"speaks" "reads" ..how rude....feisty wench I'm going to get you for that ...oops sorry ..ok I won't post here anymore...sorry

lemme just go to the hospital and get those cancer patients in a self help program

Ya know the hardest thing for me was giving up those PPT's. I had to walk out on alot of friends because they still used, had to leave behind all those old hang out spots. 5 years clean & driving by those old hoods still bring up my cravings. I had to cut out a bit of tv too, saw a special on hbo about crank that actualy filmed people using, I had to change the channel immediatly. That's been the hardest thing in the world for me, and some advice for anyone trying to get clean, remember, it's ok to be weak, self strength will only get you so far & there's loads of wisdom to be found at good meetings;^]

Congrats... to u all who have overcome ur addictions... it is not easy and it is a one day at a time event.... I pray u continue to find the strength and will to overcome all the triggers u may face....

Is it a disease?? I am not sure. Of the mind? Maybe. It is physical as well.

Cancer is in many cases preventable. Some, is happenstance.

Addiction is preventable. But once began....it runs amok.

Kat

listen... i'm not at all trying to lessen you lot's victory over addiction. if anything, my way of thinking is better imo. you were responsible for your addictions and your actions just as you are now. you have beaten something that's hard. you yourself and noone else. you've shown that you have the strength to overcome.

don't cheapen it by saying it was anything but you

Yes...it was me. But not by myself.

I know where you are coming from my friend. I once was you. I once felt and spoke the same way.

Thank you for being here and speaking your mind.

Kat

ha, you telling me to stfu? lol

STFU????

shut the .... up

No...Would not tell you to do that. Others opinions teach me. Remind me.

Kat

There is a book called the DSM - Diagnositic Statistical Manual.
It is the tool by which Dr.'s and insurance companies get their diagnosis. It lists all the diseases. Addiction is a disease in that book.

Why thank you kind brother, Jonlaw. I will keep bouncing back in every now & then. I just wish I could help those that are self-centered. know who I mean?lol

Just thought I'd come & share one last thing. This was a ramble prose I wrote on my final benge.

It's the meth..
It consumes my soul, unable to rest, unable to eat, it will surely be the death of me. This meth use has gone to far, I know this yet I do nothing. On my third day now, by the second I already cannot hold down fluids. Am I haunted by chest pains & a heartbeat faster than three beats a second. Yet it will not seem to take the life of me, possibly a subconcious decision in hopes for that reason, I suffer for my loves & the tinfoil is running out. I must get more, I often think "what've I got to trade", even though I know deep inside that it is all but my soul that is being traded. And I ask not God to save me as God will help those who help themselves, I have failed. Hello, my name is Timothy and I am an addict....

Respectfully Dead,
~Timothy

There is true insanity from the mind of an addict, trying to get high but feeling miserable instead & still doing more and only remembering how "good" it was later. Nobody ever won anything worth having by themselves, We didn't win a revolution without France, you have to put pride aside & take the help when you need it inorder to survive with this disease. Make no mistake, my addiction wants to kill me, and thanks to NA & AA we have a scientificaly effective method of getting into recovery. It's peer support and a set of guidelines for avoiding temptation, it really does work if you work it;^]

This is one of mine with another a few years ago sitting in jail. It has since been in institutions and jails all over.
I believe it is also on the net.=================================================================================

RE READ THIS. THIS WAS A REWRITE.

This is one of mine with another a few years ago sitting in jail. It has since been in institutions and jails all over.
I believe it is also on the net.
Oops....
forgot the rewrite on top.====

So, you want to get high. Well, then come here, and listen up. I"ll tell you a story thats both the TRUTH and a LIE. It could be LIFE and it could be DEATH. Ill let you make up your own mind while you read the rest. I'ts never too early but it could be too late. For life is a journey if you dont take the BAIT.-----------------------------

Depressed? Overweight? Lonely? Maybe ....... tired? Well come here now my friend, it's time to get WIRED!!
Hello there....... how are you? Life can be difficult, or just downright boring. Thats why I'M here, to keep you from snoring, My name is Miss Crystal and I seem quite appealing. But please let me warn you.......... with whom YOU are dealing. For I will SEDUCE you and make YOU my SLAVE. I will fill you're thoughts with anger, frustration, SUICIDE and dismay. I'VE SENT BIGGER MEN THAN YOU TO THEIR GRAVE! You think you could never become a disgrace? Or end up addicted to chemical waste?? I'LL become what you breathe with one inhalation.........Then soon in your bloodstream.........( I am the master of temptation), and once in your veins, you will realize Im much better than weed or cocain. But you will need LOTS of money. I'm not a cheap habit. So go find some cash, and reach out and grab it. You'll swindle your MOTHER, just for a buck! And soon you will become vile and corrupt. I'll have you robbing and stealing and pawning, for my NARCOTIC CHARM. And you'll never be happy without me in your arm. The day that you realize what a monster you've become; you may solomley swear to leave me alone. Are you CRAZY?! INSANE? You think YOU'RE gifted? NO WAY, MOTHER "UCKER!! I'VE GOT YOU ADDICTED!!! The chronic fatigue. The deep.......
dark........depression. Coming down can be maddening. Yet, it teaches no lesson. SICKNESS.......DEPRESSION......... SHAME.........
My name is Miss Crystal-------Are you sure you wanna play my game?


Kat

Be sure to re read on top.

Isn't it amazing what can come from jail?

THE LIFE
This is the life, if you don't say "nope" and you've dedicated you're life to dope.
Whether you snort, slam or smoke a glass dic. You've sold you're soul to something really SICK.
You don't notice, but you're life will change. You'll become scarey, and something strange.
People offer you food, thinking of you're condition.
They see you all torn up from malnutrition.
Once again you pass the food on the table, and go to another issue, for now you are able.
You spin around town thinking you are cool.
Puck what they think, you're nobody's fool.
But one by one, people leave you alone.
Their starting to see the monster you've grown.
First it's you're friends, you're kids, you're husband or wife............ you're convinced you
don't need them trashing you're life.
Then one day you realize they are all part of a conspiracy.
You shake that thought and do another blast.
Thinking and wondering, how long will this last?
What once was days now have no length.
You're habits roll on growing in strength.
Now you get a brainstorm and think you should deal.
Now---------The Sheit just took a turn.
You've jumped into the fire and started to burn.
At first you're shaken and taken, and treated like a lame.
But before long you're hip to the game.
First thing you realize and this is a must. Is that you are the only only one that you can trust.
Now all you're time is spent making rounds.
First quarters, grams, then ounces and pounds.
Now on to the last chapter of the book.
Ha! You decide you're gonna be a cook.
You know in you're heart it's gonna be trouble.
Sitting in the lab watching the bubble.
Now things in the life are too freaking intense.
You think what happened? It doesnt make sense.
Then one night you're sitting and minding the store.
When 16 punk cops come crashing through the door!
They slam you down with their feet in you're chest.
And say "Hello stupid" You're under arrest!
You know it's all over when you get to court.
There's 15 informants on you're report.
While you walk the yard you have time to reflect, on how your life has become so wrecked.
Then suddenly you have flashes like a neon sign..........hey there brother, want another line?
Suddenly you realize in a world of strife.
The price is heavy for living " the life"


Kat

aint is in the dictionary

Just stopping by to give Jon a huge hug......Thanks for the vent yesterday it did a world of good......It amazes me how the Lord knows exactly when you need something and in your path it goes.

Thanks

"


You have to look further than your ego my friend

"


Thank you hope you stick around and share.