Getting up early, CHECK, didn't even go to bed.
Cleaning the house, CHECK, dishes done dude.
Getting coffee and showing off, CHECK, it was fun.
Starting an awkward conversation, CHECK, the computer repair guy was fun-ny.
Having a meaningful conversation with parent. CHECK, double CHECK. He agreed for once.
Starting a new contraversy, rumors and misunderstandings including pissing the relatives off, CHECK, CHECK, and Double CHECK! I love a good rumor, when I start it about me.
Posting a declaration of being constipated on my blogsite, CHECK, That's right, I don't give a SH_T! I love me, if you don't, GOOD! I GOT ME LOVE!!
SEX! YUP, I CHECKED THAT OUT GOOD!!! LOL AND YES HE WAS GOOD!! DAM I love my bad boys down at the SINDER BLOCK! LOL
And the day ain't over yet, LOL
Can't help it, gotta check yourself sumtimes, lol

When you have to explain your illness to your family and friends and they look at you like your gonna jump at them or something. The stigma from family and freinds can be the biggest hurt a person carries with them, those of us with a mental illness that is. Everytime your around them, it can feel like you have to explain yourself, as if you were trying to prove to the world you are worthy of respect and understanding and patience and love. This can cause a person to feel like they did something wrong or they are being punished. Also, it can make a person feel unworthy to be with those they love and wished would love them back. It is hard enough facing the world out there without family and freinds bringing you down. Each family is differant, this I know, but it does get very hard when a person is dealing with a mental illness and can make all sorts of mistakes, as family calls it, as we call it, learning experiences. Sometimes a person with mental illness has to find support out side of home, and can go to support meetings and counseling. I say keep going all of you who are dealing with this. You are worthy, don't let anyone take your happiness. Love yourself and take care of yourself. And be good. smiles

Exercise, take a long hot shower and than doing something you like, sex is a good stress reliever, go out to a place you like, like th bookstore or the movies, cook something you like, if you have pets, pets can be good for relieving stress if you play with them or even sitting down watching some mindless tv while petting your dog or cat can be good, observe changes in your breathing and replace them with steady and slow breaths to calm your nerves, clear your mind from troubling thoughts, imagine yourself in your nice place, a desert oasis, a beach, somewhere nice where you can relax. Treat yourself to a that hot long hot shower or even taking a nap can help. slow down your responses to difficult or stressful situations, you will find that slowing down and responding when you have all your ducks in a row or all the facts straight can help rather than flying off the handle or getting overly reactive. Keep your distance from others, you may need to back up for a while so you can get a better perspective on a situation, take a break, get some coffee or tea. If caffeine causes you to get too wired, don't drink it. Give someone a hug, you may need one too. hush the critical voice inside your head, turn your nagging self thinking into positive thinking and reward yourself for the things you have done right. Self talk is good when stressed major. Affirmations can be good here. it is ok to ask for help when you are stressed and a situation is more than you can handle alone. Take a retreat, go somewhere nice for a while, like for a nice drive, don't drive angry. Maybe go out to eat or go visit a family member you can trust and be supportive. Ok that's all I got for now, LOL

At the age of 20, I asked a very artistic and open minded individual if I was open minded, he politely said, NO. And from that point on, I began to examine why I wasn't as open minded as I thought I was. I began with my sexuality, and to question why I had chosen not to engage in sexual activity. I explored all my understanding about it and came to terms that I was indeed straight, I just wanted the right man. As I grew, I began to explore my own beliefs to that point, and relized, I had alot of rigid beliefs about everything, from family values to religion to anything and everything. I didn't know anything about anything really, except what it was like to live in a family that almost shunned learning and evolving into a better person. But I grew as a person and I learned that everyone has value to some extent. But it is what we thing of ourselves that matters in the end. If I am able to understand certain things better about what person B is going threw better than person C does, because person C has never gone through it or has not dealt with what person B is going through yet, than I suppose that helps me to better find the things I need to address. Openmindedness, means being able to see both views to some extent without losing what you know is important to you and those you love in well being and physical being. Everyone has limits, and we have them for a reason. Bounderies are pivotal in understanding an open mind. And open mind is not someone who is out of control, rather someone who is learning to control themselves by understanding everything around them and the people in their lives and willing to give the time to understand many aspects of life. Does that answer your question somewhat?

Well, sometimes we are the only intelligent people we have to talk to, smiles

aaaw, that is very nice.

Welldone, I like your poem as well. very good.

Wow, great poem, and than I think of a poem, and how one poem can be read by 100 differant people and it will have a differant meaning for each one. We are all unique. And complex.

Interesting, very interesting,hmm, however, I would say, sometimes, answering yourself is the only way to get the answer you want, not always the answer you need that is.

Well there yu go. And no, still ain't watchin it, I don't know about you, but that kind of stuff, ssooooooooo very wrong on soooooooooo many levels.

You wanna see something real crazy and sick and bizarre and twisted, see the film made from one of the Mariqui de Saudes, called Sola, or was it Solas, anyways, it is about, 120 days of sodam, it is disgusting, and no I have not watched it personally, but my freind did, it is an older film, may be hard to find, but it is definalty sick and sad. an-y-ways, I'm gone, lol

Thank you so much MissKim, may your day be blessed, smiles

very true,I'm gonna take your comment as an agreement on my last comment, I hope your day turns out the way you want it too, bye everyone, hope you find the answers you are looking for, v

Yes, I have, and you have to burn, white sage, not just sage, a white sage smug will help, but there are other things you have to do as well, and that is up to you, and how much you look into that sort of thing, I have heard a few things work for making your place a sacred space, you should go to About.com and look up Sacred spaces, it will help you find what you may need. smiles, hope I helped, have a good day.

This is very true, Sh!t does happen to keep people apart, but than it is a 'take the chance when you have it' thing, Life is strange, you never know when your gonna meet the right one, and in the back of your mind, its like was that him, or her, was that person the one and I didn't know it? It will drive you up the wall that way. I thought I had found the one, but we messed it up, note I say, we, it takes two.

I agree with the above, he is doing it because you're letting him get away with it, that is exactly how my ex was, don't give in, he will play if you play and then he will take advantage but act as if it was your fault or he will act all hurt and stuff because you confronted him like it really messed his head up or something. Truth is, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, as was told to me, by his roomate when I confronted my ex lover.

I can't live in the past where your eyes reside

on the other side of my mind,

I can't hold onto your image,

but it is burned inside and out of me,

I hate to let go of that memory,

it hurts me so well,

I couldn't kill it again,

like I did so long ago,

with music and busy days,

fun and delusions,

life is not the illusion,

I was,

rhythm seems to serve a single purpose,

as I come alive,

your memory blooms within me

without me,

all around me,

and could I ever do better,

even though all I have ever wanted

was a place to call my own,

where my heart could settle down,

from its frantic beat,

every moment of fear,

caught on the up beat,

every moment of darkness,

caught on the down beat,

I know I could never do better than this,

because all I have ever wanted was a place to call my own,

but I am saturated with the memory of you,

and I am weak,

laying on the valley of your control,

you wanted me to lose it all,

and so I bounce on your virtual wave,

some half sane vision of a sword,

either way I go I'm cut,

from the surface of mankind

down to the depths of sorrow,

with regret to clothe me,

as it always has,

from fractured moment to moment,

the only way I will be free,

is when I have gone,

back to that place you call your home,

that place that was never my own,

the place I stole a breath,

kissed your heart,

but turned into regrets angel,

I can't relax,

I can't catch my breath because I'm not fine,

I once thought I could read minds,

but insanity can turn into profanity,

when the soul is not whole,

but lives in a hole,

dying on the edge of reason,

out of the light,

there is a stranger

standing inside out,

someone I forgot to be yesterday,

please don't push your ignorance on me,

I'm not unknowing of hate,

not unknowing of misery and its songs,

I can scream, Let Me Go,

but then where would it go,

falling on deaf ears and eyes,

I'm laughing on the inside,

your drowning my realizations

and pushing them aside,

why do I bother,

why cry,

you stole my tears everytime,

If I'm so unworthy

why bother at all,

to steal a sigh,

turn me aside,

and ground me into the cinnamon earthen chamber

where my mysteries lay,

like bones for bread,

tapestries,

where fires are closer to igniting gasoline dreams,

I'm caught in your eyes,

I guess I never learn,

lacerated by your exposing of me,

dripping the red dream,

why walk with this,

such whispered secrets,

with truth pushing up the viens in my heart,

I'll never let you know where it is I really go,

when I am between tomorrow and a lost day,

cause we are just as weak,

as we were yesterday,

lacerating dreams and love and lives,

twisting in the vine of your confessionals,

trip on me than,

let's fall together,

rid the world forever,

of vice and not playing nice,

sweet caramel sugar spun days,

lets work out another way,

and let's play.

I agree with you MissKim, When a person makes that decision, it is well thought out. And there is usually a good reason for it, so call me pessimistic if you want, been there, done that, not going back. If he likes you, he likes you, if he don't anymore, you'll know, If you don't firgure it out, your being desperate.

Nope, wait a minute, hmmm, uh no, definatly no. LOL

All it was for him was a friend with benefit thing, that was it, a boodycall sugar, hate to say it, but it is true.