rotflmao...touche great one..

LMAO.Thats so darn true and quite funny ty...

cauyse your a sweety paper_heart.. ..ty

yeah your ok .. leat cooly says so roflmao.. i agree

HEY SUP LOOK IO CAN EVEN SPELL (REALTY)NOW he he

DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR VERSION OF NICE IS..LOL..EVEN DAHMER THOUGHT HE WAS NICE LOL...FUNNIN GIRL HAVE FUN AND WATCH THE FLICK..

thier the turd goes callin me a nerd again rofl..meanie..

Don't you start itz,lol...how are ya

Right on cooly...

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday.He spends $5000 dollars and feels very good about the results.On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper.Before leaving he ssays to the sales clerk,I hope you don't mind me asking,but how old do you think I am?About 35,was the reply.I'm actually 47,the man says,feeling really happy.After that he goes into MC Donald's for lunch and asks the clerk at the counter the same question.About 29 was the reply.I'm actually 47,the man says,felling extremely happy.Awhile later while standing at a bus stop, he asks a old woman the same question.I'm 85 years old and my eye sight is going.But when I was young,thier was a sureway,of telling a mans age.If I put my hands down your pants ,and play with your balls for 10 minutes,I will be ableto tell your exact age.Since thier was no one around,the man thinks,what the hell and lets the old lady slip her hand downhis pants.10 minutes later the lady said,Ok it's done,you are 47 years old.Stunned the man says, thatwas brilliant,how did you know that?The old lady says,I was behind you in line at MC Donald's.








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YEAH AND MOST OFEM WERE POISON TIPPED ..LOL

HOLD MY BEER THEN LOL

lmao bro,shoulda seen the comments on the nasty valentone slogans one..ohh well..

hey hadn't seen a sick joke in awhile,lol,had to post one must be sicker then i tought,if colly's gonna ralph..lmao..later bro

ohh so funny bro,lmao

This is a story about a couple, who had been happily married for years.The only friction in the marriage,was the husbands habit of farting loudly when he awoke.The noise would wake up his wife,and the smell would make her eyes water,and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off,because it was making her sick.He said it wasn't his fault,he couldn't help it,and that it was perfectly natural.She told him that he should see a doctor, because she was concerned, one day he'd blow his guts out.The years went by,and he continued to rip then out.Then one THANKSGIVING morning she was preparingthe turkey,and he was upstairs sound asleep.She looked at the bowl where she had puyt the turkey innards,and the neck,gizzard,liver,and all the spare parts,then a malicious thought struck her.She took the bowl and went upstairs,where her husband was sound asleep,and gently pulling back the covers,she pulled back the elastic waist band on his shorts,and eptied the bowl of torkey innards and parts,gently into them.Sometime later she heard her husband awaken,with his usual trumpeting and a blood curdling scream,then the sound of frantic footsteps,as he ran to the bathroom.The wife could hardly control herself,as she lay on the kitchen floor lauging,tears in her eyes.After years of torture,she reckoned she had got back at him pretty good.About 20 minutes later,her husband vcamedownstairs in his blood stained underpants,with a look of horror on his face.She bit her lip as she asked him,whatwas the matter?He said honey, you were right.All these years you warned me, and i didn't listen to you.Whatdo you mean,asks his wife?Well you llways told me,that oneday i'd fart my guts out, and today it finally happened.But by the grace of gode, some vaseline,andthese twofingers,I think I got most of them back in.

I have a alibi and a witness ladyblack,it's not mine lmao

A woman goes into a tatoo parlour,and tells the tatoo artist,she wants a tatoo of a turkey,on her right thigh,just below her bikini line.She also wants him to put,HAPPY THANKSGIVING under the turkey.So the guy does it,and it comes out looking really good.The woman then instructs him to put a santa tatoo,with MERRY CHRISTMAS up on her left thigh.So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good too.As the womans getting dressed to leave,the tatoo artist asks,If you dont mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tatoo's on your thighs?Sge says,I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time,that thier nothing good to eat,between THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS.

lol a lawyer.. well i know your no virgin then. fuunin lady

A lawyer maried a woman,who previously had divorced 10 husbands.On her wedding night she told her husband please be gentle,i'm still a virgin.What,said the puzzled groom?How can you be a virgin,If you've been married 10 times?Well husband no#1 was a sales representitive,He kept telling me how great it was going to be.Husband no#2 was in software services,he was never really sure how it was supposed to function,but he said he'd look into it,and get back to me.Husband no#3 was from field services,he said everything check out diagnostically,but he just couldn't get the system up.Husband no#4 was in telemarketing,even though he knew he had the order,he didn't know when he'd be able to deliver.Husband no#5 was a engineer,he knew the basic process,but wanted 3 years to research,implement and design,a new state of the art method.Husband no#6 was from finance and administration,he thought he knew how,but wasn'tt sure it was his job or not.husband no#7 was in marketing,although he had a nice product,he never knew hot to position it.Husband no#8 was a psychologist,all he ever did was talk about it.husband no#9 was a gynocologist,all he ever did was look at it.Husband no#10 was a stamp collector,all he ever did was lick it,GOD I MISS HIM!!But now that iv'e married you i'm really excited!Good said the new husband,but why?Your a lawyer,this time i know im gonna get SCREWED!!!