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Community > Posts By > 42BlackBBW
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Topic:
Say Something Vague - part 6
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Stick a fork, I'm just about done for the day
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That it's easy to make decisions when you haven't put a name to a face.
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When in love, I can overlook ANYthing. I am easy that way. Exactly which is why regardless of whatever "conditions" I may have, they all go out the window when I need the ones that make me bark like a bi@ch in heat 
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sat 06/21/14 04:21 PM
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You only want sausage babydoll, the toilet seat and his financial situation shouldn't be an issue either way. A girl can dream darlin and besides, wanting sausage doesn't negate sleep overs 
I think these threads are too conditional based... How about trying the H.O.W. method... (H)onesty (O)penmindedness (W)illingness Preconceived notions about how anything "should" be, will surely produce poor results... Nice acronym BTW. I don't think it's a preconceived notion to have a plan. Some people 'nest', I like a plan. Doesn't mean I stick to it, I just like to work out the variables 
It's it sometimes the point of knowing that you've found the right partner is someone that challenges each others preconceptions so that if the relationship were to end, you've changed and grown as a result? |
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sat 06/21/14 04:08 PM
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yeah, that analogy kind of throws me too but I think the question is about which things we can compromise about,, I don't compromise on loving my kids, I don't compromise on their loving themselves ( I don't want to be their reason for living, in otherwords, I want to be their CHOICE of partner not their necessity) I don't compromise on them loving/believing in God and Christ as Gods only begotten son I don't compromise on them not being too lazy to work in and out of the home , where necessary. I don't compromise on them showing respect to the elders, its a solid value of my culture and one I raise my children with. I don't compromise on being able to communicate, which means we do have to speak the same language,,, English. but other than those things, no one is perfect, and its really going to come down to the chemistry and how closely our values and goals coincide. apologies for the bad analogy but it's based on the fact that the person that you're likely to meet may not meet your criteria 100% so how much are you willing to settle on? |
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you lost me at "...he or she should make you 100% whole." if one is not 'whole' going in, no amount of 'he' or 'she' can fix that, nor should it be expected. Very true however, this was kinda based along the concept that meeting your soul mate (if you believe in that) completes you e.g. makes you 100% whole. Play along with me KC |
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If I'm bored with him then I'm out.....after all if you're bored this early on in the game it would seem there is no where left to go but down....and I DON'T mean the good kind... 
Exactly...just took me a while to get there |
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Life is boring cause you make it boring. Be the initiator & take charge your pursuit of happiness. If he/she doesn't feel the same, then leave. ;) I know I did not make this particularly clear but I am not talking about my life in general. This is about the possibility of starting a relationship with this one individual who is starting to bore me. I just want to doubly sure because he looks so compatible on paper. Toilet paper looks good until you wipe something on it.. You could argue that toilet paper serves a purpose... 
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sat 06/21/14 03:52 PM
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In an ideal world, your (future) partner should be the sum of you your parts - basically he or she should make you 100% whole. Whereby the need to compromise is negated.
However, we don't live in an ideal world therefore what % are you prepared to settle on? Would you settle for someone that always forgets to put the toilet seat down or take the bins out regardless of how many times you tell him/her. Someone who doesn'��t interact with your kids (from another relationship) too well. Someone whose first language isn't yours and there are communication issues. Someone with a different faith than yours or gasp, no faith completely agnostic while your celebrating yours every single day and twice on Sunday's . Or Someone that wasn’t as financially solvent as you.
How much would the sum of all his/her parts add up to e.g. how much are you willing to settle for (or if it sounds better, compromise on)? this made sense in my head when I thought it up it |
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Life is boring cause you make it boring. Be the initiator & take charge your pursuit of happiness. If he/she doesn't feel the same, then leave. ;) I know I did not make this particularly clear but I am not talking about my life in general. This is about the possibility of starting a relationship with this one individual who is starting to bore me. I just want to doubly sure because he looks so compatible on paper. |
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Life I know.. I sometimes need help ensure that I've explored all angles. |
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On paper, he/she should be perfect for you. Then you're in quite the predicament. On some level you have to figure out if what's causing your "boredom" is nature or a cause of nurture. I mean you could be "bored" with the "paper perfect" guy for several reasons. Such as - You don't really want a relationship. So no matter what you are going to find flaws to sabotage any relationship. - He isn't sexually attractive to you, but he represents a valued social trophy. - You are sexually attracted to him, but you've been trained to believe happiness and love, when "found," are perpetual things. Like kids that need constant mental stimulus so get addicted to video games and the internet and can't sit still for more than 3 seconds without feeling pain and withdrawal. So you think there must be something "wrong" since you aren't in a perpetual state of stimulation. - His DNA may simply be too close a match to yours which means flipper kids and you can pick that up through a pheromone trail, so everything else is mr. perfect, but your mating brain is pushing you away. Good luck with that. You've got a lot of work ahead of you to sort it all out. It's this His DNA may simply be too close a match to yours Although not by DNA. He's a pureblood in his ethnicity and I'm a pureblood in mine. I think it's the fact that we are so similar and the predictability that's causing the boredom. I also think this is why I haven't moved things along. Why go forward if it's not going to work. I am a planner and I need someone that is laid back and takes things in his stride and who can come up with ways that enable me to deviate from my planning |
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What about you? Do you want the pig or the sausage? I would rather just take it one date at a time rather than preplan how a relationship is going to live up to my fears. I haven't yet found the pig that makes me want to forego the sausage. Doesn't help that I'm choosy about the type of meat in the brand of sausage that I go for - needs to be quality sausage
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Topic:
ltr and marriage
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Looking for a man (who doesn’t live on the other side of the world)and who is willing to wait...and yes, please and thank you
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sat 06/21/14 03:57 AM
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I got your number
 
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Sat 06/21/14 03:36 AM
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tell him you want to play hide and seek... tell him to count to 50. you go to your bedroom take all your clothes off.. then go hide somewhere.. when he finds you.. you say""" surprise.""" now that you found me.. what would you like to do. with me... boredom problem.. SOLVED... 
All these sex related games are all good ideas IF we were at the bedroom stage...but we are not which was the reason behind the thread in the first place. |
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Here's a topic sure to get some interesting replies. This happened to a friend of mine, and I'm trying to advise her. A professional woman dates a professional man. He keeps asking her to move in with him, but she avoids it for many reasons. Finally she does. He has two kids by his ex-wife, and he actually wasn't divorced as he said he was when they first started dating, but he is divorced before she moves in. The kids are very poorly behaved and they treat her as though she's an invader, even as she waits on them, cooks for them, and cares for them. That's right. He starts to treat her not like a date but like a kitchen slave, barefoot and starving, no time to run her business because she is trying to keep up with his demands for domestic support. He'd said he would hire help and do his part, but she is now neglecting her college age child, career, health, etc. while her boyfriend drools over his ex-wife every time she stops by unexpectedly and then once she leaves orders the live in girlfriend around in front of the kids. She knows she should just kick the guy to the curb, but she's taken financial risks to be with him, and he claims to want to work it out. They have an appointment for counseling. I think she should limit her investment in him and the kids while getting her business back on track and looking after her college student, and then leave him. She thinks she should give him one more crack, and he's agreed to relationship counseling. The latest development is that she's found out that he's been chatting and emailing with old girlfriends and using porn when she's taking a shower. She's seriously hot looking, extremely nice, very intelligent and an amazing mother. She has a great personality too. She's been so nice to him. He is professionally very successful and even wealthy, but during all of this, he's never offered to support her or pay more than a few bills. He is a real penny pincher in and out of bed. And, he's started to check out anything in tight pants when they are supposedly on a romantic walk or away overnight. She is used to being the one being checked out, but he looks over her head at teenagers and other people's wives. He even brags about his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends, about how much younger they were than him and about their advanced degrees. Though she has an advanced degree, he is apparently more impressed with theirs. Again, I think she needs to get out of there. She could have 100 successful, good looking men after her in a heartbeat. But, she's giving him another chance, even though she knows what he's up to online. She's not an idiot, and she has considered leaving him. She's told him to treat her like a queen or she'd leave. But, he still acts like he can't use the stove and refuses to buy her flowers or take her away on trips more than a short overnighter during which he will stare at and talk with her about young women in tight pants. What can I say to her to cut the losses and not give him any more time than she needs to get herself in a better position to leave? Your friend obviously has 'issues' and extremely low self esteem if she would put a man and his kids by another over her own child, her own career and her own needs. She does need counselling.. not to save this waste of a relationship but counselling to help her value herself and re-build her own self worth. A truly confident woman knows what she brings to the table and while she may make compromises and negotiate to make a relationship work, she doesn't do this to her detriment or to the detriment of her child/children. Classic case of 'pig' over 'sausage' .
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Topic:
age difference
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My preference is (and always has been) a few years either side.
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Fri 06/20/14 07:28 AM
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Are we talking about Little Smokies or Johnsonville bratwurst? Great big schlongs of sausage
it a little selfish? To ask someone to give you only what you want and if you start it out so conditional what else is to change along the way? (for the worse) Poor fellas always get faulted for the wham bam thank ya mam mentality.... Perhaps those guys only want to give the sausage not the whole pig... Could be just me...but I didn't think that relationship go straight from "Hi, my name is"... to this is your side of the bed. Their is usually a time where you start off living separately. Rather than head straight for cohabitation...it's just saying from the outset that I don't think I can see myself living with you (or anyone) in the foreseeable future. Apparently you have never been to Tennessee! How do you know a Tennesseean and has been on a second date? - There is a U-Haul truck in the driveway! 
Nope. Only been to New York and Florida as far as the US is concerned. I'll leave others to get on your case for your very bad sense of humour
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