It's happened to me more than once and I do believe that there is such a thing as closure, although some people may not believe in it due to their own psychological makeup and personal situation.

It took me five years to get over one girlfriend and I had to talk to her to get mixed emotions out of my system and forgive her. I finished it but we never had a proper chat about how I felt because I couldn't at the time because it would have hurt too much and I was too proud to get into a debate about it. The relationship wasn't good in a lot of ways but I am socially isolated and having someone in my life is better than just being lonely. It's not so easy for me to just shrug it off and get somebody else, or make new friends. Even when I do the same thing happens and then I'm back where I started but with a lot of memories and unanswered questions.

I met another girl two years ago and she just hung up the phone on me one day and that was it. I spent months trying to understand what had happened and thinking about how we had met and how special (albeit unlikely to work out) it had been to me. Then about a year later I met someone else and it happened to be someone from the other one's social circle, so I was basically trying to get answers from her friends because she wouldn't talk to me and I got them (sort of) and also met someone that initially at least seemed much more like proper girlfriend material. Well, I saw this latest one for about a year and then she just stopped calling me. The signs were there I suppose and things did seem to be fizzling out but she blew hot and cold a bit and was going through a bereavement, so I was just trying to be patient with her and she did seem to become a happier person as we got to know each other and it was a close friendship, whatever else it was.

Now I'm left wondering again. She probably just met somebody else but there could be other explanations and at this point I would settle for just having her back as a friend. Maybe she didn't feel that we were right for each other and that staying in my life was leading me on. I simply don't know and she could have been run over by a bus for all I know.

Saying goodbye properly is difficult but losing someone that you love or care for is a bereavement and I am sure that these people here saying that closure is BS would feel differently if someone that they loved actually died and they never got a proper chance to say goodbye to them. Theirs is just the psychology of unforgiveness and writing people off as not having been worth it as their way of moving on. They may be capable of that but it's still their version of closure.

Well, I'm not a fan of texting anywaybut a lot of people do it these days. Many women would rather do it than message on here. They sometimes also give you their facebook or ask you if you want to use some other thing for chatting. I generally tell them that I'll chat with them on the phone or meet them but that it's more convenient for me to message on here, rather than elsewhere and if they're genuinely interested they will accept that.

Well, this is the problem. You're supposed to show an interest but if you ask questions they tend to be evasive, if they reply at all. If you just talk about yourself it can come across as if you're only interested in doing that. Most of these conversations end up being boring and go nowhere.

Experience has taught me not to just believe things that women tell me on dating sites. It's not so much the personal information but many will lead you on with promises about meeting up and if you get emotionally invested at all with someone that's just on the internet you are quite possibly letting yourself in for a lot of upset and disappointment over someone that you never even met and never will. As for the "genuine" people that are really interested in dating, you won't get their full story in any number of emails and won't find out what skeletons they have in their closets until you've got to know them in person.

In conclusion, I don't waste my time writing to people that live too far away anyway and if it's someone that could make a date I don't really have the patience to exchange a lot of emails when it's usually me that has to do all of the talking and "trusting", while they do the judging until they maybe eventually make up their minds. Others may disagree with me about that and say that I'm just looking for "quick hookups" but the fact of the matter is that if it isn't going well in the first few messages it's unlikely to lead anywhere and if they are delaying meeting you after a reasonable amount of time spent chatting online it's because they're not that interested, or there's some reason why they're putting the date off, such as there being someone else they're more interested in or actually dating, or personal problems that mean that they're really not in a position to get involved in a romantic relationship with you anyway.

I also know somebody that is virtually housebound and have suggested that he try something like this.

As far as the numbers things goes though, I don't consider this as a networking site and for me, the forums have nothing to do with getting dates. Forumites represent a tiny proportion of people that use this site. They want to be here because they like it, or are possibly just bored. The people that are just on here for dating generally want to get out of here ASAP. I myself, wasn't on here for a year because I had met somebody that I liked.

You started this thread by saying something about the women having issues but now you're saying that you're messed up yourself because you were bullied at school. The thing is, you will tend to attract certain types of people if you talk about your problems. For one thing, people with problems themselves will probably be more sympathetic towards you and will expect you to be understanding and tolerant with them. They can also use it as a reason for dumping you or refusing to get seriously involved.

It's a tricky one because it seems to me that having a girlfriend that you could confide in could help you more than professional therapy but someone that you're romantically involved with may well use things that you tell them about yourself against you. That may not be an entirely bad thing, although it might seem abusive. When I met a woman several years ago I was insecure about certain things like going out in public and that led to constant arguments and complaints from her. The woman may have been virtually impossible to please but I think that I needed a boot up the arse at the time and I did take on board a lot of what she said about how I could be better as a boyfriend and tried not to make the same mistakes with other women. Dating can be a learning experience like that.

1: Talk to me. I won't bite. Ask me anything you want."

Subtext: I might read your message and I can't be bothered to say what I'm looking for, or don't know, so I'll just ask people to message me amd ignore anyone with stupid questions, or anyone I just don't feel like replying to.

2: I have many interests and keep myself busy and active."

Subtext: See one about the ask me thing and I do not have a boring life and am not fat.

3: I like nights out and also cosy nights in with a bit of snuggling up with a bottle of wine and a DVD."

Subtext: I expect you to take me out and if that goes alright I might have sex with you if you can put up with the films I'm going to make you watch and me being drunk.

There's some truth in what you say. I've met a few women with mental health problems through this and you do start to ask yourself if the mad impulsive types are the only ones that are likely to actually make a date sometimes. The women you talk about sound relatively sane compared to some I've met. It's not necessarily the "good men" that are getting all the "good women" though. You just sound a bit immature (never kissed a girl) and so do these girls.

Online dating works for some. It also depends on what you want or expect to get out of it. I've had a couple of brief relationships out of it and met a few people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. It helped me to move on from an ex that I was still hung up on. It's something that a lot of people do these days and they aren't all freaks. It is just different from meeting people in the real world and because people will just ignore you without reservations and reject you purely on first impressions from a profile it can dent your confidence and make you wonder if you're just wasting your time.

Women do this sort of thing too. It's difficult. You get no explanation and are left wondering. It's happened to me more than once and there may be no one simple reason why they did it. What's funny from these posts is that I've heard that jazz from women more than once about how their life is in too much turmoil at some particular time to get involved in a serious relationship and when they say it it's true and when a man says it it's because he's got another woman.

Also, he's a jerk for leaving you hanging like that but how many women here have refused to take a guy's calls and felt justified and maybe just shrugged and said that he'll get the message if I just no reply is a reply him?

Actually, "needing a sub" means needing a loan in the UK but I'm sure that these sandwich jokes are funny if you know what that's supposed to mean there.

But seriously, I've just drawn up a long list with the attributes that my perfect woman has to have and wiped my dirty arse with it because there is no such thing as perfect and anyone that thinks that there is is either deluded or just looking for excuses to keep serial dating and messing people around.

I'm with PhD on this one. Chatted with a really nice American lady on here for ages and got all of these daft fantasies about it leading somewhere into my head. Then she told me that there was actually somebody in her own country that she was interested in and it was cool because I had just met someone myself that lived in my home town.

Now I won't even bother if they're more than a few miles away. It's a waste of time and to be honest, if you're even entertaining the idea of a LDR you're probably just desperate.

Could be that he's not really ready for this yet. When I first tried dating sites I let my insecurities get in the way a bit and never actually asked anyone out. If you don't have the confidence to do that you really are wasting your time.

Some people aren't ready for the emotional involvement, or maybe they're just not feeling the spark with someone. I don't think that it's much more complicated than that, although for sure some people have "principles" when it comes to sex and "romance", strange as that may sound.

We all have our own ideas about these things. It's a pet peeve of mine when people put themselves out on the dating scene and lead others on when they really aren't ready but do it for selfish reasons and don't really take the people's feelings that they're playing with into consideration.

No. I need a dom because I'm an obnoxious arsehole but there are so few real women out there these days that can deal with me.

Tune in next week folks to find out why nobody that I ever date is ever good enough for me and that I'm happy being single anyway. WTF?

No rough stuff, mind you. What I'm talking about is somebody that will laugh at my jokes, put up with my snarky comments and bin my empty beer cans without complaining.

Yes, I'm posting a thread to make myself sound like an idiot and even bragging about personality quirks that would make a lot of people run a mile. Why would anybody do that? Trolling perhaps?

Sure. Why would a guy be wasting his time on a dating site if he's getting his needs met by hookers?

I know of loads of men that have gone with prozzies. Are they all perverts? Do they still do it, or did they just have a specific reason for wanting to do that at the time, such as losing their virginity or doing it because they somehow thought that it would boost their self esteem? I know a guy, for instance, that hasn't had sex for over ten years and that was with a hooker. He felt kind of bad about it aftewards apparently and even said something about how you can't really tell if a girl is doing it because she wants to or because she's a slave.

You could call loads of things sick and perverted. I sometimes feel that way about porn but I still watch it from time to time.

Oh and in response to the stoning question; some would say that men disapprove of trollops because they actually want to know if they are the real fathers of children or not.

Sexual relations are complicated. There are even men that get emotionally involved with prostitutes and then feel jealous about them sleeping with other men.

Yeah and whether we're still living in caves or not it boils down to reproduction, or at least the sexual drive.

Why are women always complaining that there aren't any decent men? Because they keep getting knocked up by jerks that they then proceed to post about, in a way that's quite often bitter and twisted to a lot of us reading that stuff and rolling our eyes.

Well, according to evolutionary psychology men are genetically predisposed to want sex with multiple partners, while women will look for a "provider" that will stick around and look after them and their children. That's the theory anyway. Also, it's a fact that any half decent looking woman can get laid any time she likes, while it's not really that simple for men.

TL; DR Women tend to be more picky than men when it comes to who they will sleep with.

It really isn't lying to omit it from your profile or not tell them in the first message. I'm giving you advice about how to go about it on dating sites as someone that does have a disability and has managed to get dates.

A profile encaptulates for people what you are all about, or how you want to present yourself at least. Bear in mind that women on dating sites are highly suspicious, at least until you build up some sort of rapport and they tend to get a lot of mail and will just instantly reject anyone for the most superfishil reasons. I've read threads like these before and they are always whiney and "woe is me." I've posted like that myself and you are unlikely to get anywhere with women if you aren't a confident sort of guy. I bet that my disability gives me more problems than yours, from the way that you're talking about it but I rarely talk about it and frankly, when you've had to live with it for years you get bored talking about it, unless you are an attention whore.

I've even had women asking me why I'm even mentioning it and saying that it's irrelevant because they're not prejudiced. I would say the same about illnesses. Believe me, I've heard all sorts from women on first dates about their problems that they weren't willing to talk about on the internet and I didn't blame them or hold it against them. It's common sense. If you're in a wheelchair you don't waste your time on people that are looking for someone to go rollerskating with.

I've had precicely one woman back out of a date when I told her and she was insane and a liar herself anyway. She's still on here, now claiming to have no children, when she told me that social workers were taking her kids into care and that it was unfair because she supposedly wasn't mentally unbalanced, when it was quite obvious to me that she was.

I'm in a similar position. It's not something I wouldn't let them know about before aranging a date but it certainly isn't the first thing that I would mention. Like it or not, people judge on first impressions and a disability is by definition a negative, although overcoming it can be a positive. Basically, I would see how it goes. Unless you're actually going to meet them it's none of their business really but if they seem genuinely interested you can work it into the conversation and just bring it up at an appropriate point. Also, probably best to downplay it a bit because they really aren't going to know how they feel about it and you until getting to know you in person a bit first, unless they are just prejudiced or super picky.

BTW, where I draw the line is when it sounds fake. Had that happen once with a woman that I was having a bit of slap and tickle with when I asked her to talk dirty to me. This is why porn stars have to be reasonably good actors because if they don't really seem to be into it it can be a big turn off.