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| Topic: independent ladies | |
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I used to think that men were not attracted to "clinging vines", but it was that "clinging vine" my ex-husband fell in love with. I have learned that being capable and strong is a good thing as long as you can find that balance. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize that men "need" to be needed. Allowing a man to do what he does best, whether it is protect me from a snake or spider, repair a leaky faucet or change the oil in my car, or whatever he WANTS to do for me - I allow him to do it. Could I do it myself? Sure. But I have come to appreciate men for their abilities so much more, especially the fact that they want to do it because it comes from their heart. Sorry for rambling - not sure if that even made sense 
"If more men would stand up & become men, then more women would sit down & become ladies". I think some of us women (myself included) need to respect men and allow them to be men, while we sit down and allow ourselves to become ladies. JMHO 
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. I disagree.. I think if you asked men to be honest they would tell you that having an independent woman as a girlfriend or wife is better than having someone that needs constant attention and babysitting. I don't need a babysitter and neither should the woman I'm with. |
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I always thought Independence was being self sufficiant there are degrees though,, like extremes of being 'religious' 1.some are self sufficient but able to appreciate and (As someone else so eloquently put it) 'allow' others to do for them 2.some are so self sufficient that they feel threatened, insulted, or nervous about letting anyone else do what they can 'do for themself' basically, their partners are either the type who wish to be either 1) parasites in their life (taking and never giving) 2) a witness to their life (taking nor giving, continuing with their own life and ways and leaving the independent partner alone until/unless they are called upon) or 3) a participant in their life (giving some, taking some, sharing as much as is comfortable) ....I think those problems occur when a number 3 partner gets with a number 2 independent woman,,, |
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Why so many independent women are single ? is it because they choose to be or are they simply struggling to find love ? being single creates independence |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. I regretfully join your thought!!! |
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Why so many independent women are single ? is it because they choose to be or are they simply struggling to find love ? being single creates independence I totally agree with you ... |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. LOL, so true! Nothing makes a man feel more manly than a woman "acting" like they need us. May it be squishing a big ugly spider (even though it may me a simple little daddy longleg), to taking the trash out. Not only is it what we enjoy doing for our ladies, but it certainly does help our confidence that we are fulfilling the little tiny bit of "needs" she may want from us. LOL - Josh Taking out the trash and getting rid of a spider really does it for you guys, huh? 
Most of the guys I dated were to lazy to take out the trash, and were more afraid of the spiders (or snakes). They really didn't like when I requested that they not squash them. |
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Perhaps. However, it is still JUST the feeling. OK, you KNOW your man loves you. However, you still enjoy when he brings home a nice bouquet of flowers, no? Same would go for the trash. I LOVE taking out the trash for a woman. Why? I KNOW she would never consider doing it, nor would I ever expect her to do so. Wait, a woman never considers taking out the trash? Since when? Well, not that we are "supposed" to know in the first place. And yes, I believe if she has to, then there is something else within the relationship that may be a problem that needs to be dealt with. However, I am not speaking of first times here. I am merely speaking of an already developed relationship. You are absolutely correct that if/when a woman needs to, then there is something that needs discussion. I was just merely speaking of women who are within an already developed relationship whom may have other priorities to which they may need the "deed" done earlier than usual. I do agree with you, however this does still happen in EXTREMELY healthy relationships.
I mean, I guess if someone is not really enjoying the sex or just not that into it, she could fake an orgasm to get it overwith. But that doesn't sound like much fun to me. |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. I disagree.. I think if you asked men to be honest they would tell you that having an independent woman as a girlfriend or wife is better than having someone that needs constant attention and babysitting. I don't need a babysitter and neither should the woman I'm with. I did only say some men. I'd be much more into a guy who is ok with an independent woman who doesn't need every little thing done for her, rather than a guy who feels the need to baby the woman he's with. So, this is what I'd much rather here. |
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Why so many independent women are single ? is it because they choose to be or are they simply struggling to find love ? Top 5 needs of women 1 Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her. 2 Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported. 3 Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust. 4 Financial support Many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides. 5 Family commitment A woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family. Top 5 needs of Men 1 Sexual fulfilment Most women can go without sex for months, but for men, it’s pure torture. In fact, they would probably do it all the time if they had their way. 2 Recreational companionship Even after marriage, couples should make an effort to involve themselves in their spouses’ activities. 3 An attractive spouse A man needs a wife who looks good to him. 4 Domestic support Most men like having domestic chores like cooking and cleaning done for them. 5 Admiration Men want their wives to be proud of them. So when you tell your husband that he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more. Independent women don't have the same needs as other women and they don't fulfill the needs of the man they are with. Independent women work best with Beta Males who get sexual stimulation from being treated poorly and having their needs ignored or enjoys a mother / son relationship. I'm sorry but I respectfully disagree. The list you cited was most likely created for the general massess as a guideline for those who need them. Most independent women are alpha females. You want to see sparks, put an alpha female with an alpha male. The sex is amazing, the life goals unstoppable and the communication and honesty are second to none. Maybe their just aren't enough alpha males around. 
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Why so many independent women are single ? is it because they choose to be or are they simply struggling to find love ? Simple; men are intimidated by independent women. Every guy I have met in the last 18 years has told me that. They want a needy dependent woman, and of course someone that isn't intelligent. |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. LOL, so true! Nothing makes a man feel more manly than a woman "acting" like they need us. May it be squishing a big ugly spider (even though it may me a simple little daddy longleg), to taking the trash out. Not only is it what we enjoy doing for our ladies, but it certainly does help our confidence that we are fulfilling the little tiny bit of "needs" she may want from us. LOL - Josh My friend's wife calls him while he is on duty as a firefighter to come home and take out the trash. Very pathetic actually. Some of my best male friends are mature enough to accept that an independent woman isn't a scary thing but a partner; one to share the workload. I wonder what happens to a man when he gets seriously injured and is unable to do anything for his lady while laid up? Would he be less of a man for this? Will nothing get done because he can't do it? Or would he be smart enough to know his lady can do things for herself in an emergency? Common sense would dictate that both people should be able to do things for themselves as there are times that your partner can't be there for you. Nothing is guaranteed in life that men will always be the protecter or be able to do things for his lady. You should work as a team and put your ego in check. |
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its hard to go from independent to inter dependent
its harder to share what you have and what you want with another rather than having complete control of it yourself ,,I just think its hard to hand over the 'control' we have over our own life to a relationship with someone else and all the compromise and sharing it involves,,, Especially when you've had to fight so hard to become independent. Both statements are too true. When you have been in a controlling relationship which usually contains some kind of abuse, it is really REALLY hard to relinquish the control at any level once you have it back. There is a role change that has been happening in this country. The men as head of the household with a subservient wife is almost no more. So men are going to have to establish their roles when they meet women and then see if it is something they can be comfortable with. Sharing bills and housework is probably pretty norm nowadays. I have found that sharing the remote is probably not ever happening....lol |
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Edited by
indianadave4
on
Fri 07/15/11 06:40 PM
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As single people age we become ever more independant: possibly to independant. At this point I can and do take care of myself. I dated a lady for a while and never asked her to do anything for me. Of the single men and women I know of my age most are the same. It appears the only thing we need each other for is romance and sex.
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Why so many independent women are single ? is it because they choose to be or are they simply struggling to find love ? Top 5 needs of women 1 Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her. 2 Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported. 3 Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust. 4 Financial support Many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides. 5 Family commitment A woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family. Top 5 needs of Men 1 Sexual fulfilment Most women can go without sex for months, but for men, it’s pure torture. In fact, they would probably do it all the time if they had their way. 2 Recreational companionship Even after marriage, couples should make an effort to involve themselves in their spouses’ activities. 3 An attractive spouse A man needs a wife who looks good to him. 4 Domestic support Most men like having domestic chores like cooking and cleaning done for them. 5 Admiration Men want their wives to be proud of them. So when you tell your husband that he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more. Independent women don't have the same needs as other women and they don't fulfill the needs of the man they are with. Independent women work best with Beta Males who get sexual stimulation from being treated poorly and having their needs ignored or enjoys a mother / son relationship. Many women want the same things on the list you have for men. And why would you think independent women treat men poorly? |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. LOL, so true! Nothing makes a man feel more manly than a woman "acting" like they need us. May it be squishing a big ugly spider (even though it may me a simple little daddy longleg), to taking the trash out. Not only is it what we enjoy doing for our ladies, but it certainly does help our confidence that we are fulfilling the little tiny bit of "needs" she may want from us. LOL - Josh My friend's wife calls him while he is on duty as a firefighter to come home and take out the trash. Very pathetic actually. Some of my best male friends are mature enough to accept that an independent woman isn't a scary thing but a partner; one to share the workload. I wonder what happens to a man when he gets seriously injured and is unable to do anything for his lady while laid up? Would he be less of a man for this? Will nothing get done because he can't do it? Or would he be smart enough to know his lady can do things for herself in an emergency? Common sense would dictate that both people should be able to do things for themselves as there are times that your partner can't be there for you. Nothing is guaranteed in life that men will always be the protecter or be able to do things for his lady. You should work as a team and put your ego in check. |
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"all by myself, don't want to be, all by myself, anymore"
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. LOL, so true! Nothing makes a man feel more manly than a woman "acting" like they need us. May it be squishing a big ugly spider (even though it may me a simple little daddy longleg), to taking the trash out. Not only is it what we enjoy doing for our ladies, but it certainly does help our confidence that we are fulfilling the little tiny bit of "needs" she may want from us. LOL - Josh My friend's wife calls him while he is on duty as a firefighter to come home and take out the trash. Very pathetic actually. Some of my best male friends are mature enough to accept that an independent woman isn't a scary thing but a partner; one to share the workload. I wonder what happens to a man when he gets seriously injured and is unable to do anything for his lady while laid up? Would he be less of a man for this? Will nothing get done because he can't do it? Or would he be smart enough to know his lady can do things for herself in an emergency? Common sense would dictate that both people should be able to do things for themselves as there are times that your partner can't be there for you. Nothing is guaranteed in life that men will always be the protecter or be able to do things for his lady. You should work as a team and put your ego in check. Exactly. I let guys do things for me as long as they let me do things for them. Its a partnership and we should be there to support each other. My problem is I can't find anyone that thinks the same as I do; so I gave up the whole dating scence. Its one thing to compromise but I shouldn't have to change who I am to accomodate a man's ego. |
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. I disagree.. I think if you asked men to be honest they would tell you that having an independent woman as a girlfriend or wife is better than having someone that needs constant attention and babysitting. I don't need a babysitter and neither should the woman I'm with. Wow, finally a man that gets it!! 
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sat 07/16/11 08:16 AM
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I think some men just don't feel comfortable around independent women. They don't feel needed enough, therefor feel less manly. I disagree.. I think if you asked men to be honest they would tell you that having an independent woman as a girlfriend or wife is better than having someone that needs constant attention and babysitting. I don't need a babysitter and neither should the woman I'm with. Wow, finally a man that gets it!!
I wonder if any other men in here agree with him. Not many seem to.. |
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