Since there is SO much material available out there I've decided to assemble one resplendent prototypical exhibit of inanities and malapropisms comprised of actual quotes collected from online profiles and missives everywhere.

Any and all input, intentional or otherwise, is appreciated.



Here is a beginning, a seed if you will, from Lex's brain.

I don't know what to write here. I'm a fun person who likes to have fun. I'm easy-going and laid-back, and I love my friends. I like to go out or stay in. I would like to meet someone who doesn't play games and who is looking for something meaningful. Anything else you want to know, you'll have to ask.



So what's YOUR favorite bit of stupidity? Quotes from online profiles anywhere and everywhere are welcome.

And NO identifying stuff from anyone's profile on here! Generic absurdities are fair game.

No spelling errors, AD. Not realistic.

" I dunno what to right here about me, so you'll have to ask"...

"A nice guy who does not want 2 finish last or alone"

"honesty and open mindednaess is who i am and what im looking 4"


That is it.

or the ever popular "will fill this in later"

Did you steal my profile?

I like to get vedos and wach them. There like moves on tape.

I make them... you don't thaik go to youtub, Montana?

Are you drunk? lol

COME ON! That isn't really from someone's profile is it?!?!?

That has to be from a SNL skit or SOMEthing!!

"I like to take long walks on the beach at sunset. Clothing is optional. . . unless people can see me and arn't blind . . .and they turn around running and screaming in horror. . . then i put the robe on and sit on the beach. . .until the police arrive"

Wouldn't surprise me a bit if it was real

No. I don wach womens all you womens are the same. You big teeze, Lil.

Ok. I cheated a LIL bit. Those were words from my friend, Bill.

I like these types:


Hey, I'm a really nice guy, looking for "the one".


Followed by an email to me saying as followed:


Wanna do it?




Love those!

One of my all-time favorites (and yes, this is a real one from another site):


"I think this is a great way to meet different people I hope it works."

Haven't really seen profiles I consider truly dumb. Weird, maybe, but not dumb. I've seen the "I'll fill it in later" ones, though. Not really weird, just interesting, I guess. Just different. But that's what makes the world go round, in some respects, right?

"I may look a little weird to you......"

Well, now that you mention it....Since you are a man dressed like a woman.