There is nothing outwardly wrong with either afriQueen22 or Winlei.
These two young ladies are perfect just the way that they are.

Everyday I have a list of a million and one things I'd change about my body; sometimes I just wish I could do a body swap with a Victoria's Secret Angel. But right now, I can't think of anything that inhibits me in any way. Plus, it's taken me a long time to start loving my body. If I were to change anything, I'd have to start that whole process over again.

Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero.

For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence.

The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again.

Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . .




. . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up.

As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own.

Be different... I don't know about the rest of the world but here in SA, guys seem to be following the same script when it comes to chatting to girls. So much so that you can pre-empt what he's going to say before he even says it (I kid you not). Needless to say, these random Tommys and Sizwes are forgotten as soon as they walk away.
Stand out. I'm not saying do something drastic. I mean something as simple as have a normal conversation with a girl, a normal intelligent conversation and then DON'T ask for her number afterwards. You'll stick in her mind because you were not typical. That's just one thing that I know I find refreshing in a guy. We talk, we laugh and then he says goodbye. Next time I see him, I'm comfortable enough to be willing to give him my number. Even then, don't jump straight into heavy relationship talk. Keep it light, simple and let it flow.

Once upon a time I wanted a boob job, lipsuction, a tummy tuck etc. I religioulsy watched Extreme Makeover, Fat Doctor, Supersize vs Siperskinny and any other show that was related to changing your body. And then one day, I was reading and came across this line, "A man who sees ****, does not see cellulite"... It was an Oprah AHA moment for me. Now I'm too busy living to be slouching around in my schlumpa dinkas wishing I too was rich enough to afford a boob job.
Some women may feel they aren't enough for themselves or others, the way they are, and seek to change, decrease or enhance what they have. I'm enough for now. Maybe tomorrow, I'll think differently but today, I'm okay.

Someone to rant and rave to at 4am when the darkness is at its darkest.