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Topic: Being Upfront
buttons's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:36 AM
Edited by buttons on Mon 06/15/09 11:39 AM
my definition of a good relationship is... two people working together to both be happy with each other, not one person being happy and the other one miserable.. if you loce someone you would not like the other person to feel miserable and at least try to do something a bit different so that both are happy

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:36 AM






Sometimes, silence is the best communicator, when you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. :wink:
that is true especially when you are angry the wrong words can come out lol.... but doesnt mean you should never talk about the problem... for without talking about it , it can never be resolved, and relationships do take lots of effort on both sides


Exactly.

But what if only one party thinks there are issues? The other party is perfectly fine with things continuing how they are, what then?


Isn't that why it's better to be able to talk about things? Otherwise, one will wondering if something's wrong.


but that's my question -

one person has a problem
the other does not

why drag me down with you and your problem (hypothetically speaking of course)



Why does it have to be dragging someone down? Can't it be discussed like adults?

italio69's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:36 AM
silence is golden

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:37 AM
Edited by adj4u on Mon 06/15/09 11:38 AM





but you asked why men avoid confrontation....not why men can't have a conversation.



I believe it was clarified later in the thread by me and others.


yep you changed direction in mid thread then accuse the poster for their posts of not understanding

when you did not understand what you posted

if you did you would not have had to



I believe it was clarified later in the thread by me and others.





Well, I explained what I meant, since some were not understanding.


that does not change the conversation we had nor the things you said to me

auburngirl's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:39 AM

And some women can talk a thing to death. It isn't all that complicated. They say what they mean not some underlying dig that we need to psycho analyze at every turn. When we realize that when a man says "Baby pass the remote" it means simply he is going to watch his game. Not, as we would think it, OMG what have I done that he doesn't want to talk and share and be with me yadda yadda yadda.

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:40 AM


And some women can talk a thing to death. It isn't all that complicated. They say what they mean not some underlying dig that we need to psycho analyze at every turn. When we realize that when a man says "Baby pass the remote" it means simply he is going to watch his game. Not, as we would think it, OMG what have I done that he doesn't want to talk and share and be with me yadda yadda yadda.




You need to be cloned... Seriously!

italio69's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:41 AM



And some women can talk a thing to death. It isn't all that complicated. They say what they mean not some underlying dig that we need to psycho analyze at every turn. When we realize that when a man says "Baby pass the remote" it means simply he is going to watch his game. Not, as we would think it, OMG what have I done that he doesn't want to talk and share and be with me yadda yadda yadda.




You need to be cloned... Seriously!
yes:thumbsup:

franshade's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:41 AM







Sometimes, silence is the best communicator, when you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. :wink:
that is true especially when you are angry the wrong words can come out lol.... but doesnt mean you should never talk about the problem... for without talking about it , it can never be resolved, and relationships do take lots of effort on both sides


Exactly.

But what if only one party thinks there are issues? The other party is perfectly fine with things continuing how they are, what then?


Isn't that why it's better to be able to talk about things? Otherwise, one will wondering if something's wrong.


but that's my question -

one person has a problem
the other does not

why drag me down with you and your problem (hypothetically speaking of course)



and the one with the problem is the one that starts the confrontation

and that is not the person not talking

I must have this all wrong (surprise surprise) :laughing:

I understood the person with the question was the one with the problem as he/she was looking for answers.

The other party remained quiet, did not partake in conversation, upsetting 1st party. Therefore the 1st party is upset, looking for answers started confrontation



no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:43 AM
I think adj just wants to argue. laugh

auburngirl's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:45 AM




And some women can talk a thing to death. It isn't all that complicated. They say what they mean not some underlying dig that we need to psycho analyze at every turn. When we realize that when a man says "Baby pass the remote" it means simply he is going to watch his game. Not, as we would think it, OMG what have I done that he doesn't want to talk and share and be with me yadda yadda yadda.




You need to be cloned... Seriously!
yes:thumbsup:




no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:45 AM
Edited by Unknow on Mon 06/15/09 11:46 AM
Maybe the sound of her voice is so grating to him at the moment that he is choosing ignore as a better option than homicide... or going out and getting drunk and meeting a floozy...

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:46 AM
Edited by adj4u on Mon 06/15/09 11:48 AM








Sometimes, silence is the best communicator, when you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. :wink:
that is true especially when you are angry the wrong words can come out lol.... but doesnt mean you should never talk about the problem... for without talking about it , it can never be resolved, and relationships do take lots of effort on both sides


Exactly.

But what if only one party thinks there are issues? The other party is perfectly fine with things continuing how they are, what then?


Isn't that why it's better to be able to talk about things? Otherwise, one will wondering if something's wrong.


but that's my question -

one person has a problem
the other does not

why drag me down with you and your problem (hypothetically speaking of course)



and the one with the problem is the one that starts the confrontation

and that is not the person not talking

I must have this all wrong (surprise surprise) :laughing:

I understood the person with the question was the one with the problem as he/she was looking for answers.

The other party remained quiet, did not partake in conversation, upsetting 1st party. Therefore the 1st party is upset, looking for answers started confrontation





exactly

the one with the issue started the confrontation

that is obvious (or should be)

they are assuming there is a problem

more than likely they (the one not talking)will say there is no problem or something similar (and the other party will not drop it usually)



adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:47 AM

I think adj just wants to argue. laugh


i am trying to comunicate

and you are being confrontational

be careful what you wish for

:wink: :wink:

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

buttons's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:47 AM

I think adj just wants to argue. laugh
i think he is trying to communicate his feelings is alllaugh

buttons's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:48 AM


I think adj just wants to argue. laugh


i am trying to comunicate

and you are being confrontational

be careful what you wish for

:wink: :wink:

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
laugh laugh oops too latelaugh laugh

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:49 AM


I think adj just wants to argue. laugh
i think he is trying to communicate his feelings is alllaugh


I was joking, for the most part :wink:.

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:52 AM



I think adj just wants to argue. laugh
i think he is trying to communicate his feelings is alllaugh


I was joking, for the most part :wink:.


you mean like i was on my first post

where the multiple laughing emoticons were in the post

and yet it was taken to heart

:wink: drinker

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:54 AM




I think adj just wants to argue. laugh
i think he is trying to communicate his feelings is alllaugh


I was joking, for the most part :wink:.


you mean like i was on my first post

where the multiple laughing emoticons were in the post

and yet it was taken to heart

:wink: drinker


huh

buttons's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:58 AM

Maybe the sound of her voice is so grating to him at the moment that he is choosing ignore as a better option than homicide... or going out and getting drunk and meeting a floozy...
laugh laugh

franshade's photo
Mon 06/15/09 11:58 AM


Maybe the sound of her voice is so grating to him at the moment that he is choosing ignore as a better option than homicide... or going out and getting drunk and meeting a floozy...
laugh laugh
:laughing:

can work either way, his voice grates her nerves :laughing:

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