Well Lex you make some very Valid points. And I agree wholeheartedly. I was born in, what do you call it Indiantucky? Sorry I never contacted you personally, I live too far away. And now am in a relationship. However I would like to tell you now That I enjoy the responses from you in the forums. And don't feel bad sweetie. We all get those illegible, unreadable garble from someone from in some far off place you've NEVER heard of. Hell I got one today form some moron in Nigeria (yes believe it or not he admitted it) saying something to the effect of how wonderful I seem, and I am the marrying type. (note- my profile says I am in a relationship now and only here for the forums and my freinds) I almost fired back with a barrage of comments on what a complete imbecile he was and maybe he should try learning english before contacting someone who uses it as their priamry language. Then I though better of it and decided to just delete it, as I'm sure any words bigger then 5 letters would confuse him. So Dear Lex try and keep the faith, and remember those of us in the forums Love Ya.

Thanks!

Oh, and I can relate to your Nigerian experience. I've had more than a few of those, too, and it's always a challenge to try to figure out what it is they're trying to say. And when I say "challenge," I mean "waste of time."

But you raise a good point. The guy says you're the "marrying type" despite the fact that your profile clearly states you're in a relationship. So the guy either didn't read your profile, didn't understand it, or just ignored what he did read.

I get so many messages that ask "Where are you? What do you do?" and I know they haven't even glanced at the profile. Where's my incentive to even try to communicate? The way I see it, the profile will either offend them enough so they don't bother me, or they will be interested enough to send me something relevant (that's the theory, anyway -- it rarely works out like that in reality).

But if they don't even read it? I'm sorry, but if someone expects me to respond, they should give me a little something to work with. The last six or seven messages I've gotten are all along the lines of "Hi, how are you?" or "Can I know you?" I mean, I could get better dialogue from a smoke detector.

So so true.
And I agree about scammers, they are like a plague. I personally have had two of them actually waste my time for a month or two before they tried to get money out of me. I had them deleted then did the adult thing.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
I spammed their email accounts, and messengers. I told them that if they just admitted to me that it was a game I would stop. But usually after a month of constant emailing. I got bored with the game and let them live. But one "get this" that I actually found out his African name and reported him to every scam site I could. after 8 months (I kid you not) Contacted me under the same scam email and said " But I know you actually have feelings for me and we could work this out.
I was flabbergasted. Needless to say, there was quite an extensive and descriptive email reply to that one. (I will spare you the details)
So Live an Learn. I've decided its just better to laugh at them, and move along. But keep the faith Lex, Your gonna stumble across you greatest fan one day (and hopefully it won' reenact that hobbling scene form misery).
Much Love to ya.

That "Misery" thing keeps coming up every now and then -- that I may have my very own Annie Wilkes out there -- OK, it wouldn't be good for my feet, but it's still better than being married....

This is about the people who contact me, which you already know if you read the aforementioned title as mentioned above.

OK, here's the thing -- I get a fair amount of people contacting me on here, via e-mail, IM, nudges, whatever. A certain percentage of these are scammers, and (thanks to Mark and Charles and their crew) I can usually get them nuked within 45 seconds.

As for the ones who are not (or who cannot definitively be proven to be) scammers, I notice a disconcerting sameness in them. Many of the messages are extremely brief (I had one this morning that said "Can I know u?"), poorly written, completely devoid of any signs of useful information or a functioning brain stem, and from people who are very very far away.

I rarely hear from anyone who actually has anything to say, or the literacy skills to say it.

And this puzzles me, because nowhere in my profile (I think -- I mean, the damn thing is so long I rarely go in there myself anymore) does it say "Please contact me if your writing is so garbled and incomprehensible that it will give me a massive headache."

Statistically, it seems to me that the odds SHOULD be that at least one genuine prospect should have contacted me by now, seeing that I've been here 4 1/2 years. Math was never my best subject, though, so I may not know what I'm talking about. It would certainly not be the first time.

And there are many locals on this site; I see them floating through "People You Might Be Interested In" every day. When I look at their profiles, though, it always says "Last Seen Shortly After The Civil War" or something along those lines.

I just don't understand what makes me attractive to someone whose most creative act in life was opening a bag of Ruffles Potato Chips.

George Costanza said it best: "When I like them, they don't like me...and when they like me, I don't like them." OMG, I'm George Costanza....

Maybe you are giving away too much on your proifle and those who have good conversational skills have found red flags in how much you are putting out.those who dont read your profile because of its length dont really know what way you like to communicate and are more then likely opening or breaking the ice in a way that seems to work for them more often than not? If i find a profile thats super long I will skim through it to find things to talk about but i will not remember it all because the conversation may not start or continue long.... generally i welcome any and all messages because at least theres an interest shown and a first move was not made by me for once not matter the opening phrase but since you have been on here quite a while you may have become picky to what you want from a stranger and have put many standards and arent bending enough... if you ignore every attempt at communication be it a short message or a long one you will be talking to no one. You really cant base a person on a short hello, or a 1000 page novel until you find out through actual experience with the person who they are...online you can be anyone and its only a starting point..any how that my opinion on it...good luck on your search

Well, the original idea was that I thought the profile could be used to weed out the people I wasn't interested in. Prior to my creating the 1400-page-long monstrosity, I was only being contacted by 48-year-old women with 3 kids who wanted it clearly understood that THEY ARE MY WORLD!!!!! OK, I get it. But still.

I really wasn't looking for those kinds of offers (hey, I'll be friends with just about anyone, but dating is another matter entirely), so I thought I'd make sure that the profile spelled out, in very clear terms, what I was looking for, and what I was NOT looking for.

Admittedly, it hasn't really worked. Now, instead of being contacted by 48-year-old single/divorced mothers who want to date me, I'm getting contacted by 48-year-old single/divorced mothers who want to yell at me because I don't want to date them. Is this an improvement? I don't know. The point is probably moot.

I am forced to conclude that either a.) all women are 48 years old with 3 kids, and/or b.) my profile is invisible to any who are not. Either way, I'm basically screwed.

I believe there is the option of choosing who cannot message you.. finding out all the things you dont want in your essay/boigraphy about you is something that would come through normal conversation and too much will negate from those willing to compromise on their wants and desires, is everything on there something you will not bend on does it say so for everything you placed? i gave it a speed read and didnt get more than half way done... I am not judge nor questioning how many messages you will or do get. but that amount of information and conversation with yourself takes away from someone trying to come up with things to find our on their own...Im no writer and know I can work on my profile but i just believe a lil mystery piques intersts. the desire to find out an answer brings forth those who are willing to ask qustions of you. as soon as you get past introductions and find interest within a conversation stand point the do and dont are things to ask about turn ons turn offs life perspectives and perceptions all things that can be done in conversations...it almost seems like you want someone to know you from the get go and not need to find anything out about you by talking.. i did the same with putting all what i want and dont want but found i got less with more and learned i get more with less and that there has to be a balance being more direct in what I want with fewer words with those who dont havew the time to read every profile and not explaining enough to those who want more to make a first step

ah alright all good reasons, just placing my opinion from what you mentioned on the begining of the thread.

gotchya like an attention grabber kinda thing

whoa guys! I find the opposite. I think it would be kind of interesting to chat with someone far away.
I have a disclaimer on my profile at another site that asks men to please not message me if all they can think of to say is "hi" or how R u? because I'm not interested in dating someone dumb and boring, but that doesn't stop people from messaging me with just that. Or something similar... I am pretty sure not many people actually read profiles. Just look at pictures. If someone can't handle reading one page of text, don't reply and good riddance.

No problem! I'm just trying to find a way to use this thread as a way of ferreting out someone decent....!

I don't have any problems with talking to someone who is far away -- it's just that they usually have unrealistic expectations attached. And I've heard from literally thousands of scammers, on various sites, over the years, to the point I'm already aware of what's going on when I read "I will like to know you" or "I am to be liking your structure."

And re: "dumb and boring," that's a huge thing, too. 90% of the e-mails I get are from people who couldn't formulate a coherent sentence to save their lives. Half the time I can't even begin to guess what they're trying to say.

I guess what I'm getting at here is the dilemma of being unable to run across anyone compatible. If I wanted dumb and boring, I'd be deluged. If I wanted single alcoholic mothers, I'd be deluged. If I wanted someone 897,000 miles away, I'd be the most popular guy on the internet. But, I'm not looking for any of those things, and it appears there isn't anybody left.

AWW Lex, Maybe you SCARE them because you seem "too good to be true"!

Did someone call me?

Does he eat Pop-Tarts?

Never tried feeding them pop tarts. Cat food yes. And they eat bugs they find like roaches.