Because Spider thought that "independent women" were women who didn't think men have anything to offer.

I have found that alot of people.....men and women alike........Don't stop to ask one question...Being...What path has your life taken you that you have ended up so independent???? I feel that I am a very independent woman but on the other hand companionship is a real comfort.......

I surmize it's because listening to the answer to the question "what path etc." can potentially tie you down for several decades if you are to give an honest listening to it.

"Everybody likes to talk, and people only listen to seem polite and to be liked, because they figure that popular (liked) people are listened to more."

This is the potent addictive ingredient within Internet forums. You have the floor; nobody can interrupt you; and you have the impression the whole worlds is watching (not necessarily watching you, though; could be Superbowl night).

I like to live financially independent, however i appreciate a man who can take care of my needs, if he can spoil me and fix things for me...i like that in a man. . . i dont need him to pay for my car or my rent...but if he wants to fix my car, or my sink....thats manly and i like a manly man....I am smart but not so smart i cant live co-dependently. . .I mean i probably could hire someone to do stuff around the house but what is a man good for then...you can't just make love all the time...

You know what I expect from a woman? I expect her to concern herself with my needs first. And I'll do the same for her. That's how I think relationships should work. If you don't agree, then we disagree, simple as that.



I agree with that line of thinking. If we each put our mate first than everything else balances out.

...and you're not blind yet??

Yeah, yeah... but it's hard to go to the washroom for your loved one when she has to go.

And to add insult to injury, sometimes there ain't no tissue on the roll.

Well. What do you call that?

True... I still have my eyesight, so I can't fall in love yet

I aim wankering myself into shape to fall in love.

When the bull is lead out into pastures, and the bees are laden with pollen in the richness of the summer; when the birds are singing their tunes to attract a mate, and are coupling up for life to multiply their numbers by hatching their eggs and feeding their young; when unicorns work in volunteer jobs at marshmallow roasting in chilren's camps at bonefires;

Heck, I forgot my point. I am very tired.

What I wouldn't give to garner enough self-discipline to leave the forum right now!!

I'm sorry girls...but I'm going to interject here. I've read EVERYTHIng in these post up to this comment. I'm wondering why you took his list so personal? I understood all of it from the beginning and I didn't take any of it personal . Ya'all have cut him a new a hole for speaking his mind. From what I've seen you jumped on him from his first comment. Like Krupps said Why you have to be so serious?? . For goodness sake, let someone have an oppinion eh. .

Sorry...now I'll get off my horse

Agreed but companionship can also come from friends and family. It doesn't necessarily have to be a lover or a relationship. JMO

I would put my job and my health first before anything or anyone else. Contrary to what everyone thinks; you can't live on love and there are no guarantees in life that your mate will be there for you when you need them. Sorry but I have to be practical about life. There are no fairy tale endings in real life.

SOL

I beg to differ. When you put the needs of others before the needs of yourself, you will be rewarded. An egotistical person is not someone that I would want as a partner. Many times practicallity leads to bitterness. An open minded person will more likely find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Actually here is a quote from just one of the sites I was researching about putting yourself first. People who spend time bettering themselves have happier unions than those who always put their partner's needs first. "When you develop your own interests (cooking, learning a foreign language), you have more to teach the other person," says Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., of Monmouth University in New Jersey. "Your bond will improve because you're adding new layers and depth to it. This professor is one of many that state things like this as well they state that a partner will feel resentment after awhile putting someone else's needs first. Makes sense to me.

This is by Charly Emery:
I bet you’re wondering what is the distinction between putting you first and being selfish - do you think they’re are same thing? I got news for you; they are not. Now don’t you think there’s a reason why when you are on an airplane they tell you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? There’s a reason for that, because you need to have enough oxygen to make sure that the help that you need to give to someone else will be there, and the same thing goes for you. If you don’t take care of yourself and you don’t figure out how to be your best no matter what you are giving to other people, it’s always less than what you could give.
So putting yourself is actually not about being selfish; it’s about looking more long-term. It’s about identifying who it is that you want to be and how you want to operate in the world and making sure that you can actually be that person and do that.


Also if I don't put my health first; I could die so I can't put anything in the relationship at all.

Agreed, how can anyone be happy with a grump in the room. Pleasing yourself is pleasing to others...

Yep hard to make someone else happy if you aren't.

yep, or they will just call you a debbie downer....so who wins then...no-one...

As they say, how can you love someone else when you can't love yourself

I was just going to say comment that about loving yourself.

But, if you're always putting your partner's needs before yours and that's the way they want it, aren't they a bit egotistical?