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Topic: Being Upfront
yellowrose10's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:45 AM


singmesweet..is there a particular example????

i do know that (for example) a guy say it's just not working (in a relationship) the girl might wants to be confrontational. it's hard for anyone to know if someone just wants to talk or they want to fight. emotions are involved a lot of times...and some people don't want to hear the truth


No particular example.

What do you suggest, though? A guy is worried a girl might have issues with the truth, so he doesn't say anything at all to avoid any confrontation? That's kind of silly.


there are some women that are drama queens and they don't want to hear anything except what they want to hear. same goes for men. my sister hates confrontations so much, she will let people walk all over her.

i would rather hear the truth. i may not like it but i know where someone stands and can deal with the truth. not everyone is that way. some will stalk, harass, badger...you name it. maybe they have dealt with one of these kinds and they are tired of the drama. some have been in relationships where they couldn't ask how the other's day went without a fight starting.

it's hard to say why men or women do it. some are players..who knows

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:45 AM


maybe that is why they do not comunicate

cause it is doesn't make sense

it really is not that complicated

explain why it does not make sense


You started off by saying it was the woman who causes the confrontation. Why do you think that's always the case?

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:46 AM


You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.


I do it, it is not all that easy either. Seems the majority of women I've dated don't like the honesty.ohwell


That's been my experience, too. The bottom line is that I'm supposed to want what THEY want. And sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Well, all the time, really.


yellowrose10's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:47 AM
I understand what adj is saying. he was responding to the OP talking about men avoiding confrontation like the plague

Gumbyvs's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:47 AM

You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.


I'm brutally honest at times, and I say it how it is. But most times when I'm upfront and honest about things, women I've dated get hurt because I tell em how I feel. So I can see why men avoid confrontation, well, that and the whole Bobbit thing.

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:48 AM



You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.


I do it, it is not all that easy either. Seems the majority of women I've dated don't like the honesty.ohwell


That's been my experience, too. The bottom line is that I'm supposed to want what THEY want. And sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Well, all the time, really.




the sad part....it impacts those that respect honesty whether we like it or not. ohwell

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:48 AM



maybe that is why they do not comunicate

cause it is doesn't make sense

it really is not that complicated

explain why it does not make sense


You started off by saying it was the woman who causes the confrontation. Why do you think that's always the case?


no you are taking it out of context

maybe another reason for lack of communication

i said if most men are avoiding confrontation it is obvious then that most confrontation must come from the female

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:49 AM
So I guess my question for the guys who don't like to tell women how they really feel cause they don't want to hurt them.. what do you do? Just avoid them until they go away?

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:49 AM
Edited by adj4u on Mon 06/15/09 10:51 AM
my first post --in response to the opening post

it really is not that complicated

no wonder men do not want to comunicate

:wink: laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


does this not mean that not all but a lot (actually most - your word)
of the confrontations must be brung to the forefront by the female in the mix then

after all if most mean do not want to be confrontational and do not want to tell you something because it may bring on a confrontation

it is obvious then that most confrontations must be initiated by the woman then

never thought i would see teh day two women would admit this in such a short time frame less than 3 minutes apart

honesty what a breath of fresh air

thank you ladies

flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou


:wink: :wink: laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:50 AM




maybe that is why they do not comunicate

cause it is doesn't make sense

it really is not that complicated

explain why it does not make sense


You started off by saying it was the woman who causes the confrontation. Why do you think that's always the case?


no you are taking it out of context

maybe another reason for lack of communication

i said if most men are avoiding confrontation it is obvious then that most confrontation must come from the female


My point was that some men avoid talking about anything all together. So, how would the confrontation come from the woman?

Jill298's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:50 AM

You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.
dealing with this right now actually :angry: grumble

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:51 AM

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:51 AM


You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.
dealing with this right now actually :angry: grumble


That sucks flowerforyou

Jill298's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:52 AM



You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.
dealing with this right now actually :angry: grumble


That sucks flowerforyou
yes... alot

adj4u's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:53 AM





maybe that is why they do not comunicate

cause it is doesn't make sense

it really is not that complicated

explain why it does not make sense


You started off by saying it was the woman who causes the confrontation. Why do you think that's always the case?


no you are taking it out of context

maybe another reason for lack of communication

i said if most men are avoiding confrontation it is obvious then that most confrontation must come from the female


My point was that some men avoid talking about anything all together. So, how would the confrontation come from the woman?


if the men are not talking where would the confrontation come from

the guy not talking

i think not


franshade's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:55 AM


You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.
dealing with this right now actually :angry: grumble

I'm sorry flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:55 AM






maybe that is why they do not comunicate

cause it is doesn't make sense

it really is not that complicated

explain why it does not make sense


You started off by saying it was the woman who causes the confrontation. Why do you think that's always the case?


no you are taking it out of context

maybe another reason for lack of communication

i said if most men are avoiding confrontation it is obvious then that most confrontation must come from the female


My point was that some men avoid talking about anything all together. So, how would the confrontation come from the woman?


if the men are not talking where would the confrontation come from

the guy not talking

i think not




I think you're missing the point. Talking would be a good thing.

lilith401's photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:56 AM
Robin.... you are NOT making any sense. None.

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:57 AM




You know what I'd like to see more of? Men being upfront and honest about things. Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but from what I've seen and what other women have told me, many men avoid confrontation like the plague. It isn't that difficult to just be upfront about what you're thinking. If something isn't working out, let us know. It can't be that hard.


I do it, it is not all that easy either. Seems the majority of women I've dated don't like the honesty.ohwell


That's been my experience, too. The bottom line is that I'm supposed to want what THEY want. And sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Well, all the time, really.




the sad part....it impacts those that respect honesty whether we like it or not. ohwell


Undoubtedly -- but it's hard to know who's who until it becomes clear that "Tell me what's on your mind" actually means "Tell me what I want to hear."

no photo
Mon 06/15/09 10:57 AM

Robin.... you are NOT making any sense. None.


I'm glad it's not just me.

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