8. HITTING BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIESA child's memories of being spanked can scar otherwise joyful scenes of growing up. People are more likely to recall traumatic events than pleasant ones. I grew up in a very nurturing home, but I was occasionally and "deservedly" spanked. I vividly remember the willow branch scenes. After my wrongdoing my grandfather would send me to my room and tell me I was going to receive a spanking. I remember looking out the window, seeing him walk across the lawn and take a willow branch from the tree and come back to my room and spank me across the back of my thighs with the branch. The willow branch seemed to be an effective spanking tool because it stung and made an impression upon me— physically and mentally. Although I remember growing up in a loving home, I don't remember specific happy scenes with nearly as much detail as I remember the spanking scenes. I have always thought that one of our goals as parents is to fill our children's memory bank with hundreds, perhaps thousands, of pleasant scenes. It's amazing how the unpleasant memories of spankings can block out those positive memories.
ABUSIVE HITTING HAS BAD LONG-TERM EFFECTS
Research has shown that spanking may leave scars deeper and more lasting than a fleeting redness of the bottom. Here is a summary of the research on the long-term effects of corporal punishment:

* In a prospective study spanning nineteen years, researchers found that children who were raised in homes with a lot of corporal punishment, turned out to be more antisocial and egocentric, and that physical violence became the accepted norm for these children when they became teenagers and adults.
* College students showed more psychological disturbances if they grew up in a home with less praise, more scolding, more corporal punishment, and more verbal abuse.
* A survey of 679 college students showed that those who recall being spanked as children accepted spanking as a way of discipline and intended to spank their own children. Students who were not spanked as children were significantly less accepting of the practice than those who were spanked. The spanked students also reported remembering that their parents were angry during the spanking; they remembered both the spanking and the attitude with which it was administered.
* Spanking seems to have the most negative long-term effects when it replaces positive communication with the child. Spanking had less damaging long-term effects if given in a loving home and nurturing environment.
* A study of the effects of physical punishment on children's later aggressive behavior showed that the more frequently a child was given physical punishment, the more likely it was that he would behave aggressively toward other family members and peers. Spanking caused less aggression if it was done in an overall nurturing environment and the child was always given a rational explanation of why the spanking occurred.
* A study to determine whether hand slapping had any long-term effects showed that toddlers who were punished with a light slap on the hand showed delayed exploratory development seven months later.
* Adults who received a lot of physical punishment as teenagers had a rate of spouse-beating that was four times greater than those whose parents did not hit them.
* Husbands who grew up in severely violent homes are six times more likely to beat their wives than men raised in non-violent homes.
* More than 1 out of 4 parents who had grown up in a violent home were violent enough to risk seriously injuring their child.
* Studies of prison populations show that most violent criminals grew up in a violent home environment.
* The life history of notorious, violent criminals, murderers, muggers, rapists, etc., are likely to show a history of excessive physical discipline in childhood.


The evidence against spanking is overwhelming. Hundreds of studies all come to the same conclusions:
1. The more physical punishment a child receives, the more aggressive he or she will become.
2. The more children are spanked, the more likely they will be abusive toward their own children.
3. Spanking plants seeds for later violent behavior.4.Spanking doesn't work.

I am a spanked child, I am far from an angry adult
anger is natural though, I have no problem with a child getting angry anyore than getting sad, it is a part of life we all must learn to deal with

SPANKING DOESN'T WORKMany studies show the futility of spanking as a disciplinary technique, but none show its usefulness. In the past thirty years in pediatric practice, we have observed thousands of families who have tried spanking and found it doesn't work. Our general impression is that parents spank less as their experience increases. Spanking doesn't work for the child, for the parents, or for society. Spanking does not promote good behavior, it creates a distance between parent and child, and it contributes to a violent society. Parents who rely on punishment as their primary mode of discipline don't grow in their knowledge of their child. It keeps them from creating better alternatives, which would help them to know their child and build a better relationship. In the process of raising our own eight children, we have also concluded that spanking doesn't work. We found ourselves spanking less and less as our experience and the number of children increased. In our home, we have programmed ourselves against spanking and are committed to creating an attitude within our children, and an atmosphere within our home, that renders spanking unnecessary. Since spanking is not an option, we have been forced to come up with better alternatives. This has not only made us better parents, but in the long run we believe it has created more sensitive and well-behaved children.

Spanking equals violence and violence is not love in any form.

taking things equals theft and theft is always wrong
making someone remain in a chair or room equalsforced imprisonment and forced imprisonment is always wrong

adults cant do these things to adults
and children cant do these things to children
so parents shouldnt be doing them to their children

I guess the whole world has to come up with some more pleasant ways to discipline so we wont have so many rebellious, angry , violent adults,,,

Actually the 24 countries that have banned spanking already have.

As we evolve into more mindful creatures we will learn to teach our children without violence.

Even stupid traditions die a hard death and this tradition is completely absurd.

I hit you to show you that I love you.

I hit you for your betterment.

Ok spanking = violence, so we let our children do what they want and the only thing they have to worry about is that they might get grounded. You know with all the video games, stereos, television shows, books and whatnot. What a horrible punishment that is.

Better yet, let's make the parent sit in time out with the child to make sure that the child actually takes time out.

What happens when your child doesn't care about being grounded or being put in time out?

Let's try taking away a favorite item, oops thats theft so can't do that.

Let's try a stern talking to, the child then goes into a tirade about what a horrible parent you are and ends up making you feel guilty.

My mom spanked me 4 times in my life, she was also the one who basically lived in the hospital with me when I was hit by a car, she was also the one who sat up with me all night long when I started having nightmares from being raped. But I guess she couldnt possibly haved loved me cuz she spanked me.

No one will win this debate so i'm going to bow out since now it's just people arguing back and forth. For any parent that is interested, don't spank your kids, no matter how wonderful a parent you are, you will be considered a monster if you spank your child.

its ok with me,,,much like my mom would have been willing to be jailed for disciplining us , I am willing to be seen as that monster in return for raising happy, well adjusted, law abiding, high functioning adults

the proof is in the pudding, and in our family its all good

doesnt explain or prove much, places like Japan and Hong Kong still use paddling and spanking and I am sure they have much less violent crime than most if not all those countries which ban spanking

I ahve both been spanked and abused as a child and know the difference between the two. I did not look at my grandmother spanking me as abuse but as a correction. Now that was a spanking on the rear and she only apanked me twice in my life and I did deserve it. As for the abuse part have been punched hit over the head with a hammer, beat up for not learning to ride my bicycle the way another wanted me to so on and so forth. That is abuse....there is a difference and I wont argue the difference. I chew my nails out of anxiety over it but do truly understand there is a difference in the two. This is my last comment on the subject as I do not wish to be drawn into an argumentative state either.