I think it annoys a lot of women because they want to be the most important woman in your life and to a certain extent I fit your definition because my mother is good at organising things and I'm not very organised.

I admit it. I don't care as much about things like housework as women do and what tends to happen is that they seen to think that I expect them to do it, when the truth is that you can hardly stop them and pushing a hoover around isn't a priority for me, so they might come into my house and find some dirty dishes and that's enough for them to start an argument about how you're a slob and a mama's boy, rather than just a normal guy that doesn't live in a world of pot poirets and scented candles.

The worst scenario is when you get a woman that tells you that she just wants it to be a casual relationship but she's still really demanding. I had one like that that spent more time texting me and expecting instant replies than she actually spent dating me. It's not always about money but I've had more than one telling me that she never had any credit in her phone and making me pay for all the calls and doing things like texting and telling me when to call her. They can want constant reassurance, or it can be some daft game that they play where they won't sit down and have a proper chat about how the relationship's going but they text you about it all the time. You may only see her at weekends but she still expects you to be at her beck and call whenever she picks up her phone and I don't even like texting.

Well, he's about my age, so I don't see a big problem about taking the guy out for a beer if he's going to let me date his seventeen year old daughter if we get on alright. I just wouldn't tell him that I've actually already nailed her.

Yes. I would say that I was in a relationship with a high maintenance woman. She constantly nagged me about what she expected from a boyfriend and even when I did it it was rarely good enough for her.

She also expected me to fit in with her schedule and come running when she snapped her fingers and I had to put up with these long rambling phone calls from her all the time when she had smoked a joint after her daughter had gone to bed at night. She would go from goofy to paranoid to abusive and I really started to dread those phone calls and at one point it did my head in so much that I ran away for a couple of weeks to get away from her.

I think it's basically a woman that demands a lot of attention and "maintenence" to keep her happy and it can be exhausting and stressful. It was a long time ago and she's got another boyfriend now. I would go out with her again as friends though and if she did become single again maybe because people change and we understand each other more now than we did when she was my girlfriend.

I was in a relationship with a very moody woman with a bad temper and I became afraid of saying the wrong thing and setting her off, although pretty much anything that I said could do it. I suppose it's that walking on eggshells thing that I find difficult and it's not just the old cliche of whether her bum looks big in something.

It would depend on the woman. Some may be really clingy and others can be the opposite. My last girlfriend had this habit of not even calling me for weeks and I wasn't happy about that but confruntations are difficult and it's hard to say to a woman that you're not happy about something like that because it might set off a, "You don't own me." response, or she might just walk out on you and never come back.

There are definetely some women that I would be afraid of getting involved with because I would have doubts about it working out and then having my heart broken. My last girlfriend was like that and I never really counted on it working out and tried to protect my feelings that way but what she put me through was really stressful and upsetting and I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened and trying to move on now but I don't find that easy and although I like to have a woman in my life, relationships that I've been in have been stressful and the heartbreak when it doesn't work out is awful.

Yes. I've been in a relationship with someone that was diagnosed with BPD and I tried to make allowances for the way that she treated me but even though her quirkiness and randomness was what I liked in a way, she totally messed me about and it did my head in the way it all had to be about her and it was all on her terms.

I suppose she was looking for someone that might give her stability or support and what they do when they meet you is to build you up in their mind as their saviour or something but they are setting you up for a fall because you can't possibly live up to their idea of you and they think only in black and white, so you're either perfect or a piece of crap.

I got these phone calls from her when she was in distressed states and it was like she expected me to tell her what to do or something. One time she ran away from hospital during a manic episode and called me and I kept asking her what she wanted to do but she didn't know and she wouldn't get in a taxi or bus to come and see me and I can't drive and couldn't go to her, so I felt a bit inadequate about that. I've got problems of my own and need help with things as well but it can't work unless you're partners and helping and supporting each other.

She tended to make promises about nice things that she wanted to do for or with me but she never kept them and I had to do all of the giving and I went through all sorts of emotions and her "crazy making behaviour" was driving me nuts as well. I'm still trying to deal with the consequences of getting involved with her now. Meeting that girl started a chain of events that resulted in me having a bit of a nervous breakdown recently and the last time I saw her was almost two years ago. It takes two to tango and I saw the red flags and really doubted that it would work out with her but it still started with me meeting what seemed like a really great girl that made me feel good about myself and it's had longterm effects on my life that may never be over, while she's just moved on and doesn't care about how I feel, or maybe even now hates me in her warped mind.

Sometimes it can mean that they don't see you as boyfriend material for them and you're not the sort of guy that they would have a fling or one night stand with because they think you want or deserve more than that.

I tend to think of my "league" as just being my type. Looks don't have much to do with it. I know what sort of women I get on with and I just tend to think of the women that think that they're too good for me as snobs or gold diggers. There are dating sites where you have to put yourself in an income bracket and it's like that. Women undoubtably reject a lot of men purely on that and it says on my profile that I'm a student.

The thing is though that people may have false notions about what league they're in, or think that it's realistic or unrealistic to try for a certain type. When I started doing internet dating at forty I didn't think that I could get dates with women in their twenties, so I may sometimes have messaged them but I never asked them out and it was more that I would just message practically everybody and didn't really expect more than just a chat with them if they did reply. But I've had women that I didn't think would be interested in me asking me out and even making the first move.

Sure though, it was an ego boost when I did actually get lucky with younger women and I'm more likely to contact them now because it turned out that some of them are interested in me and when I'm not getting any action, or nobody that nice wants to talk to me I start to feel less confident about what I can get.

Actually, if a woman told me that she wanted her children to vet me before she could make her mind up about me I think I would probably run a mile in the opposite direction.

When I said "casual" it just means that you are sleeping together but you are dating, rather than living together, or anything like that. Like I said, I was in a relationship where we mostly just saw each other at weekends but we did talk on the phone every night and it was an exclusive relationship and it was serious enough.

Anyway, you may have some idea about meeting a guy and just getting to know each other until you decide you're in a serious relationship, even though you haven't even made love yet and for that you're either going to need a guy that's probably quite religious or conservetive, or maybe someone desperate enough to give it a go with you, even though he's only going to see you a couple of times a month to just presumably have the honour of buying you dinner and taking you to movies or whatever.

I mean, a guy is going to look at his options and he's not getting much chance to get to know you anyway in person, while another woman might have much more time for him. I can only speak for myself personally. I don't know you. If I met you I might think that you were worth getting involved with and I might not. You being a single mother wouldn't bother me and if I really liked you an every other weekend arangement for a while could be alright but I wouldn't call it anything else apart from dating or friendship until it became a sexual relationship and I would get pretty frustrated if I had to keep waiting for two weeks to see you and was still going home alone to pull my plonker after months. Maybe this is just me but I would probably go off you because when I feel atracted to a woman and she keeps rejecting my advances I tend to just start seeing her as a friend and the atraction goes because I suppose it feels like the chemistry's not really there or something.

Well, my sister has used dating sites herself, my brother thinks it's cool that I've managed to pull women half my age on here and my dad thinks that anyone that I date is a tart anyway. My mother thought that it was good that I did this and got dates and girlfriends out of it as well, although because of the way they were she doesn't seem to think that I should keep doing this now and I kind of agree with her about that.

As far as what you say about internet "friends" being no different from real people that you know in the real world goes, I'm afraid that's just bollocks. It's just not the same at all and I don't take anyone that I have only had emails from seriously and certainly don't get emotionally involved with them. I've even told my family about "women" that I've chatted with and told them how I doubt that they're genuine and how they waste your time, mess you about and even try to scam you.

Well, I've dated single mothers and in some ways it's quite good. I mostly just saw my ex at weekends but we spoke on the phone most nights.

"Part time" is kind of another word for casual and that suits plenty of people and you should probably start any relationship as a casual thing without a bunch of instant commitments anyway. A guy should understand that you're not going to introduce him to your kids until you think the time's right and a lot of guys would be a bit nervous about that as well and it is difficult because you know that the kid is probably not going to like you because you're not his dad and it's stepping into a situation where you're likely to be resented as an outsider. Some guys are better with kids than others though.

The main problem that I see with it is that he's not likely to consider it a serious relationship until he's getting more than the ocasional date or phone call. If it was me you would have to sleep with me at the very least before I would even call you my new girlfriend. If you made me wait ages and we were only seeing each other ocasionally I would be likely to expect more out of those dates than I would if we had plenty of time together. You would kind of have to make them really worth looking forward to and bear in mind that this guy could well have other options and women that he could date that he could see more regularly and find out if it's going anywhere quicker than he could with you.

TL; DR There are certainly plenty of men that will date on a part time (casual) basis, at least for a while but if you want a guy to get serious about you you had better make the time you do spend together special and you are expecting him to fit in with what suits you, so you've got to make it an arangement that he's going to be happy enough with as well.

If you want to say that you're male because part of you came from a man you also have to say that you're female. It would make you both gay and not gay, or a bit of both at the same time.

But alright. You are using troll logic to say that you don't want to do something because it's gay. The hidden premise in your argument is that there's something wrong with being gay. I think you need to say more about that if you want your argument to go through.

This is why we don't want the Euro in Britain. It's a poisoned chalice and you can't really blame the Germans for putting conditions on it when they're bailing out Greece. They're basically the major shareholders in the thing.

People that are into this sort of thing tend to think that it's all about having an agreement. You agree on a "safe word". You agree to keep it just your little secret. Somehow that seems creepier to me than an unspoken understanding.

People have the right to change their minds and it's possible and even likely that this "sub" was uncomfortable with the agreement. Could be that she felt that it suited the OP more than it suited her, or it could be that she just decided that she wasn't really into it.

He may see it as his lifestyle and it may just have been experimentation for her. "Hey, what gives with you not wanting to shoot heroin with me anymore? We had an agreement." It's also quite possible that she did it to let him know how she feels when he's having sex with someone else, whether she initially went along with it or not.

The flipside is that in arguments couples sometimes say hurtful things to each other that may or may not be true. The classic one on TV chat shows is telling someone in an argument that it's not their baby, or that you did cheat on them.

I think it's probably more at the start of a relationship when you tend to be cautious about it. It can be anything from not saying what you really think of the music they like to very personal things. Sometimes you can find yourself agreeing with somebody just because you want to get on with them and it may be no big deal really. It often isn't when it's things that members of the opposite sex get worked up about. An argument between my girlfriend and a friend of hers may seem trivial and daft to me but I had better take her side, or see it from her point of view, when she tells me about it.

Possibly you could argue that some "lies" are alright and you can certainly draw a distinction between not saying something that could upset them and total BS, like saying that you tried to call several times when you didn't actually call for weeks. When a girl said that to me it didn't seem like a huge lie but it was a sign that I probably couldn't trust her.

It can be devastating when you find out that someone has been lying to you about something. I found out that someone that I thought that I knew pretty well had been lying to me about something that was a big deal and now because of that big lie I don't know what to believe out of the rest of it. I can't tell what things she meant when she said them and what were just things that she said because she knew that they were things that I wanted to hear. Basically though I suppose that the white lies don't really matter and it's just that when someone really betrays your trust that it becomes an issue and you can develop them.

I suppose that there is a certain hypocrisy in on the one hand, saying, "I'm not giving them sympathy when my problems are worse than theirs" and also saying, "Sorry that I'm more concerned about my own problems than someone else's; even if their problems are worse than mine."

Personally, I tend to reserve my concern for people that I know and that actually give a crap about me. I'm generally unmoved by news stories about terrible things happening thousands of miles away to people that I don't know, or have anything to do with. I think the media just tends to have that effect on people, along with the whole not believing that you can do much about it and we're pretty anesthatised to it all and even pay to see the same sort of stuff at the movies.

It's pretty hard for the media to stir people up about anything unless there's an element of, "This could happen to you" about it. A homeless person in the UK may be a lot better off than someone living in a war zone but he's not going to be that interested in the international political situation and the danger of terrorist attacks when he's living in a cardboard box.

It's all relative and a matter of perspective. Someone's child gets ill and I'm supposed to feel sorry for them but at least they have a child and I don't.

I think that if on a regular date with me she's probably not going to be too bothered if I burp if everything else goes alright. It's more the slurred speach and falling over that can put them off, so I restrict myself to drinking beer on the few first dates and don't really start hitting the hard stuff until it becomes a relationship.

I've done yoga on and off for years and it's not exhausting, like working out with weights and things like that are. I got into it because I was interested in the spiritual side of it though and when I did meditation it seemed to help me get off medication that I was taking for anxiety.

I still find that going to a yoga class when I'm feeling anxious can be good, although it can be hard to get through a class if you're not feeling too good. I'm not currently going to any classes or practicing but I should start practicing on my own at home again at least. It can be a good way to start the day and the point is to quiet your mind and to get rid of bad habits.

That's putting it crudely and it's more esoteric than that but before I met my ex a few years ago I had been clean and sober and doing yoga for quite a while and she used to say what a happy, healthy guy I had seemed then. What I'm not too into about some yoga systems though is that they're all, "Smoking and drinking is bad and you shouldn't do that at all and you should be a vegetarian." They're not all like that though. I smoked a joint with my first yoga teacher.