Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Twice Weekly Sex Contract...Would You Sign One?
42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 01/27/12 02:01 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that before he marries any woman, they would have to agree to have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away. Would you sign a contract that states you have to have sex/make love to your partner twice a week? I have a dilemma with this because I wouldn't sign a contract like this if it was a condition of him marrying me and in principle, I object to a contract that would effectively take away the spontaneity...I also don’t think sex and how often it occurs can be legislated by a contract....IDK...I kinda disagree but agree in a weird way.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 01/27/12 02:03 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that before he marries any woman, they would have to agree to have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away. Would you sign a contract that states you have to have sex/make love to your partner twice a week? I have a dilemma with this because I wouldn't sign a contract like this if it was a condition of him marrying me and in principle, I object to a contract that would effectively take away the spontaneity...I also don’t think sex and how often it occurs can be legislated by a contract....IDK...I kinda disagree but agree in a weird way. it depends on whether we could both initiate if we cant find two occasions in seven days when we are both feeling like it,, something else is wrong I could go with that ,,if it was only about two times that HE felt like it,,,than its a no deal

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 01/27/12 02:05 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that before he marries any woman, they would have to agree to have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away. Would you sign a contract that states you have to have sex/make love to your partner twice a week? I have a dilemma with this because I wouldn't sign a contract like this if it was a condition of him marrying me and in principle, I object to a contract that would effectively take away the spontaneity...I also don’t think sex and how often it occurs can be legislated by a contract....IDK...I kinda disagree but agree in a weird way. it depends on whether we could both initiate if we cant find two occasions in seven days when we are both feeling like it,, something else is wrong I could go with that ,,if it was only about two times that HE felt like it,,,than its a no deal Don't you think it would put added pressure on a relationship?

Godiva Joined Tue 12/09/08 Posts: 5330	Fri 01/27/12 02:06 PM
I would sign no contracts. If you can't properly make love without one, maybe you should not be in a relationship.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:06 PM
If the sex is good, it will be happening. If I were married to someone, sex twice a week would not be too much at all to expect. I would think that if I lost interest in having sex with someone I was married to, something would be wrong. That reason needs to be worked on, rather than being forced to have sex because of some silly contract.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 01/27/12 02:08 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that before he marries any woman, they would have to agree to have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away. Would you sign a contract that states you have to have sex/make love to your partner twice a week? I have a dilemma with this because I wouldn't sign a contract like this if it was a condition of him marrying me and in principle, I object to a contract that would effectively take away the spontaneity...I also don’t think sex and how often it occurs can be legislated by a contract....IDK...I kinda disagree but agree in a weird way. it depends on whether we could both initiate if we cant find two occasions in seven days when we are both feeling like it,, something else is wrong I could go with that ,,if it was only about two times that HE felt like it,,,than its a no deal Don't you think it would put added pressure on a relationship? nope, no more than signing a contract saying I should exhale, I think sex is a natural part of marriage and if it cant be managed on two occasions per week,, something is wrong,,,

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 01/27/12 02:09 PM
If the sex is good, it will be happening. If I were married to someone, sex twice a week would not be too much at all to expect. I would think that if I lost interest in having sex with someone I was married to, something would be wrong. That reason needs to be worked on, rather than being forced to have sex because of some silly contract. I agree. ID sign it because, for me, it wouldnt be a 'forced' issue, but just something I would be naturally doing anyway,,

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:12 PM Edited by singmesweet on Fri 01/27/12 02:13 PM
If the sex is good, it will be happening. If I were married to someone, sex twice a week would not be too much at all to expect. I would think that if I lost interest in having sex with someone I was married to, something would be wrong. That reason needs to be worked on, rather than being forced to have sex because of some silly contract. I agree. ID sign it because, for me, it wouldnt be a 'forced' issue, but just something I would be naturally doing anyway,, A contract would be forcing it, should any problems come up for any reason. Take the guy in the first post.. we don't even know why the women lost interest. Maybe he wasn't that good at what he was doing? Maybe he didn't care about making them happy? Maybe they just got tired of that? Who knows. I would not force myself to have sex with someone who was all about their own needs and not mine as well. That issue would need to be worked on and fixed instead.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Fri 01/27/12 02:12 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. why..... he should work on that

skywisper Joined Mon 03/21/11 Posts: 1213	Fri 01/27/12 02:14 PM
I would sign no contracts. If you can't properly make love without one, maybe you should not be in a relationship. I AGREE WITH YOU,HOOO HOOO.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 01/27/12 02:15 PM
I would sign no contracts. If you can't properly make love without one, maybe you should not be in a relationship. It's not about his/her ability to make love in the short term, it's about long term...say 5 - 10 from getting married and one of you looses interest in making love. He's just trying to prevent that from happening by have her sign a contract.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 01/27/12 02:16 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. why..... he should work on that Exactly. Women dont say no to the big O, so obviously he was not providing it. too many just expect that 'o' to happen though people need communication to express what works for THEIR bodies where their partner is concerned, and we need to stop seeing sex as some innate ability instead of a learned skill

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Fri 01/27/12 02:16 PM
No. Twice weekly is piss poor and not enough. Who needs a freakin contract? I don't need no freakin contract!

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:16 PM
I would sign no contracts. If you can't properly make love without one, maybe you should not be in a relationship. It's not about his/her ability to make love in the short term, it's about long term...say 5 - 10 from getting married and one of you looses interest in making love. He's just trying to prevent that from happening by have her sign a contract. Perhaps he needs to work on whatever reason it is that these women are losing interest in sex?

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 01/27/12 02:19 PM
If the sex is good, it will be happening. If I were married to someone, sex twice a week would not be too much at all to expect. I would think that if I lost interest in having sex with someone I was married to, something would be wrong. That reason needs to be worked on, rather than being forced to have sex because of some silly contract. I haven't been in this situation so can only speculate but I don't think many couples talk about a decline in a partner's sex drive. I just think that it’s something that doesn’t often get talked about.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:19 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. why..... he should work on that Exactly. Women dont say no to the big O, so obviously he was not providing it. too many just expect that 'o' to happen though people need communication to express what works for THEIR bodies where their partner is concerned, and we need to stop seeing sex as some innate ability instead of a learned skill Exactly, which is why there is no need for a contract. If both people are learning together what pleases the other, there's no need for a contract. However, if he's just hoping they will have sex no matter what effort is put into it, that's a problem.

JOHNN111 Joined Wed 05/13/09 Posts: 9273	Fri 01/27/12 02:19 PM
It doesn't make much sense to me... twice a week or else I'll divorce you??? contract or not... divorce is the end game. so why bother mentioning a unenforceable contract?

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 01/27/12 02:20 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. why..... he should work on that Playing devil's advocate...why should HE work on it..he doesn't have a problem with his sex drive!

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:20 PM
I would sign no contracts. If you can't properly make love without one, maybe you should not be in a relationship. It's not about his/her ability to make love in the short term, it's about long term...say 5 - 10 from getting married and one of you looses interest in making love. He's just trying to prevent that from happening by have her sign a contract. So, then you would sign the contract to ensure he stays happy?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 01/27/12 02:21 PM
His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. why..... he should work on that Playing devil's advocate...why should HE work on it..he doesn't have a problem with his sex drive! Oh, but there's so much more to great sex than just a high sex drive.