Community > Posts By > ChiefPUA

 
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Tue 04/01/08 02:39 PM

I think that I'll probably stick with "indirect game" for the time being. The specific method that we just discussed seems like it has a lot of strengths for the kind of interactions I want to have. One, it helps me to determine whether or not a particular woman is capable of engaging in an intellectual conversation. Two, by using the "neg" technique, I make her want to live up to my expectation of intellectual conversation rather than letting her cut me down for bringing up a "geeky" topic.

It's kind of funny. When a nice guy complains that women don't want to talk to him, friends often console him with the words, "It's her loss." The funny thing is that it really is her loss and this technique seems geared toward letting the woman know that (and that you know it too.)

Dude. You're finally getting it.

NICE! drinker

Your success is practically inevitable at this point.

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Mon 03/31/08 09:33 PM

Well, I went and read Mystery's article on neg theory. I can't say that I won't give it a try, but the ideas presented made me feel rather anxious. It was hard enough for me to get to the point where I could tell somebody something that was completely true and kind. Even just sitting in the safety of my apartment, thinking about "negs" makes me afraid that I'd say something to hurt somebody's feelings.

Mystery Method is just the most popular method out there. You may want to check out some other things, such as "direct game." Direct Game involves expressing more interest up front, but requires a lot stronger frame of confidence...more balls...which is why newbies immediately stick their noses in those indirect game books first. http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/style/guide-to-direct-game.html

In any case, I'd appreciate some additional insight into some of the ideas that were mentioned. The first concept is that of ranking. Mystery wrote that a 10 might need 3 negs in rapid succession while an 8 might just need 2 and not as quickly. What, exactly, constitutes a 10 or an 8? Obviously, personal taste can't be the only factor.

I personally don't use the ranking system. I hate it and I don't even understand it at times. My ranking system has two categories: "I like" and "I don't like." However, I will offer that the 1-10 ranking system is not necessarily based on physical attractiveness. It may seem like it, but it's actually based on the woman's social standing in comparison to everyone else.
If a woman is a "HB10" that means she KNOWS that she is THE SH!T and is always rejecting men who aren't good enough for her like it's breathing. This woman, in accordance to Mystery Method, will need to be negged more so that you can break down her fake social mask. These types of people usually put on a MUCH stronger act to preserve their "high" social status, and negs allow her to put that ridiculous guard down for once so that the two of you can effectively have a genuine connection.

Second, if I don't miss my guess, keen observation seems important here. I don't think I've ever actively noticed a girl's nails before, for example. Observing and then improvising a neg seems like it would be really hard. In the example he gave, 2/3 of the negs were based on her appearance. Would a backhanded compliment of any sort work?

Yes.
Maybe, for example, ask her, "Tell me what you thought about Catch 22." If she's read it and has something to say about it, disagree and play the devil's advocate. If she doesn't have anything to say about it, say, "Huh. You struck me as the kind of lady who'd enjoy smart literature."

That second part is a great neg and shows that you've got this conceptualized the right way, as long as your energy is still positive (no bitter feelings allowed). The first part, however, is not a neg. It's just arguing, and that's bad.
The whole point is to be playful here. At least that's my interpretation of this pickup discipline.
If she actually has something cool to say about Catch 22, pay attention...especially to the EMOTION she is trying to convey. "Zen," a pickup artist author who combined concepts from the PUA community and Zen Buddhism, has a mantra of "find the emotion, feeling, or trait. Notice, admire, relate." That means don't neg. She's being good and following the path you set out in front of her by making a real effort in creating a genuine connection so reward her accordingly happy

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Mon 03/31/08 12:10 PM

chris Cundiff used to pull my hair on the playground everyday in the 4th grade, and i would come home crying, my mom told me it was because he liked me..... She was right he asked me out in the 10th grade....

Hi Sexy, just my imput....

Lily! flowerforyou It's always great to hear your input. Your mom was absolutely right, whether Chris Cundiff knew it or not. Even if he said things like "ewww girls have cooties," and even if he didn't even know it, he liked you.

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Mon 03/31/08 10:16 AM

Okay, let's talk about A2 - Female to Male Interest then. I broached the subject early on in the discussion and I ended up getting a little bit defensive over you advice. I hope that you can forgive me. I think that since then, I've developed a little bit more insight into the matter.

I really don't enjoy holding grudges, and I don't want to be the type of guy that does. :wink: Oh, and I really don't think that it's RIGHT for you to feel apologetic for going through a process of learning a certain art. You NEED to compare a presented reality to your current beliefs and mindsets to be able to move forward in any direction. Otherwise you'd be going nowhere fast.
I was concerned about push/pull requiring dishonesty on my part, but if I haven't yet seen the "real her" then it can hardly be dishonest to express disinterest along with interest. All I will be doing is expressing the ambiguity that really is there.

I couldn't have said it better myself.
Help me figure out HOW to do that, though. As I noted before, sarcasm and subtlety do not come naturally to me. In situations such as these, I am literally forthright to a fault.

One could say that we, as humans, are closest to our most pure and natural state when we are little tiny kids. When we are kids, I don't think we possess a scarcity mentality...there's so much out there in the world to discover! The scarcity mentality is probably the number 1 thing that limits us today as adults in regards to developing relationships. It creates desperation and neediness and we express that through supplication. Little kids don't do this, however. They don't buy each other drinks and gifts and flowers in order to gain each other's approval. They freely express themselves to have FUN.

In A2, I think the most important thing to do is to express your fun side...even if it may come off as "mean." The little boy on the playground is pulling on the little girl's pigtails. Well, guess what? That just means he likes her and wants to play with her, but he isn't supplicating because he doesn't feel like he NEEDS anything from her out of desperation.

Believe it or not, I pull girls' hair laugh laugh laugh
It works like a charm, I swear.

If you don't want to get that hardcore, just look into neg theory. Mystery came up with it. Also check out David Deangelo's concept of Cocky and Funny. And, as always, feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

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Mon 03/31/08 10:04 AM

A friend of mine asked me about this and I didn't have the answer to give her

When your going out with a guy and he refers to his racecar as his other girlfriend. Then says he is spending his time between the you and the car, with a sly smile. Then says he doesn't like to share.

Just for the record NOT ME!

That's not even a question.

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Sun 03/30/08 02:22 PM

One, I believe that people are conditioned to assume that I have a selfish motivation for behaving that way. Two, I believe that people are so wound up in their patterns of defensive self-preservation that kindness feels dangerous to them because it exposes a vulnerability in a social armour/facade designed to deflect unkindness.

You're absolutely right. This is why "nice guys finish last" is such a common mantra throughout western culture.

This is why the "Attraction" phase is before the "Comfort" stage. In comfort - by the Mystery Method, that is - you're going to be exposing some vulnerabilities and connecting with her on a deeper level, but you have to earn each other's trust before any of that happens.

The Attraction phase serves to quickly and effectively push all the bullsh*t formalities to the side by plowing through a playful breaking-down of her fake mask. Since it's playful, though, it's nonthreatening.

The problem "nice guys" have is that they want to jump right to Comfort without playing the Attraction game to set the stage for it. It's like when a band starts playing their show without having advertised it, and without having set up the lights and monitors properly. It just won't be a good show because of these logistical failures, no matter how good of a band they are musically.

This analogy applies to you and other "nice guys" in many other ways, too. Plenty of "nice guys" are genuinely AWESOME people on the inside that any girl would LOVE to spend time with. However, they all set up a logistical failure for themselves by skipping the Attraction phase. tsk tsk.

If you got your hands on the Venusian Arts Handbook or The Mystery Method (same thing, basically), pay careful attention to the Attraction phase. Also check out David Deangelo if you haven't already. That guy is all about attraction.

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Sun 03/30/08 12:56 PM
When he's being Mr. Nice Guy, he's being disingenuous, and you know this. He thinks he's "building rapport" or some other fake crap when he's calling you "family" but all he's doing is expressing his desperation.

When he's being disingenuous, call him out on it. Break his pattern.

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Sun 03/30/08 03:02 AM

I have a question for you gentlemen. From what I've seen, a lot of pickup relies on a combination of conversational rhythm and emotional momentum to fascinate a woman. In most cases, the intended result is physical intimacy.

Yes, you're absolutely right, but it's more like the natural result from the conversational and emotional flow you create leads to physical intimacy (or a tension to move toward physical intimacy) regardless of predetermined intent. That's just human nature.

As I've mentioned in the past, this is not an acceptable outcome for me. I appreciate the ability to approach a woman more confidently, but I have moral apprehension about using even marginally manipulative means to achieve physical intimacy (not even so much as a makeout.)

I'll tell you right now that men who use pickup with a "manipulation" mentality usually fail. It's not the right way to go about things. A good PUA understands that you can only control yourself, not other people. It's just that if you can develop yourself in a beneficial way through the pickup arts, you will become your "best self," and expressing your best self will inevitably attract others to you (whether you like it or not :tongue:
Suppose that instead of using pickup to entice a woman into physical intimacy, I wanted to entice her to do something else, like play a game of chess (or some equally improbable pursuit.) How much of pickup relies on sexual cues to maintain momentum? Or is asking how to use pickup to get a girl to play chess just trying to use the pickup tool in the wrong way?

If you "express your best self" as I have stated previously (it's all about authenticity, man), women will "like you for who you are." If you express yourself with passion you will become a vortex that sucks other people into your reality, and they will LOVE you for it. They will LOVE the experience. If chess is something you really genuinely enjoy, women won't be able to help but to feel a desire to be a part of that joyful experience. Yes, they will want to play chess with you.

Things like the Mystery Method may seem like an artificial outline for the purposes of seduction on th surface level, but any aspiring PUA needs to look deeper to find the true meaning. The Mystery Method isn't an outline for manipulation; it's an outline that describes a natural process. Unfortunately, most guys are out of touch with that natural process of courtship, influenced by mind-f*cking social programming such as treating anything with long hair and boobs are something sacred and higher than yourself.

I was talking to one of my friends earlier today and he stated that he believed in chivalry. I said, "that's cool, but why?" Eventually, as we dug deeper, even though he told me that he would buy a drink for a girl he enjoyed the company of, he admitted that he would not buy a drink for one of his guy friends if he was enjoying company.

That's a double standard. It's not being true to yourself and therefore you are not "being yourself" by buying drinks for women. You are especially not "being your best self" if you aren't living in a fairly consistent alignment with your values.

I believe in chivalry, too, but in a different way, for different reasons. It's obvious that most guys follow a code of "chivalry" because they think it would impress women and therefore give them more of a chance to get laid, but I believe in expressing compassion for EVERYONE regardless of race, gender, economic standing, or any differences. This state of authentic consistency is something every PUA ultimately strives for. It's becoming "natural" at this art.

As you delve more into this discipline, ephraimglass, you'll get a better understanding of these concepts and you won't be so attracted to the perception that it's all about those concepts of "manipulation" that make pickup look so flashy and cool. :tongue:

So, yes. You can use these "tricks" to get women to play chess with you. I hope you find a woman who can beat you, though. Then you'll know you found a special person that challenges you to grow and mature with your passions that make you who you are.

...unless you don't actually like chess. Lying bastard :tongue:

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Thu 03/27/08 07:43 AM
How many times do I have to tell you, theels?

http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/56322

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Sun 03/23/08 01:02 PM

For anyone interested, casting for season 2 of VH1's The Pick-Up Artist has started. Go to pickupartist2casting.com for more information.

CRAP
haha at first I was like "there's no way in hell I'd ever want to be on that overdramatized PUA-bastardizing show, no matter how much I liked watching it laugh" but then I was like "Spoon totally made us Asians look bad and I could fix the Asian image up a bit..." then it said you needed to be 21 to audition. Damn.
Makes sense since most bars are friggin 21 and over. goddammit.

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Fri 03/21/08 05:06 AM

Hey Chief, have you heard of this Chris Matthew guy? He sent me a friend request on myspace. I guess he's trying to be the new pick-up guru with his own e-book and all. I have to say, I was rather unimpressed with what he's offering.

I just googled him and saw his myspace.
YAWBG. ugh.
If there's any "new guru" in the scene, I'd have to give that title to Mark Redman. He offers a pretty fresh perspective on College Game and how it differs from the regular cold approach pickup.
My favorite "new" guy, though, has to be Max Weiss, who goes by the PUA name of Zen. He wrote this book "The Zen of Meeting Women" and in it he combines the principles of Zen Buddhism and pickup arts. As a Taoist, I must say that it's pretty f*cking rad. It's only available in paper form at the moment, but in my opinion it's totally worth coughing up the $20 for it. I actually wrote a review for it, which you can find at PUA Forums and/or realpuas.com.
Are you on any pickup related forums, WhiteSox?

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Tue 03/18/08 09:56 AM
Edited by ChiefPUA on Tue 03/18/08 09:56 AM
No, it doesn't mean that. That's total crap. Seriously.

There is NO SUCH THING AS "He/she is JUST not into you." There is no "just," because "just" implies that the reason behind the emotion is an uncontrollable divine force or something that dictates emotions outside of our control, when in reality that can EASILY be changed by a simple change of language patterning, but I won't get into that here. My point is that anything that "just is" is total bullsh!t.

And another thing...the whole phone call thing... that sh!t NEVER means ANYTHING. Here's the truth: most guys just FORGET to call the numbers they collect from girls...or they just chicken out because they confuse their nervous excitement with FEAR.

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Mon 03/17/08 08:03 PM
Reticular Activation System

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Mon 03/17/08 06:44 PM

Where you moving to?

lol

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Mon 03/17/08 03:52 AM
It is my belief that most people have good hearts.

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Mon 03/17/08 03:41 AM
haha that's quite an entertaining metaphor, but I wholeheartedly disagree with the meaning behind it.

"Staying on your toes" is pretty much the opposite of "being yourself."

In any genuine relationship, the people involved should relax and be their best self without supplicating to each other. If they stayed on their toes, there will always be an unhealthy tension between them that will drive them toward neediness and mental strain. Relationships should bring out good feelings, not stress.

Oh, and don't give me that "I think your advice is bullsh!t because you are a single guy on a dating site too" crap. I'm single because I like being single. I've been in both healthy and unhealthy relationships before.

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Thu 03/13/08 05:18 PM

laugh My computer broke almost a month ago, I finally get it back, and somehow this thread is still going.

lmao it's cuz i made it rise from the dead

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Thu 03/13/08 07:40 AM

pua...shame on you

oh sh!t i got caught laugh

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Thu 03/13/08 01:26 AM
the girl of my dreams is the sweetest girl
of all the girls i know
each sweet coed like a rainbows trail
fades in the afterglow
the blue of her eyes and the gold of her hair
are a blend of the western sky
the moonlight beams on the girl of my dreams
she's the sweetheart of sigma chi

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Thu 03/13/08 01:21 AM
the suuuuuuuuuuun will set for yooooooooouuuu

um... la la la

:tongue:

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