meaningless and nothing matters until you actually meet up and date/have sex.

IOW, anymore, seems little different than getting drunk at the bar, going home with a 10 and waking up with a 310...lb gollum looking creature.
I don't get drunk for bar hookups anymore either.

Other than that, in a larger context, I think they're (photo filter/apps) scary as hell.
Have you seen those that can transform a guy into a girl, or girl into a guy, convincingly?
Or where they use a famous persons face only it is responding according to the users facial expressions, so the famous persons likeness is ultimately a puppet to the user, including their voice?
Think about that, have you ever seen a politician in person? Or only on t.v. and youtube videos? How do you know that politician is even alive, and not just a computer generated image responding to some random person.


I don't use them.
1. I don't know how.
2. I have better things to do.
3. I don't see how they add value or anything positive.
4. My vanity is in suits and hygiene products.

During the covid mass hysteria house arrest I was able to watch a lot of movies.

They make the fake relationships seem like a great idea.

I mean there are just a ton of movies where one (hot) person hires another one to come home for the holidays, or for a work function, or some family to do thing, and pretend to be in a relationship.

They get paid, they get laid, there's self improvement, hilarious hijinks and 99.99 times out of a hundred it leads to "true love."

And everyone knows you should believe everything you see in a movie or read on the internet.

So I choose the fake relationship.


I'm somewhat wary of something called a "serious relationship."
I am not sure what you mean by that.
Does it entail spending all our dates reading the wall street journal together while wearing ascots or something? How "serious" is it?

Depends on the guy.

In general they don't have anything against BBW's.
They do have other options, though.
You are competing against non BBW's. Younger, and older.
Not to mention, you're competing against not dating at all. Hobbies, friends, career, travel, family, other interests, self fulfillment and actualization.


Are you saying that if someone isn't a "BBW" that they aren't "presentable, fun, and real?"

Are you saying that "BBW'ness" is a secret recipe that adds something to personality and character? That without it, those that don't have that "BBW" secret sauce are less, inferior?


OMG. You are. You are basically saying "BBW are better than non BBW, just because we're BBW."


Are you trying to find a single guy to fulfill the entire "BBW" community?
Is this about what you want and need? Or about what the community wants and needs?

Regardless, doesn't really matter what you need and want, except to you.

No one is entitled to anything from anyone.
Sex, relationships, jobs, acceptance, trust, love, whatever.

It's no one's responsibility to give another what they need and want simply for the sake of needing/wanting.
It's up to the individual to go out and get, work towards fulfilling their own needs and wants.

Most (adult) people do this through cooperative efforts.
"I give you what you want, you give me what I want. I work for you, you give me money. I give you money, you give me food. You act trustworthy, I give you trust."
If you want something from someone, you have to give them something they want of equal or (perceived from their perspective, not yours) greater value.

Of course, there's also the option of collaboration. Combining efforts for synergistic effect towards mutually beneficial goals.
Then you have to be/offer something that works together with who/what they are towards something you both want.

Either way, it's not begging someone to provide you something.
Especially not just "because BBW, since BBW is better than non BBW because BBW."


That is your choice.
This is an actual choice you are making.
For every choice, there are consequences, outcomes.


Perfection has nothing to do with it.
It has more to do with competition and attraction.


There are tons (no pun or insult intended).
Just like single mothers.
There is a huge selection to choose from, and to a stranger none are really better than the other.


Is that really what you want?
You really want to receive a first email contact that reads something like "Hey, read your profile. Don't really want to date you. But, well, thought I'd give you a chance. I noticed there were a ton of older BBW's on this site so thought I'd just shotgun a bunch of emails to y'all. Eh. I'll give you a chance. Let me know what giving you a chance gets me, m'kay? TTYL!"

Great!

Seems like you might have come up with a hypothesis based on personal observation?

Now all ya gotta do is just start lying to them and compare what happens.

Please keep us apprised of your results!

The closest you'll ever come is by keeping his belly full, his balls empty, and don't come between him and his toys, duties, or responsibilities.


Something that he values (from his perspective) as worth his heart and attention.

How that's worded, kinda, maybe, sort of, not really.

You no longer have an obligation to the dead person.
They're dead.
There's no recourse for not fulfilling that obligation to them, there's no more relationship.

If you feel you have an obligation to others to maintain that secret, that's your personal choice to feel/call it obligated, but it's no longer an obligation that was put upon you or to the one that did.


In many cases, continuing to feel obligated, is a means of shifting responsibility for personal choices/behavior.

"It's not that I am/am not telling people this secret by my own choice. It's because of my obligation. It's that obliger's fault! Yeah, that's it. Not me. Nope! It's 'obligation,' yeah, that's it, something separate and compartmentalized from me. I can trigger whatever emotions I want and do what I want and feel justified, for good or ill. Not my responsibility, nope nope nope. 'Obligation!' cha cha cha! I can participate in gossip, or keep it to myself and feel guilty, in any case feel important and meaningful and relevant, win win for me, and any consequences from it? Well, those I can pass on to what/whom ever initiated the obligation!"


One thing a lot of people that play the "confide secrets" and obligation don't really consider is they may know something, but they don't have actual proof.

I'm always worried when someone asks me this question.

Because 90% of the time they're either:
1. an employee at a store and want to sell me something else (Oh this belt would go with those pants).
2. about to rob me outside of the store, or offer me drugs.
3. came home early, caught me, and are about to the call the police.

So I'm wary about answering.

This question just reminded me of this:

https://youtu.be/UmzsWxPLIOo

Yes. They always will.

They're ultimately saying "communicate your internal feelings in a way I understand."


Pick for what?

There's a ton of stuff that can be unraveled in that.

1. People saying one thing and doing another.
2. That third person observers are unbiased of others relationships.
2a. Readers of profiles that read/hear "want a kind, sensitive, caring, etc. guy" know what that means to the author and aren't biased in the interpretation by the reader/listener.
3. Hypergamy.
4. Absolutes. Such as "bad-boy macho types" are incapable of being "kind, sensitive, caring, etc." at any time.
5. "niceguys," those that adopt a facade of munificent geniality as a means of "paying" for selfish expectation fulfillment.

That's not even close to a comprehensive list but it's getting boring.

I'm just trying to figure out exactly what you're asking.

Are you trying to actually figure out what all women are thinking and not only that determine if all women have changed their thinking, and to what degree, over the past 50 years?

Or are you focused on men's complaints? All men, complaining men, specific men?

Either way, seems the spirit of the lyrics hold true.
Communication between men and women is still a struggle.

Yep.
It's all in your head.


Well, that's more than some people.


But a lot of people treat love like an "experience."
Like "I've never experienced Space Mountain at Disney," or, "I've never experienced a gunshot wound."

"Love" serves a higher purpose than an experience, a trophy. Or something provided to you by someone else.

A "mothers love" exists to keep them from just throwing you out the door, sell you, or drop you off at the fire station when you become too big of an annoying parasite as a baby.
Babies don't contribute anything. They eat, sleep, poop, and cry. They consume a lot of resources.

A mothers love keeps a mother from strangling a kid when it burns down the house after discovering matches.
Or keeps the mother from tossing the baby over her shoulder to the chasing lion in order to get away.


Romantic love serves relationships. For perpetuation. To keep a relationship going long enough that it 1. leads to babies. 2. leads to protecting babies long enough they don't need the teat and can run away from lions.

If your goals, choices, and behaviors in life aren't to start a family, maintain a family, protect and grow a family, legacy, then there's really no need for you to pursue romantic "love."

It's like saying "I've never experienced career fulfillment."
If all of your desires, choices, all of your training, all of your time is spent on chasing money, free time, lifestyle, education, rather than, say, global purpose of your life, and you only accept/take random jobs you don't have to try that hard to get, then why would you.

Or saying "I've never experienced healthy nutrition."
Meanwhile you've spent your life eating chicken nuggets, fast food, prepackaged meals, and never learned to cook or follow a recipe, just relied on going out to restaurants, why would you.


Romantic "love" is easy to find and cultivate, as long as your goals, decisions, and life align to the same thing that romantic "love" serves.

If you just chase it like a drug, an experience, the best you're ever going to get is the same as heroin users chasing the dragon, and never fulfilled.

Easily.
Time and distraction.
Just like mending from a sprained ankle, broken arm, cut thumb, whatever.
Your body will heal itself.
Take it easy, do something else, stop scratching the wound, play with your toys, establish other routines in other important aspects of your life that create something positive or beneficial.

The more important question is why do people not allow themselves to recover/heal after a break up.

It's like when people believe it takes more energy to frown than smile.
Or studying why people put themselves into depressive states, wallowing in self pity.

Everyone naturally recovers over time after a break up, unless they actively work to not do so. Why do people keep themselves from healing after a break up.


How do babies and kids possibly get over when their parents put them in another bedroom, or keep them from sleeping together, or stop showing up at late night feedings to ween, or send them off to school, or basically show the kid that it isn't the center of the universe?

If babies can do it, anyone can. At the very least, start copying what babies do.

Kinda depends on what you think "love" is.

If you think it's a magic problem solver or absolute goal, like once you've achieved "love" then you are guaranteed to feel that emotion, are entitled to fulfillment of expectations, ease of relationships and lack of stress, that magically makes you smarter, more observant, and enforces boundaries and commitment by itself, turning you into a different/better person, then no.

If you think "love" is more of an emotional force multiplier that influences the incentives for relationship perpetuation, but isn't really more important than (consistency to/with) commitment and communication, then yes.

Your question is flawed.

There was no "before the internet."

The "internet" has always been.

Hiding, existing, through its natural wonders creating synergistic unions.

It used to be understood through patriarchal unwoke derogatory terms like "networking" and talking "face to facebook," and "interacting," or getting all up in "my(personal)space." I mean how could you name the nation "United States of America without the "internet" representative Americaonline (AOL)? You know how people make the "pspspsps" sound to call cats? The "internet" programmed modems to make a sound that would act the same towards humans.

Due to the response towards the LGBTQ community and equal rights movement, the internet decided to come out and live openly. Now it's LGBTQi.

Currently most of its focus is on reclassifying binary gender.
I mean who can really tell the difference between a 0001 and 0000001 just from the color of their genitals? It's what is inside that counts! The content of their character/profile creation screen!

Well, that's according to critical race common core theory.
And that's only accurate to about the 1400's.

Before then people met each other by smoking in bed, burning their house down, then having to wander aimlessly down the street until they randomly accidentally ran into someone (before light was invented so dark out, except for the fire, but people were sleepy, so their eyes were closed).

This was way before the invention of pants.

So sometimes it led to pregnancy as people wandering around without pants got stuck into one another and had to pass the time.
I remember my grandma singing a famous song from back then, one line just stuck with me to this day. "Whose who who is in whose whoms cha cha, don't tell santa."

Fun fact, after the great chicago fire it was illegal for a property to not have a fence, but right after world war ii it was illegal to own a fence.


Of course different cultures had different means of meeting people.
Cubans would yell out their window "anyone wanna say hello to my li'l friend?"
And different tribes were given a handbook (by the internet) accidentally misspelled "how to meat people," and became cannibals.


All that was on Discovery last night right after ice road shark truckers. Didn't you watch?

Yes! They're full of crap.
I based all of my strategies on "Reefer Madness," but whenever I find a pothead woman to date they don't act all slutty and murdery!
F'n hollywood.


Yeah. I prefer San Diego.
Well, I'd prefer to never go to California at all.
I think there are better places all over the U.S., let alone other countries.
Been to Las Vegas too. I think that's far more over rated than L.A.


Because movies are trying to manipulate an emotional reaction as part of a narrative, and mundane everyday life people have a tendency to not pay much attention to?

It's kinda like asking "why are McDonald's billboards a picture of their food and bright colors, sometimes flashing lights? Rather than just a black and white sign that reads "we sell you food for money."


Beats asking family members.


You can if you want.
I don't know about "should."
I mean if I am looking for a full time job, "should" I ask for a part time intern position just so the boss, company, culture, and I can "get to know" each other, and then at some random point ask for full time salary and benefits, with the expectation that they didn't fill the full time position already?


At some point I might be. Not like when I first see them, but at some point I may turn into Will Ferrell in old school wondering about the type of underwear they've got on. Does it match? What kind of material? Is it sexy, or functional? Any at all? Are they going to catch hairs in the zipper when they go to the bathroom, or what if I make them laugh so hard they shart a little, if it's lace will it be like a playdoh factory decorating their pants?

I do also spend a lot of time wondering what's in their purse. Alligators? Thumbs? A bunch of anti psychotic medication? Ninja stars? Could be anything.
And what if they don't have a purse? Did they go all La Femme Nikita and leave it above the ceiling in the bathroom because they have a suppressed Walther hiding in there and I'm a target?

But really, I find the more boring they are, the more I have time to sit around wondering. If they're engaging and fun, I am interacting and not really wondering anything at all.

100 and more?
Heck yeah!
I'm going to be Genghis Khan.
All Conan the Barbarian (minus the Jorge Sanz bit).
"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women." Best in life.


Oh....Nah. That's okay. I already know some of that.

I'd settle for learning some Mad Max Road Warrior car modifications so I can raid, plunder, and enslave the dirty hippies that do, although probably not the cars from 100 years ago...
Just can't see an up-armored Model T as better than an off the lot Hummer.

Plus, I like that it's an option. Without the modern westernized system, there wouldn't even really be the choice. It would be mandatory to live that way.
So I'll take one for the team, and not "learn the ways of 100 and more years ago," to help support the framework that allows people to have that choice.

You're welcome.

Because they aren't helpful in regards to romantic relationships.

At best they may have limited use towards certain specific (professional) tasks, skills, and roles.

At worst they offer kind of a placebo effect and/or you end up using it to define your identity, your personality, incapable of seeing (and appropriately responding to when it is contradicted by) actual reality.


Psychology, sociology, the human sciences, the professionals in these fields don't have a better than average (and usually worse) track record, finding and maintaining healthy relationships, than the average person.


Sorry, no secret cheat codes to make dating easier.

Nothing, anymore. When I was like 18, I felt weird/shy about buying toilet paper. So I'd go late at night to the store across town and buy like 3 giant multi family packs to last me a few months, and tell the cashier I was stocking up the office.
Then I realized they don't care, no one cares.

So now what I like to do and spend my "shy" energy on is figure out peoples murder kits.

I remember watching Dexter and seeing him go to the store with Miguel(?) to buy supplies for a kill. Miguel was just buying plastic wrap and a knife. So Dexter threw in life jackets and other stuff to hide what they were doing.
Or I think there was a Halloween movie where teens were going to buy a ton of tp and cartons of eggs, so to try and be discrete they bought some bacon and depends so no one would suspect.

So I like looking into peoples baskets at the store and try to figure out how they're going to serial murder someone based on what they're buying. What's the weapon and what's camouflage.

Mostly at places like Home Depot, but the grocery store can be more fun.
"Oh, they're buying vegetables and pringles with all the other stuff? They're going to chinese finger puzzle their victims hands together, then cover them with the vegetables and let loose carnivorous rabbits."

I'm not shy about buying anything from a store anymore, that's why the stores exist, to sell me stuff.

I do find it awesome to watch other people that are shy about it though.
Like there was some sort of homecoming or prom dance not to long ago, and I saw teens wandering through a convenience store, surreptitiously eyeing the condoms until they worked up the courage to grab a pack. Hard to be discrete wearing a sequined ball gown and tux at a gas station convenience store.

They don't, really, unless they're settling, or they're transferring responsibility for their choices.


Because in the beginning, it's probably not what she wants.


That kinda sounds like assault.

So what's going on?

Are you saying that you don't actually want "true" love?

Or are you saying you're a masochist?

Or are you saying you're just throwing out a billboard implying some kind of love virtue signal kinda deal hoping women read this and think "Hmmm, well he must be serious, he said the secret password of love and implied reciprocation, therefore let's hurry up and send him some emails right now!?"

...Just want to clarify...

Joe momma.
Yo mamma.
And that's what their mom said last night.

Instead of just putting a bullet in my head, kicking me out the door, or dropping me off in some random part of town or the wilderness, they'd actually return me because I'd make so many mother references they'd have to check my house and see if their momma was actually there.