"Find my soul and I'm yours forever!"


Are you looking for a preacher?

"Women often ask, 'What do men 'really' want, deep in their souls?' The best answer, based on in-depth analysis of the complex and subtle interplay of thought, instinct, and emotion that constitutes the male psyche, is that, deep in their souls, men want to watch stuff go 'bang"."


**laughing, wiping tears from eyes**

Thank you.

"FYI: I DO SHAVE MY HEAD AND HAVE ALL MY TEETH"


Yes, but do you have to retrieve your teeth from the coffee table when company suddenly knocks on front door?

"I RATHER TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF IN PERSON ANYONE CAN WRITE ANYTHING JUST TO MAKE THEM SELF LOOK OR SOUND GOOD."


You haven't been here very long, have you?

"Someone wise enough to have sex for marriage."


An ancient technique associated with the barter system. Success rate drops substantially when one or both parties involved are over the age of twenty-five.

"Janet, where did you go?"


How am I supposed to know?

"I write left handed, throw a football/softball left handed, play golf right handed, shoot a basket ball right handed, bowl right handed, hit a baseball left handed, play tennis left handed and I am right footed?
Figure that one out"


Ambidextrous. Now, the foot thing you will have to figure out on your own.

"...yet is comfortable with that uncomfortable silence,"


Oh sure, that makes perfect sense....

"It’s OK if we are not compatible, that is why we are here."


Backward logic. How's that working for ya'?

"personality well i consider myself the strong silent type and that can differ depending on who i am around and hanging out with i dont party unless there is a holiday party or a special birthday or wedding party going on i dont go to clubs over did that scene when i was in my 20's you ask how does little z use his free time i like "to travel when i can in the past year i have traveled most of texas west of the i 45 corridor from port aransas to dallas to el paso and into most of new mexico east of i 25 i enjoy photography when the mood strikes me to snap some photos from wildflowers to scenic vistas in my travels i am looking for that special woman who can enjoy my intrests along with bringing me some new interests of her own i am looking for a woman who is open to new things and adventure i am not looking for a controlling or possesive person or someone that needs 24hr attn i dont use drugs,dont smoke and drink on the rare occasion im looking for the same in a woman if you chain smoke or drink a case of beer every week your not for me in closing the way most people see me is that im honest,trustworthy,hard working,hard headed at times and sweet at least thats what i have been told by various people that have crossed my path ."


**Consulting with Guinness**

"Um-hm. So this IS the longest run-on sentence in the history of the English language? Marvelous. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me what the price of a bullet is so I can put myself out of my misery..."

"im looking for a serious fun loving gal who will make me feel like im flying and never have to come down"


So, you're looking for a pilot? Or, are you looking for one of them special uh, 'street chemists'?

"I love dogs and have two a doberman and chihuahua mix,..."


Let's add this to the list of things I never wanted to visualize.

"I am Dead Broke, completely selfish, and I never ever do whats best for the other person... I have no desire to have (meaning I cant get) a girlfriend which is good because I also have a small d*** that can't last for more than 7 seconds... (...even less time when a woman is involved) I am a very direct person.. With what has been called an "Absolute Zero" sense of humor.. And when I walk the street people throw change at me..."


I knew it was only a matter of time before I found my ex-husband on a dating site.

"Lastly.. If you can accept that relationships are different than they were 70 years ago.. we will get along great! I don't want to hear "But my grand parents are still happily married Might be true.. but they used rotary phones too.. Telegraphs are no longer used to communicate. So if you are "An old Fashioned girl, who still feels alone" its because you have not realized this.

Seriously.. you read this far?? how many times have you called me A-hole? if you did-ent you are full of awesomeness!!"


The above is a prime example of why some people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

"I don't drink all the time but whenI do drink I get smashed but I wont be a douche."


Well, as long as you won't be a douche...

"I use to make good money now I make enough for a pot to piss in."


I think you meant, "I don't have a pot to piss in." If, however, you did indeed mean that you made enough money to buy a toilet type receptacle... um, congratulations?

"In some ways I think I'm undatable but I still hold my breath under water."


Still?

Classic!

Too funny!

"I like to go to the movies or dinner ones in a while."


Dinner ones, lunch ones, as long as it has a good plot.