TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jacka$$?"

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A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

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A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

well said, i wish i had fiends like that.

-Love is what we never find when we're looking, never have when we need-it, and never touch it, til its gone....

*huh, never thought of it that way. that actually makes sense. thanks for dropping that knowledge on me. and if ya don't mind i might incorporate that into one of my writes later on down the road. because i can't think of a better way to word it.

what makes love, love?
its just two people that kiss and hug
and when their gone, you miss them much
and you miss their touch
but when she's mad, she bit<hs so much
your fists clinch up
and your muscles tense up
and ya can't make sense of
how this is love
its just 2 people that Fu<k
it goes no deeper than luck
if they get stuck together, in the same rut
and put up, with each other til their brains bust
and ya see it for what it is, insane lust
and head games plus
pain that drains both of us
thought there was no-one as close as us
so here's a toast to us
as i boast to us
how our relationship is a joke to us
hell, its a joke to most
who know us both
and those who know me best
can tell, I'm always stressed
pacing the hallways pressed
facing the pain in my chest
tracing the vein in my wrist
with a blade for kicks
chasing my dreams and $hit
but since I'm in "love"
i gotta give em up
and give my love, my life
but that's what love is right
i do all that, yet you still love to fight
despite, the fact i work all day,and half the night
just to treat my family right
and keep my family tight
provide food, water, and light
keep these damn diapers in stock
and the fridge full after i shop
wish i could manipulate the clock
so I'm not late for work
cause my boss is a jerk
still need to iron my shirt
today I'm gonna get fired for sure
I'm so tired i hurt
but, I'm a fighter for them
and a provider for her

i appreciate all the positive feedback. I let my oldest son Marino read this earlier and he lost it. and it made me realize how far we have come as a family even though my kids don't live with me anymore and i'm no longer with their mom. I wrote this, based on everything he told me about what happened that day. he was only 8 years old when he had to suffer through that experience, but believe it or not there was some good that came from it. Since that day, Marino and i have had such a positive relationship and i honestly believe that if i had died that day, i would have went to hell for hurting them so bad. it eats me up that i could have been such a irresponsible person. Thats why in most of the stuff i write, i point out my flaws and my wrong doing instead of still pretending i was a good person, i guess its my way of being accountable for my actions. thanks for reading.

to be honest, i wish the stuff i wrote were just stories. But, the sad fact is everything i write involving my children is all true. I wrote all of this stuff to rip me to pieces everytime i read it. so i don't forget how i felt when i wrote it. and so it reminds me of how I've grown as a person. I have 3 boys and they have had difficult lives. but i use that as motivation to learn from my mistakes, and be a better person for them.

october 8, 2009 through the eyes of my oldest son.


Marino bub, go tell daddy i said
breakfast is ready, time to get out of bed

ok mom,

Daddy, mommy said get up
daddy, get up, thats what she said
come on dad, I'm gonna jump on the bed
i know that makes you mad,
when i jump on the bed, doesn't it dad?
daddy, daddy come on wake up
daddy quit playing, get up
dad, come on, i said breakfast is ready
daddy, daddy, come on wake up
your starting to scare me daddy wake up!
daddy stop playing! your scaring me wake up!
please daddy, please wake up!
why are you doing this? just wake up!

Marino, buddy, whats wrong why are you crying?
mommy, daddy wont wake up!
I tried like you said, i even jumped on the bed
mommy go wake him up, he's scaring me mom
mommy daddy looks sick, and he won't wake up!

Joe, get up hun
Joe wake up, Your scaring your son
Joe, come on wake up,
Joe, JOE! oh god, no, Joe hun wake up
Oh god, joe don't this, Joe hun, wake up
MARINO!, get the phone ,
dial 911
Joe, babe, please, please wake up
just open your eyes if you can hear me!

here mom, here's the phone
the lady on the phone wants to know whats wrong!
why won't daddy wake up?
Marino go wait in the livingroom!
hello? I need an ambulance, my husband won't wake up!
please hurry! his lips are blue!
he has a drug habit, all his pill bottles are empty, oh god!
Joe, how could do this to us?
damn you! how could you do this?

Mom! the ambulance is here! let them in mom!
tell them to help my daddy!

Marino, get dressed
were gonna meet daddy at the hospital
mommy, why wouldn't my daddy wake up?
i even it said nice, i said, daddy please wake up.
But he wouldn't, is he sick? is that why he's going to the hospital?

Yeah buddy, daddy's sick, he's real sick.
mommy why are you crying? your making me cry!
I'm crying cause i don't like it when your daddy's sick

mom, there's a doctor, go talk to the doctor
ask him if we can see dad! tell him i want my daddy now!

Mrs. Eldridge? your husband is gonna live
but, he overdosed on prescription narcotics
he's not out of the woods yet
there is permanant respitory damage
you and your son can go see him for a few,
but he has a long road ahead of him

Daddy! your awake now! daddy you scared me!
oh god Joe, how could you? I thought we lost you.
Daddy, mommy was crying, I cried too dad. we don't like it when your sick.

Marino, give daddy and i a few minutes to talk
ok mom but only a few, cause i gotta talk to dad too, ya know

Joe what the F*,k is wrong with you?
you were dead when your son found you!
was it worth it? was your F*<kin buzz worth it?
how many pills did you take this time Joe? 10, 20?
how F*<kin many? tell me!

Daddy, I just heard what mommy said! is it true?
did you take pills again? they weren't yours were they?
you weren't sick were you? were you! don't lie to me daddy!
what do you always tell me? huh dad?
you don't take pills unless they are yours! and a doctor gives them to you!
what if the ambulance people couldn't help you?
you would be dead right now daddy!
daddy, I love you so much!! please don't do that again
ok dad? me and mommy won't be mad anymore ok?
just promise us ok? right mom?
tell daddy we won't be mad anymore, mom tell him!
see dad were not mad anymore, i told you dad.
me and mommy were just so scared,
all i wanted was for you to come have breakfast with us dad
thats it, but its ok, your ok now,
and your not gonna do that again, so we can have breakfast together tomorrow, ok dad?
daddy we have to go, the doctor says you need rest,
I love you dad, mom loves you too
she is just too upset to come tell you
bye dad, remember were having breakfast together tomorrow, don't forget.

oh, lol. well, my bad.

right before she, divorced me
she implored me, be more adoring
quit distorting, the final story
and don't extort me, or report me
for ignoring your warning about
snorting morphine, or aborting
our courtship, i retorted
in court with, how i afforded
two divorces, and a mortgage
your doing back flips off of porch's
cause i paid off child support with
money i received from my dads unfortunate
demise, your remorseless he died
this is horse $hit, you lied
your having intercourse with some guy
simply because of the Porsche's he drive's
so why do I, have to lose my pride?
and divide, my possessions between you and I?
your already screwing some guy
so in lieu, of doing what your doing
what not just screw up his life
the way you chewed up my spine
removing the knife, is proving a fight
can't tell if I'm doing it right
i got stabbed in the back, but i hope your doing just fine
now its due time, to introduce us
to all your excuses, on why your man's abusing
the fruit, i helped to produce us
so tell that loser, to come face his accuser
Imma erase this intruder, cause my babies faces are cuter
their mommy's place is, to protect them same faces
from bruises or abrasions, caused by that brainless Caucasian
who remains nameless, cause my aim is
patient, its gonna render his skull vacant
i know they are all waiting
on daddy, to take his body and break it
then go on vacation, while police are on station
wanting to know, why his body was placed there
or why the killer took his face and erased it
with punch's hard enough to take his neck and displace it
and whats left of the face is,
covered with bruises and abrasions
as a final reminder, of what never, to do to my babies
and as for you young lady, never choose a dude over our babies
cause i will be waiting, to do what i previously stated
no matter who your new mate is
ain't no man gonna taint what i created
and it ain't gonna be debated
remember my warning verbatim


it's ********, my kids are in danger
because, of his abusive anger
this dude's a fu<kin stranger
throwing shoes or choosing a hanger
to hit them with, taking my children's innocence
refusing to conclude it, even when it's bent
that's when i step in it then
Daddies pumped up defending them
rendering him indigent
empty his pockets, and giving his windows tint
I get beligerant, and ignorant
when my kids, hate the lives they live
or hate the guy she's with
I'm their guardian, I'm part of their heart again
they come to me a crying mess,
and it fu<ks with that muscle inside my chest
i destest the bets, cause i can't invest with debt
I've never been bested yet,so step up and test the best
my children are protected, so hate is detected
when they are dis-respected,

my bail is-$905.00

I rolled over in my sleep, and hit the wall
when you were there, i did not fall
as i rise from bed,
I miss the kisses, on your forehead
and the I love you's, that once were said
I cracked a joke, and no-one laughed
I took two tokes, no need to pass
I made some coffee, poured just one glass
that's how i know, you left my A$$
I had faith at first, without a doubt
I went to church, and prayed out loud
I hope that makes, my children proud

I went to the bar, all by myself
proposed a toast, to my health
thank you lord, for the cards I'm dealt
and damn I'm bored, with the feelings felt
my pen's a sword, to fight my guilt
I wear my pain, just like a quilt

I'm in my house, the porch lights on
to guide your way into my arms
I already know your not close, to coming home
and I'm still all alone
this is how i know, your really gone

I lock the door, and take a pill
to make me chill,
I don't like they way, they make me feel
this is how i know, this nightmare's real

I grab a pillow, and a sheet
remove the shoes, from my feet
my mind is tired, and my bodies beat
cause your not here, i cannot sleep
I'm up all night, just to weep
just one more pill, a mid-night treat
as i sit still, in your favorite seat

I cover up, in my quilt of pain
I turn my guilt, into a game
where i stand, out in the rain
I'm the only one, that's playing
cause no matter what, you were not staying

I hear your having, a decent life
about to be, some creep's wife
who is already married, and makes you cry
so as you lye, with him tonight
I hope you feel, your choice was right
Isn't that why, you took flight
so you could do, much better than I
I ask you now, to wipe your eyes
do not stop, until their dry
get some rest, and know that I
sent a prayer for you, into the skies

Give love to those, who have done you wrong
say a prayer, for them to carry on
try to make short, a night that's long
fight your fears, til the break of dawn
and give respect, to a love that's gone

what does it mean to be flesh and blood?
would it mean the same, if we were made of dirt and mud?
would we still be so quick to judge?
would we still have such deranged hate and love?
would everyone act, the same way everyone does?
if everyone was made of dirt and grime,
would it be worth the time to have ties that bind?
if we were all the same, would we still feel shame?
if we were all the same, would we be divided by name?
or age or race? would i still just be another nameless face?
if so, would the worlds hate be erased?
or would this world still be a disgraceful place?
if no-one was better, than those they owed
or even their debtor
if there was no other, better than his brother
even if he lived in the gutter, and spoke with a stutter
would people still poke fun, and say things in gest
because of the emotions they keep repressed
inside their chest, some have nothing
while some are blessed
some are care free, while some are stressed
what would it take, to erase the hate?
or at least give hate a tasteful break?
what would have to change, who would have to speak
on behalf, of the meek and weak?
American, Canadian, German, Polish or Greek?
rich, popular, disgraced or geek?
we will never be same, we will never be free from shame
we will never look past personal gain
we will never acquire the ability to admire the plain
black, white, brown, or yellow
can you admire a simple mellow fellow?
or does everyone want the WOW factor?
no-one is themselves, everyone's an actor'
so here, on Martin Luther King day
lets quit playin the games we play
unite as a people, and lead the way
so our seed, does not feed off of our hate and greed
we are the same when it comes to the way we bleed
the words we read, the tears we use to grieve
but we all differ, in our daily deeds.

wow, what a lucky guy.

I'm so tired of the $hit that I write
so tired of fighting the fights that I fight
staying up all night, crying cause I hate my life
always doing drugs, trying to escape my life
tired of living in the past
tired of boo hooing, cause my girl left my a$$
because of the life we lived
I tried to cover it up, with kisses and hugs I'd give
thinking our love would out weigh the drugs that we did
the feelings i hid
and the sad emotions i had
from being a lousy boyfriend, and a real bad dad
It didn't take long to erase the smile on my face
you said you needed your space
as you and the boys drove away from our place
as my heart began to race
my emotions changed from sadness to hate
anger to regret
I can't believe i haven't committed suicide yet
but my mind has been set
i deserve better than death
I gotta figure out how to pick up the pieces that are left
put em back together, and make my better, my best
put some life back inside the left side of my chest
slow down take a deep breath, give my mind a rest
it will be a blessing to become a little less depressed
I thought it took the love of a woman
to enable me, to stand as man
but now i see, its completely up to me
on whether i can or i can't
so turn me down with every call, from me you get
burn me down with every ball of fire you spit
bruise my body with every last hit
addicted from all the pills that we split
physical and metaphorical pain inflicted with all of it
but, i think as i sit
about this bottomless pit
as I break the mirror in my pill crushing kit
my fear becomes clearer as I'm busting it to $hit
the straw, the card I'm done with this $hit
I wasn't alone even when she left with my kids
I still had a friend in all the drugs that i did
but, now my last friend, I have thrown from my life
along with this weed, the grinder and pipe
i lay down to sleep, this very night
i doze off with a smile, cause my eyes remain dry
i know when i wake, with every breath that i take
even in the smiles i fake, that now through everything
I no longer hate, and it truely feels great
it wasn't too late
to learn from the mistakes that i made
I unloaded my gun, and i raised from a most certain grave
thats right, i raised up
and i thank god i never gave up
some say its luck
but when i dismissed my pride
and looked to the skies through blood shot eyes
my most common disguise
and i prayed without having to lie
about wanting a new life
i found the courage to try

April, lirpa, love of my life
sweetie, baby, candy for my eyes
girlfriend, just friends, future ex-wife
you've been, all them, most of my life

when it comes to names, I've always had 3
Joseph, is the man, that everyone sees
Joe,is the man, you can't stand me to be
Joey, is the man, that sets your soul free

Joseph is the man, for the public eye
a well dressed, and intelligent guy
who handles stress, with an irrelevant sigh
and does well, not to dwell on the devil inside

Joe is the guy, that shows without even having to try
He arrives, on the sly
and there is no way to describe, the bad vibe
or the look in his eyes, its a look of despise
that Joe denies, he even supplies
believing he's right, preceding the fight
Joe, really is an UN-believable guy
he is believing an UN-conceivable lie
while watching the love of his life
cry, and die on the inside, his pride deprives
his "would be wife" of a good clean life
she's forced to take flight
he knows it ain't right
but, he knows, because of the anger he shows
they would be married and divorced, in the same night

but, somewhere deep within
Joe ends, and Joey begins
Joey has got sense
he falls to his knees and repents
for his sin's against
the mother of his kids, the woman god sent
to give him a gift
of love, and deliver him from
a river of scum, and the bitter person he's become
he can't even stand on his own
even though he is grown
it's all he has known
due, to NO fault of his own
no-one had shown, him an UN-broken home
or spoken to him, in a respectful tone
so now that he's grown
and has sewn, seeds of his own
he passes it on
he only knows, what he has always known
he is nothing at all, cause he is all alone
and he doesn't know, who should go
Joseph, Joey, or Joe

I know what ya mean, I was out of work for a long while. yet i still had a family to support. I did quite a few things i am not proud of to make ends meet. but whats a person to do?.

thank ya, thank ya