Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: People Who Contact Me....
LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:27 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. That's true, but would it be asking so much to get a message from a.) someone who actually lived close enough to meet in real life, and b.) someone I could actually be interested in? Don't get me wrong, I've made some wonderful friends here. But I'm still waiting to run across a legitimate dating prospect (not counting my ex who signed up here to contact me back in 2007 -- I already knew her, going back to 1999). Its not too much to ask for, but maybe its too much to expect, stop waiting for it, and maybe out of the blue it will hit you in the face with a wet fish. But I ONLY get the "hit in the face with the wet fish" part. It's losing its appeal, not to mention most of the scales.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:28 PM
Women don't respect salad eaters. Nor do they respect obscure sci-fi authors. Who knew?

kre8karma Joined Wed 05/04/11 Posts: 334	Sat 08/13/11 03:30 PM
well at least they dont ask u to get married and have there 12 kids. Oh, but they HAVE....!!!! butz i knozes my englishes izz badz butzz iz tryz to beez goodishss andz i dont knowsh zz ruffles buttz i gotzz layzzz You seem suspiciously well-informed about this sort of writing....!! Oh yesh. We'z allz in dis together.Tryin to make youz crazy so y'all will send us dat credit card number and we'z can buy us some diamonds.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:30 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now.

exxman Joined Tue 08/02/11 Posts: 468	Sat 08/13/11 03:34 PM
Women don't respect salad eaters. Nor do they respect obscure sci-fi authors. Who knew? Kramer did i bet lol.

kre8karma Joined Wed 05/04/11 Posts: 334	Sat 08/13/11 03:34 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now. My point is they DO read the headlines even if not the whole lengthy (albeit somewhat fascinating and mesmirizing profiles). And both of yours basically send the same message--"Go Away-you scare me so I'll scare you first" Sorry to be so blunt, but surely you see that?

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Sat 08/13/11 03:36 PM
This is about the people who contact me, which you already know if you read the aforementioned title as mentioned above. OK, here's the thing -- I get a fair amount of people contacting me on here, via e-mail, IM, nudges, whatever. A certain percentage of these are scammers, and (thanks to Mark and Charles and their crew) I can usually get them nuked within 45 seconds. As for the ones who are not (or who cannot definitively be proven to be) scammers, I notice a disconcerting sameness in them. Many of the messages are extremely brief (I had one this morning that said "Can I know u?"), poorly written, completely devoid of any signs of useful information or a functioning brain stem, and from people who are very very far away. I rarely hear from anyone who actually has anything to say, or the literacy skills to say it. And this puzzles me, because nowhere in my profile (I think -- I mean, the damn thing is so long I rarely go in there myself anymore) does it say "Please contact me if your writing is so garbled and incomprehensible that it will give me a massive headache." Statistically, it seems to me that the odds SHOULD be that at least one genuine prospect should have contacted me by now, seeing that I've been here 4 1/2 years. Math was never my best subject, though, so I may not know what I'm talking about. It would certainly not be the first time. And there are many locals on this site; I see them floating through "People You Might Be Interested In" every day. When I look at their profiles, though, it always says "Last Seen Shortly After The Civil War" or something along those lines. I just don't understand what makes me attractive to someone whose most creative act in life was opening a bag of Ruffles Potato Chips. George Costanza said it best: "When I like them, they don't like me...and when they like me, I don't like them." OMG, I'm George Costanza.... Well if anyone compatible was actually thinking about contacting you then reading the above should put the kibosh on it.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Sat 08/13/11 03:36 PM
But I ONLY get the "hit in the face with the wet fish" part. It's losing its appeal, not to mention most of the scales. Keep a jar of tartare sauce on you at all times because the next wet fish might be a smoked kipper. My advice is so poor! lol

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Sat 08/13/11 03:40 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now. My point is they DO read the headlines even if not the whole lengthy (albeit somewhat fascinating and mesmirizing profiles). And both of yours basically send the same message--"Go Away-you scare me so I'll scare you first" Sorry to be so blunt, but surely you see that? Its a fair comment, Lex, maybe you could slightly improve your odds with a more inviting headline.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:41 PM
Women don't respect salad eaters. Nor do they respect obscure sci-fi authors. Who knew? Kramer did i bet lol. That's why he wrote a coffee table book.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:44 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now. My point is they DO read the headlines even if not the whole lengthy (albeit somewhat fascinating and mesmirizing profiles). And both of yours basically send the same message--"Go Away-you scare me so I'll scare you first" Sorry to be so blunt, but surely you see that? But I started using the "intimidating and complicated" line as a joke, after so many people on here referred to me that way. I've had probably 50 or 60 other headlines before that one, and, as far as I can tell, it never made any difference. I just don't think people read profiles. Because if they did, about 90% of the people who contact me wouldn't have contacted me.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:46 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now. My point is they DO read the headlines even if not the whole lengthy (albeit somewhat fascinating and mesmirizing profiles). And both of yours basically send the same message--"Go Away-you scare me so I'll scare you first" Sorry to be so blunt, but surely you see that? Its a fair comment, Lex, maybe you could slightly improve your odds with a more inviting headline. I had many many more inviting headlines before I put that one up, and it never made a bit of difference. If something that innocuous scares them away, it's probably not someone I'm going to get along very well with, anyway.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Sat 08/13/11 03:48 PM
(doing best Bluto impression from Animal) "Christ! Four and a half years of Mingle down the drain. Might as well join the f*cking Peace Corps."

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:48 PM
This is about the people who contact me, which you already know if you read the aforementioned title as mentioned above. OK, here's the thing -- I get a fair amount of people contacting me on here, via e-mail, IM, nudges, whatever. A certain percentage of these are scammers, and (thanks to Mark and Charles and their crew) I can usually get them nuked within 45 seconds. As for the ones who are not (or who cannot definitively be proven to be) scammers, I notice a disconcerting sameness in them. Many of the messages are extremely brief (I had one this morning that said "Can I know u?"), poorly written, completely devoid of any signs of useful information or a functioning brain stem, and from people who are very very far away. I rarely hear from anyone who actually has anything to say, or the literacy skills to say it. And this puzzles me, because nowhere in my profile (I think -- I mean, the damn thing is so long I rarely go in there myself anymore) does it say "Please contact me if your writing is so garbled and incomprehensible that it will give me a massive headache." Statistically, it seems to me that the odds SHOULD be that at least one genuine prospect should have contacted me by now, seeing that I've been here 4 1/2 years. Math was never my best subject, though, so I may not know what I'm talking about. It would certainly not be the first time. And there are many locals on this site; I see them floating through "People You Might Be Interested In" every day. When I look at their profiles, though, it always says "Last Seen Shortly After The Civil War" or something along those lines. I just don't understand what makes me attractive to someone whose most creative act in life was opening a bag of Ruffles Potato Chips. George Costanza said it best: "When I like them, they don't like me...and when they like me, I don't like them." OMG, I'm George Costanza.... Well if anyone compatible was actually thinking about contacting you then reading the above should put the kibosh on it. Hey, it's reverse psychology. You never know.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:49 PM
(doing best Bluto impression from Animal) "Christ! Four and a half years of Mingle down the drain. Might as well join the f*cking Peace Corps." I don't think you can get Ruffles over in Burundi.

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Sat 08/13/11 03:49 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. don't you just love those ones, mine always say they read my profile and then ask if i am single????? Perhaps they have short term memory loss. Lex you keep us constantly amused.

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:53 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. don't you just love those ones, mine always say they read my profile and then ask if i am single????? Perhaps they have short term memory loss. Lex you keep us constantly amused. I like to think of it as a public service. STAY IN SCHOOL

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sat 08/13/11 03:54 PM
BTW, I changed my profile headline. The new one is longer, but more accurate, and slightly less ironic, probably.

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Sat 08/13/11 03:59 PM
I have never in my life opened up a bag of Ruffles. If i could buy them here i would go and buy a pack now so i can refer to myself as an artist. There is definitely a knack to that. Fox is going to do a new reality show called "America's Got Ruffles," the whole point of which is to see who can open the bag the most artistically. Sounds like the next big show to hit our televisions. I am really looking forward to "Britain's Got Pringles", and i think that "Germany's Got Bockwurst" should be subtitled for us English speakers. There is always a chance Lex, that your Maths is correct, and you are just a little overdue for that contact with a truly genuine prospect. As unlikely as it might seem, it could happen at any moment in time. There is always a chance too that it might never happen, but then you cant go on thinking like that. Yeah, but when 90% of them start out with "I read your profile and I loved it!!!!! Where are you and what do you do?" it's kind of disturbing. Either they didn't read it at all, or they have some overwhelming short-term memory issues. I mean, I only mention my books about once ever other sentence in there. You can forgive a woman for not reading the whole thing. Maybe they get so aroused reading it they cannot help but email you before finishing it! And at least you do get mail, you probably get more than a lot of people. I get absolutely NO email on here at all, my inbox is literally empty. This is a good thing for me given my circumstances, but if i was looking to meet someone my chances would actually be zero. You at least have a sniff. Too aroused. Yeah. That's It. btw Dan, does not your profile headline state "Read My Profile and then Bugger Off!" ? D'ya think THAT might explain the lack of messages? Possibly? Perhaps being your obedient minions,we read and then obey. Well yes, but Lex is saying that people don't read profiles, so on that basis i should get at least some emails. Although probably the main reason i get no email is because i'm in the UK and wont appear in most peoples searches. Plus the fact i am butt ugly of course. I think it's because everyone knows you're taken. All of the homewreckers have signed up with eHarmony now. My point is they DO read the headlines even if not the whole lengthy (albeit somewhat fascinating and mesmirizing profiles). And both of yours basically send the same message--"Go Away-you scare me so I'll scare you first" Sorry to be so blunt, but surely you see that? Its a fair comment, Lex, maybe you could slightly improve your odds with a more inviting headline. I had many many more inviting headlines before I put that one up, and it never made a bit of difference. If something that innocuous scares them away, it's probably not someone I'm going to get along very well with, anyway. Has the rest of your profile ever been more inviting? i.e just a couple of well written and consise paragraphs, without all the added extras. Not that it probably makes any difference. The main barrier you are facing here is yourself. Have you ever thought of having a lobotomy?

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Sat 08/13/11 04:01 PM
BTW, I changed my profile headline. The new one is longer, but more accurate, and slightly less ironic, probably. I like it! Top marks for not specifying breast size.