Previous 1
Topic: French kiss then ghost?
jinster's photo
Wed 08/07/19 10:19 PM
Met a woman online- 1st date brief, 2nd date 7hrs which ended up us making out/groping/french kissing on the beach. We were vague about setting up the next date so i flat out said i want to see her again and as a response she just grabbed me and kissed me hard.

I took this as a strong yes.

However on the follow up text she says she's too busy to meet me in the immediate future, and that she's not ready for a relationship- which she told me in person even before we started kissing.

Ok, so she is career oriented and busy, that much is certain.

And I already asked her out twice and got a no, like so:
-are you busy this weekend?
yes, trip overseas
-can i try asking you next week and the week after?
i am being realistic, i won't have time in the immediate future because of my schedule

Ok, The sensible me should write this off but I never had someone disappear on me after all that kissing.

So what do you think is going on and how should I approach this?

I'm thinking just a light text a week from now, along with asking her out that weekend, and then probably drop it completely.

Freebird Deluxe's photo
Wed 08/07/19 10:37 PM
Forget her

no photo
Wed 08/07/19 10:43 PM
Forget her.

Rock's photo
Wed 08/07/19 11:06 PM
Sounds like she wanted sex.
You were a dud.
She could forget you, if you'd
only go away.


Well past time, for you to move on.


Sir Dino One Love β˜οΈπŸ’š's photo
Thu 08/08/19 12:04 AM
You may have to kiss a few frogs to find a real princess..spock slaphead

Duttoneer's photo
Thu 08/08/19 12:12 AM

That ship has sailed, move on in my opinion.

no photo
Thu 08/08/19 01:48 AM
She's just not that into you man, move on. It happens every now and then.

mzrosie's photo
Thu 08/08/19 03:09 AM
... but but they made out/groping/french kissing on the beach for 7 hours on the second meet. Third meet could be his lucky day.

To OP: Did you buy her drinks and dinner first?

Larsi666 😽's photo
Thu 08/08/19 03:52 AM


That ship has sailed, move on in my opinion.



And plenty more ships in the ocean, I reckon

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo
Thu 08/08/19 04:03 AM
She probably wants a real connection and relationship, not something that's based on getting frisky in public.
I suggest doing the same thing. Chemistry may be fun, but in itself is pretty meaningless.

Bastet127's photo
Thu 08/08/19 04:46 AM
So a 7 hour date and she never mentioned she was going overseas? hmmm...
You should wait for her to make the next move, and don’t hold your breath.

jinster's photo
Thu 08/08/19 05:00 AM
Edited by jinster on Thu 08/08/19 05:00 AM
SparkingCrystal, yes that's what i sense too. Shes highly self respecting and doesn't seem to be one to sleep around where as I carry my baggage around me in plain sight.

And yes mzrosie, I think also theres a pressure on her that the 3rd date would have to be equally/more intimate because once again, I'm not much of a dating material in this stage of my life.

And no there wasn't even drinks and dinner involved, I just asked her if i could kiss her at the park and after a short trip to the bathroom on her part (prob to groom) she let me, very shyly at first, which then was a full on tongue action when i asked her to see her again.

no photo
Thu 08/08/19 09:43 AM
French kiss then ghost?

Reads more like a brush off than "ghosting."
"Ghosting," from my understanding, is a complete cut of all communication and/or any means of contacting her.

So what do you think is going on

How should I know?
You seem to have only spent a few hours with her and don't know what's going on.

All the information you give here may not be in any way true.
I mean you say "so she is career oriented and busy...Shes highly self respecting and doesn't seem to be one to sleep around..."
How do you know this? Because she said so? Or because you've followed her around all her life?
Or are you making a judgment call? Why should we trust your judgment about her when you can't judge what's going on with her?

For all I know her husband found your last text on her cell phone and she's distancing herself from you because he's now monitoring everything she does.


how should I approach this?

It doesn't matter.
Unless what you're "really" asking is "who do I have to be to give her what she wants so she will openly communicate with me to my satisfaction in a way I can easily understand and is guaranteed to lead to me getting what I want?"
Then, I have no idea, there's not enough real information.

ctr916's photo
Thu 08/08/19 10:11 AM
...personally, i don't take women seriously until after they do me, usually.

oldkid46's photo
Thu 08/08/19 10:16 AM
What you heard may be the truth. Some people actually have a busy schedule and a date or making a relationship is low on their priority. Keep the lines of communication open just don't expect anything. Let her know now and then what your plans are and just offer for her to join you if she has a chance. Committing to a formal date with a date and time is not always feasible for some people.

no photo
Thu 08/08/19 10:39 AM
All you can really do is leave the ball in her court m8. It's up to her if she wants to volley it back.

Thank her for a nice day. Wish her well.

no photo
Thu 08/08/19 11:33 AM
Yea
I thinks shes to buzy to date right now. So i just keep lookin around for someone who wants to. Good luck

soufiehere's photo
Thu 08/08/19 12:19 PM
If you are smart, you will back WAY off and give her the space she has asked for.
She sounds pretty up front about it all, sometimes truth hurts.

OH, and NEVER force a gal to come with an excuse before you even ask by saying,
'Are you busy this weekend?' She is already locked on an excuse and you have not
proposed the date yet.

Then, I would wait a month or three, maybe send something via mail so all the
choices are hers, some sweet thing, maybe a beach item, picture frame, etc.

Keeps your hand in with no expectations.

Best of luck ;-)
ALL women can be had ;-)

Up2youandme's photo
Thu 08/08/19 12:34 PM

Met a woman online- 1st date brief, 2nd date 7hrs which ended up us making out/groping/french kissing on the beach. We were vague about setting up the next date so i flat out said i want to see her again and as a response she just grabbed me and kissed me hard.

I took this as a strong yes.

However on the follow up text she says she's too busy to meet me in the immediate future, and that she's not ready for a relationship- which she told me in person even before we started kissing.

Ok, so she is career oriented and busy, that much is certain.

And I already asked her out twice and got a no, like so:
-are you busy this weekend?
yes, trip overseas
-can i try asking you next week and the week after?
i am being realistic, i won't have time in the immediate future because of my schedule

Ok, The sensible me should write this off but I never had someone disappear on me after all that kissing.

So what do you think is going on and how should I approach this?

I'm thinking just a light text a week from now, along with asking her out that weekend, and then probably drop it completely.



How is it that you assume it's her fault and never yours?

Ever consider you let out too much of you that she didn't particularly like?

ivegotthegirth's photo
Thu 08/08/19 12:34 PM

If you are smart, you will back WAY off and give her the space she has asked for.
She sounds pretty up front about it all, sometimes truth hurts.

OH, and NEVER force a gal to come with an excuse before you even ask by saying,
'Are you busy this weekend?' She is already locked on an excuse and you have not
proposed the date yet.

Then, I would wait a month or three, maybe send something via mail so all the
choices are hers, some sweet thing, maybe a beach item, picture frame, etc.

Keeps your hand in with no expectations.

Best of luck ;-)
ALL women can be had ;-)



Couldn't agree more!
I'd add, you asked her if you could kiss her? IMO never do that, if you want tokiss her just do it.

Previous 1