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| Topic: People Who Contact Me.... | |
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So clearly only about 10% of women do not want to have children which means this single criterion cuts out 90% of the available candidates. But if you are OK with having grown children Lex then there is a much larger group for you - where you may very well find a great match. I'm a little concerned with the 10% figure because it flies in the face of everything I've experienced my entire life! If just 10% of my exes had not wanted kids, I could probably be in a not-entirely-disastrous relationship right now....! As for the grown children thing, been there, done that, no thank you. That doesn't work for me either. It isn't about how old the kids are, or where they are, it's about the parental mindset having been in place at all. I speak from experience. One of my best friends married a woman 10 years his senior who has grown kids. For him it was quite a tough decision because he actually was interested in having children but he also loved his older partner who could not have any more and did not want any more. In the end he decided that parenthood was something he could forego and substitute grandparenthood instead if the situation were to arise...Well that was 15 years ago. They have been happily married and sure enough he now has grandkids who are my kids age. It has not been much responsibility for him at all and his wife is just great - smart and fun and creative. The difference is, he wanted kids, couldn't have them with her, and ended up finding a substitute (grandkids) which, to some extent, compensated for what he felt he gave up. I don't think the scenarios are really that comparable. I don't want kids, and any situation which ends up with me being involved with someone who has/had kids is outside of my parameters. You can't really "substitute" for the absence of something. |
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Well the 10% figure may well be an overestimate and really this is
the heart of the matter. If you want someone who doesn't want to have kids and who has never had kids then you may well be down in the 4% of women range before you even look at the compatibility in other areas. Let's say that it is 4% on the kids front and then let's say of those that 1 in 100 are otherwise compatible. Given that Lake Co. has a population of about 500,000 and assuming it is 50% female and then taking 1% of 4% we come up with.... 100 candidates in Lake Co alone! Our screening estimator has predicted...you ARE matchable!! Now how shall we find them?! 
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Well the 10% figure may well be an overestimate and really this is the heart of the matter. If you want someone who doesn't want to have kids and who has never had kids then you may well be down in the 4% of women range before you even look at the compatibility in other areas. Let's say that it is 4% on the kids front and then let's say of those that 1 in 100 are otherwise compatible. Given that Lake Co. has a population of about 500,000 and assuming it is 50% female and then taking 1% of 4% we come up with.... 100 candidates in Lake Co alone! Our screening estimator has predicted...you ARE matchable!! Now how shall we find them?!
I think you've perfectly summed up my situation here! And the odds are that a certain percentage of "eligibles" aren't on dating sites, so there's no practical way to find them. It's very difficult to meet people in real life when there's nowhere to go and no way to get there! |
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minglefortwomenwhoneverhadorwantedkids.com !!
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minglefortwomenwhoneverhadorwantedkids.com !! I found a childfree dating site a couple years back. It was set up by a divorce lawyer, I think he's from New Jersey. Anyway, I set up an account, and then I did the obligatory "search for locals" thing. And I think there were three women in what could loosely be described as my "area." As I recall, none of them were actually childfree, it was more like "I've had mine and I don't want any more." OK. I figured, well, the site is new, people don't know about it yet, it will grow over time. And perhaps it will, in the same way that old bones and leaves and detritus are eventually crushed down into forming coal after 250 million years. And I think that's probably about the time frame for me to plan on finding anyone on that childfree site. |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ????
Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back.  I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man. 
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading.... 
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... Yes, yes, I understand. Of course. You have to also believe what you're writing. Everything is transparent. In order for me to write something I feel I have to be in the mood. This is also true for school projects. I don't even know how to write a paper unless I find an interesting subject or an attractive perspective if the subject is already chosen for me. It's the same here and requires self reflection before you can relay your message to someone else. When I'm not in the mood I wait with writing until I'm inspired. |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... Yes, yes, I understand. Of course. You have to also believe what you're writing. Everything is transparent. In order for me to write something I feel I have to be in the mood. This is also true for school projects. I don't even know how to write a paper unless I find an interesting subject or an attractive perspective if the subject is already chosen for me. It's the same here and requires self reflection before you can relay your message to someone else. When I'm not in the mood I wait with writing until I'm inspired. Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Either it's flowing or it's not. And I found out that I can't force it when it's not -- otherwise, what comes out is the biggest pile of sludge ever. Just horrible stuff, just useless. So there are days I don't even try to write anything at all because it just ain't happening! |
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So I was being a little mischievous when I wrote my first paragraph....I fully understood, my way of being funny
It is a hard place to be.....looking forward to one day finding a match that has opposites from mine, so we can both learn from each other...... Still searching......... Have a Great weekend!!! |
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So I was being a little mischievous when I wrote my first paragraph....I fully understood, my way of being funny It is a hard place to be.....looking forward to one day finding a match that has opposites from mine, so we can both learn from each other...... Still searching......... Have a Great weekend!!! I think the "learn from each other" thing is crucial.... And that's part of my problem, in the end. Most of my girlfriends have turned out to be slightly less interesting than the UPC code on the Pop-Tarts box. |
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You have me laughing hard at that one.......well we all have our stories, thats for sure. Pop Tart UPC tho'...
hmm excuse me while I go dig through the trash to see how interesting that might be.....NOT.....Only because we eat toaster strudels...lol One day.......the Universe will yield to all of us lonely souls, and give us what are heart truly seeks, Damn it I am tired of waiting......I WANT IT NOW!!! stepping off my soap box for now...... |
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You have me laughing hard at that one.......well we all have our stories, thats for sure. Pop Tart UPC tho'... hmm excuse me while I go dig through the trash to see how interesting that might be.....NOT.....Only because we eat toaster strudels...lol One day.......the Universe will yield to all of us lonely souls, and give us what are heart truly seeks, Damn it I am tired of waiting......I WANT IT NOW!!! stepping off my soap box for now...... Well, as far as I know, I never did anything to the Universe, but it apparently holds a grudge anyway.... |
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Universe doesn't have it out for you.....It being so expansive, it takes time to find one that will be the perfect blend, I have to help myself believe this, so I am always out to reconfirm to others that it is true, makes it more believable to myself....lol
It all takes time, or else it wouldn't be worth much, Yes? |
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... Yes, yes, I understand. Of course. You have to also believe what you're writing. Everything is transparent. In order for me to write something I feel I have to be in the mood. This is also true for school projects. I don't even know how to write a paper unless I find an interesting subject or an attractive perspective if the subject is already chosen for me. It's the same here and requires self reflection before you can relay your message to someone else. When I'm not in the mood I wait with writing until I'm inspired. Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Either it's flowing or it's not. And I found out that I can't force it when it's not -- otherwise, what comes out is the biggest pile of sludge ever. Just horrible stuff, just useless. So there are days I don't even try to write anything at all because it just ain't happening! What happened? Was there a specific incident that you recall? |
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minglefortwomenwhoneverhadorwantedkids.com !! I found a childfree dating site a couple years back. It was set up by a divorce lawyer, I think he's from New Jersey. Anyway, I set up an account, and then I did the obligatory "search for locals" thing. And I think there were three women in what could loosely be described as my "area." As I recall, none of them were actually childfree, it was more like "I've had mine and I don't want any more." OK. I figured, well, the site is new, people don't know about it yet, it will grow over time. And perhaps it will, in the same way that old bones and leaves and detritus are eventually crushed down into forming coal after 250 million years. And I think that's probably about the time frame for me to plan on finding anyone on that childfree site. this is apparently not the site you need. instead it will have to be never_ever_wanted_or_had_kids_really_now_i_mean_it_not_joking.com!
a better solution for you might be a billboard on the local freeways. of course if you did that then you would probably find the most amazing potential mate who was just visiting the area from new zealand and was going back in 3 days. but you still might get a date out of it.... 
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