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Topic: Why not sex on the first date?
carold Joined Sun 03/23/08 Posts: 26747	Sat 01/19/13 03:37 AM
if there is no sex on the first date there wont be a second date. That Is not me that Is my cousins philosophy. Generally speaking, I agree with this. Every date I've been on in the last several years has ended with sex. And most of those that didn't there just wasn't any chemistry. Why not sex on a first date? Is it some kind of power game? R u serious dude? I think a woman would be able to know if she would EVENTUALY sleep with a guy she likes. You have to keep a man on his toes, it is trashy, & slutty to give it up on a first date even a 2nd & 3rd date, Not my goodies anytime soon, if he cant respect that than buh-bye someone else will. Its Called RESPECT. Respect is something a lot of people are lacking these days. Have to keep a man on his toes? Sounds like a power play to me. My point is, if you want to have sex and know you're going to sooner or later, why not just have sex? Playing hard to get is a head game. It's an attempt to make others think what you have is of more value than what EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET HAS. You ain't special in this department. Insisting he pay for several dates to earn having sex is nothing but legal prostitution. So, either she's a hooker or she plays head games. In either case, men are better off avoiding women like that. might be a good idea to get to know him and make sure he isn't a nut job or a many number of other things

TawtStrat Joined Fri 11/16/12 Posts: 3581	Sat 01/19/13 04:34 AM
How many more pages is this circle jerk going to go on for? It's not hard to understand. If a woman is looking for a relationship and not a one night stand she's probably not going to sleep with you straight away until she gets to know you a bit. Buying someone dinner and a few drinks does not entitle you to anything apart from their company.

Zimzane2 Joined Mon 01/14/13 Posts: 221	Sat 01/19/13 05:02 AM
why not??? If it happens a great thing.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 01/19/13 06:17 AM
How many more pages is this circle jerk going to go on for? It's not hard to understand. If a woman is looking for a relationship and not a one night stand she's probably not going to sleep with you straight away until she gets to know you a bit. Buying someone dinner and a few drinks does not entitle you to anything apart from their company. First of all, if you don't like this "circle jerk" you are free to stop reading it. My question was; if she knows she's going to have sex with him, why is she putting it off? She must know him well enough if she's already decided to have sex. I think I've gotten all the answers I need. Yes, there are good reasons to put it off. But, it's often a head game too.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 01/19/13 06:45 AM
You think it's a sense of entitlement because some women might want more than to only be wanted for sex? Really? No. That's not what I'm saying. Women and men both are entitled to all the happiness and emotions that go along with getting together. The sense of entitlement begins when she starts insisting on gaining access to his tangibles. His house, his business, his bank accounts etc. This is what marriage is. This is the "more" women keep saying they want. They already have his love. They have his commitment. But, it's not enough. They aren't satisfied until they have it all.

tisnotme Joined Wed 09/26/12 Posts: 12	Sat 01/19/13 07:32 AM
I happen to agree with you

AmandaXoxox Joined Wed 09/01/10 Posts: 39	Sat 01/19/13 07:54 AM
Hi no, thats not what i meant.. There is a right timing for everything. Some people are easy, & some people test the waters a little bit.

AmandaXoxox Joined Wed 09/01/10 Posts: 39	Sat 01/19/13 08:07 AM
I guess for me i cant have sex with someone i dont know, there has to be some kind of an emotional connection.I have to care for the person. Does that make better sense than my original post? LOL. I have 4 brothers & they told me if a woman gives it up to them the first time they meet then they dont pursue anything because they lose all respect for her.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Sat 01/19/13 08:52 AM
You think it's a sense of entitlement because some women might want more than to only be wanted for sex? Really? No. That's not what I'm saying. Women and men both are entitled to all the happiness and emotions that go along with getting together. The sense of entitlement begins when she starts insisting on gaining access to his tangibles. His house, his business, his bank accounts etc. This is what marriage is. This is the "more" women keep saying they want. They already have his love. They have his commitment. But, it's not enough. They aren't satisfied until they have it all. Even though this is true in some cases, it probably has little, if anything, to do with a woman's decision to forgo sex on the first date in spite of the fact that she feels enough "physical" attraction toward him and from him to know that she wants to eventually bed him....I think you are beginning to blur the lines in terms of motive or no motive for screwing on the first date when you know you want to....Also, the women who have contributed various reasons throughout the course of this thread would have a better handle on why they abstain than you would simply because they are women...So you either accept their answers as fact or continue to believe that the only reason involves ulterior motive....It's really no skin off anyones arse but yours..

AmandaXoxox Joined Wed 09/01/10 Posts: 39	Sat 01/19/13 08:56 AM
You think it's a sense of entitlement because some women might want more than to only be wanted for sex? Really? No. That's not what I'm saying. Women and men both are entitled to all the happiness and emotions that go along with getting together. The sense of entitlement begins when she starts insisting on gaining access to his tangibles. His house, his business, his bank accounts etc. This is what marriage is. This is the "more" women keep saying they want. They already have his love. They have his commitment. But, it's not enough. They aren't satisfied until they have it all. Even though this is true in some cases, it probably has little, if anything, to do with a woman's decision to forgo sex on the first date in spite of the fact that she feels enough "physical" attraction toward him and from him to know that she wants to eventually bed him....I think you are beginning to blur the lines in terms of motive or no motive for screwing on the first date when you know you want to....Also, the women who have contributed various reasons throughout the course of this thread would have a better handle on why they abstain than you would simply because they are women...So you either accept their answers as fact or continue to believe that the only reason involves ulterior motive....It's really no skin off anyones arse but yours.. Very well said Leigh, thanks.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Sat 01/19/13 09:05 AM
You think it's a sense of entitlement because some women might want more than to only be wanted for sex? Really? No. That's not what I'm saying. Women and men both are entitled to all the happiness and emotions that go along with getting together. The sense of entitlement begins when she starts insisting on gaining access to his tangibles. His house, his business, his bank accounts etc. This is what marriage is. This is the "more" women keep saying they want. They already have his love. They have his commitment. But, it's not enough. They aren't satisfied until they have it all. Even though this is true in some cases, it probably has little, if anything, to do with a woman's decision to forgo sex on the first date in spite of the fact that she feels enough "physical" attraction toward him and from him to know that she wants to eventually bed him....I think you are beginning to blur the lines in terms of motive or no motive for screwing on the first date when you know you want to....Also, the women who have contributed various reasons throughout the course of this thread would have a better handle on why they abstain than you would simply because they are women...So you either accept their answers as fact or continue to believe that the only reason involves ulterior motive....It's really no skin off anyones arse but yours.. Very well said Leigh, thanks. TY (((Amanda))) :)

whattheheywastaken Joined Wed 11/30/11 Posts: 1058	Sat 01/19/13 09:30 AM
Maybe this is just my inexperience in the bedroom talking, but if a woman would have sex with me on the 1st date, I would take a bullet for her on the 2nd.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Sat 01/19/13 09:32 AM
Maybe this is just my inexperience in the bedroom talking, but if a woman would have sex with me on the 1st date, I would take a bullet for her on the 2nd.

AmandaXoxox Joined Wed 09/01/10 Posts: 39	Sat 01/19/13 10:45 AM
Maybe this is just my inexperience in the bedroom talking, but if a woman would have sex with me on the 1st date, I would take a bullet for her on the 2nd. LOL

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sat 01/19/13 10:57 AM
Maybe this is just my inexperience in the bedroom talking, but if a woman would have sex with me on the 1st date, I would take a bullet for her on the 2nd. LOL

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 01/19/13 11:01 AM
You think it's a sense of entitlement because some women might want more than to only be wanted for sex? Really? No. That's not what I'm saying. Women and men both are entitled to all the happiness and emotions that go along with getting together. The sense of entitlement begins when she starts insisting on gaining access to his tangibles. His house, his business, his bank accounts etc. This is what marriage is. This is the "more" women keep saying they want. They already have his love. They have his commitment. But, it's not enough. They aren't satisfied until they have it all. That's the "more" you keep saying women want. Women have given you many reasons why they want a relationship, but you keep going back to the reasons you believe they want a relationship.

TawtStrat Joined Fri 11/16/12 Posts: 3581	Sat 01/19/13 11:04 AM
It's always about money for you isn't it Tex. Yeah, probably most women are looking for marriage eventually or at least want a longterm relationship. A lot of men want that too. Women do have jobs and earn their own money these days and don't really need men to support them as you point out. I remember a conversation a woman started on another site where she said that her boyfriend was always giving her a hard time about buying new shoes all the time and she felt like that she had to smuggle them into the house so that he wouldn't moan about it. But she had a job and was using her own money. You don't want to get married and you don't want a woman spending your money. Then don't get married or don't have a joint bank acount with someone. You say that you are happy to spend money on a date but you expect sex and then you go on about women being whores. They are damned if they do and damned if they don't. You must be trolling.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Sat 01/19/13 01:11 PM Edited by Jeanniebean on Sat 01/19/13 01:15 PM
Some women do want "more." So you first have to figure out what that "more" is. If she is young, she may want marriage and children. If that is the case, she would not be too smart to just hook up with some looser who has no job, no business, no money, and no way to help her raise children. THAT is why women are interested in money and property. Because ultimately, the woman will get stuck with the children if the relationship does not work and she wants a HOUSE and a way to provide for them. So she also wants a commitment and a man who is in it for the long haul. That is "more." Now for older women: They don't usually want children or they already have them and they probably don't want to raise your children from another marriage. They probably want companionship and some financial support. Women still don't make as much money as men do in this society in general. So if you expect her to provide sex and cooking and house "wifey" duties then you should provide financial support for her contribution. And she should contribute more than just sex, but she is not to be considered your maid, housekeeper, secretary and sex partner in exchange for room and board. She can get room and board plus a salary taking care of the elderly or being a maid and no sex is required. But men should realize that women are not as excited about sex as you are and you are not doing them a favor providing your sexual services no matter how good you think you are, therefore they might have something you want and you are not 'entitled' to it just because she is dating you or even living with you.

AndyBgood Joined Thu 12/25/08 Posts: 12437	Sat 01/19/13 01:31 PM
Are we still going here? Well, I guess it isn't a BAD thing if a woman wants to polish my torpedo on the first date. Just don't assume I am going to take it to mean anything! But if the sex is all that don't be surprised if I call later to ask for seconds!

teebee79 Joined Wed 11/07/12 Posts: 2179	Sat 01/19/13 01:53 PM
Maybe this is just my inexperience in the bedroom talking, but if a woman would have sex with me on the 1st date, I would take a bullet for her on the 2nd. this is why I luuuuv 1st timers!!!!