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| Topic: Intellect: Turn-On or Intimidating? | |
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That's exactly what I was wondering. How a smart woman automatically = pushy, rude, *****y, etc. Thanks for the clarification! 
To all the smart chicks, find yourself a smart man. For all you guys who like smart chicks, you rock. Ya need to recruit, though. 
 The smartest (most educated) gal I ever had a relationship was VERY controlling.She acted like she was my mom or something. It didnt last long.
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To all the smart chicks, find yourself a smart man. For all you guys who like smart chicks, you rock. Ya need to recruit, though.
If only there was anyone to recruit within 897,000 miles of here! |
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That's exactly what I was wondering. How a smart woman automatically = pushy, rude, *****y, etc. Thanks for the clarification!
To all the smart chicks, find yourself a smart man. For all you guys who like smart chicks, you rock. Ya need to recruit, though.
The smartest (most educated) gal I ever had a relationship was VERY controlling.She acted like she was my mom or something. It didnt last long.
Not that I think I'm some genius or anything, but I'm also not stupid. Frankly...having at least a modest amount of intelligence AND having been single for years & having to "do it all" - getting an opportunity to NOT be pushy (basically running things and making all the decisions)is a fantastic break for me when it happens, although chances are I don't even realize when I'm just in my usual survival mode of trying to be in control. HELP! |
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So, my friend and I have had this ongoing argument that I hope you fine males can finally conclude for us. Ladies, please chime in with your opinions and experiences as well. When a woman is smart -- aka can carry a conversation about things beyond TV and shoes -- has a career, is educated, etc, are you more or less apt to be attracted to her? My opinion is you should be more attracted to her. Obviously she can support herself and isn't looking for a free ride or a sugar daddy. Also, she's interesting and unique, and guys, you can get a dumb mannequin anywhere. And a woman who is smart thinks of some VERY interesting things to do in bed. Plus, you can bring her home to your family and be proud of calling her yours.
My friend's opinion is that it's intimidating to men -- that we women should dumb ourselves down in order not to scare them away. IMHO, if we have to do that we're dating men who aren't worthy of us in the first place. So... what's your opinion? it depends. First off, there are women who try to act smart. I'm not attacted to those at all. You know, the type that say things like 'my brother's girlfriends sisters boyfriend said you could sue for that!' and then i say my brothers a lawyer and he said no, then they argue....thats not smart, thats stupidity. Then there are the chicks who are smart and go out of there way to show it. Some brag about stuff, some try to parade around how perceptive they are, others try to do the now it all thing. I play aloof 90% of the time. These girls i simply put in there place, the same as i would any guy that acts like that. Because being condasending isn't so cool. And then there are the chicks who are genuinly smart, and are comfortable with being smart. Atleast humble with it. Those chicks are hot. I love learning, and i love the idea of learning from my girlfriend. The only problem in being with someone smart, is that once you start learning they sometimes forget that your smart to. it works both ways. |
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A lot of women say that a highly "intelligent" man is a turn on, but in reality they tend to interpret this as arrogance
Well, Lee..... my response to this is that a really smart women can usually discern between intelligence and arrogance. I know that for myself I need a man who is not only smart, but has knowledge of which he is passionate, and wants to share that with those in his life. A man who independently seeks to learn and understand more about himself and the world, and gets happy and excited while doing so. Sigh.... listening to a man talk about something he knows and him sharing that with me with fervor in his voice; why that is like foreplay. 
Now, with self assurance, confidence, and the sharing of knowledge, there can be the appearance of narcissism and arrogance. But an intelligent woman will see, most times, if this is truly the case through the man's other communications and in his actions and deeds. And it can be tough, and can take time, depending on the psychopathology and actual intelligence of the man in question. Makes sense? |
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A lot of women say that a highly "intelligent" man is a turn on, but in reality they tend to interpret this as arrogance
Well, Lee..... my response to this is that a really smart women can usually discern between intelligence and arrogance. I know that for myself I need a man who is not only smart, but has knowledge of which he is passionate, and wants to share that with those in his life. A man who independently seeks to learn and understand more about himself and the world, and gets happy and excited while doing so. Sigh.... listening to a man talk about something he knows and him sharing that with me with fervor in his voice; why that is like foreplay.
Now, with self assurance, confidence, and the sharing of knowledge, there can be the appearance of narcissism and arrogance. But an intelligent woman will see, most times, if this is truly the case through the man's other communications and in his actions and deeds. And it can be tough, and can take time, depending on the psychopathology and actual intelligence of the man in question. Makes sense? That made me hot just reading it lilith....
Intelligent and funny men......are the best..... |
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Aww Deb, thanks! I think it helps me to explain this because..... drumroll here......
I met a man that does exactly this. Our phone conversations are so freaking hot even if we don't even mention sex... Sigh... My nickname for him is Cowboy Cop and I am totally feeling like a 14 year-old with the hugest crush ever. I'm smitten. Why just this morning I was car dancing with abandon.  To "You Can Take Your Hat Off", by Joe C*cker.
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"Intelligent and funny men......are the best....." i'm screwed 
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Edited by
snarkytwain
on
Wed 10/08/08 03:50 PM
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So what constitutes being pushy or arrogant then? A woman who talks down to you or otherwise acts superior, I can see, but what about a woman who just naturally uses bigger words, or more literary turns of phrase in everyday conversation? Is that considered arrogant? And if so, why?
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So what constitutes being pushy or arrogant then? A woman who talks down to you or otherwise acts superior, I can see, but what about a woman who just naturally uses bigger words, or more literary turns of phrase in everyday conversation? Is that considered arrogant? And if so, why? I couldn't tell you why, but I've found that that seems to be the case - if you can use a word that has more than two syllables you're suddenly arrogant. I do have a tendency to correct people when they're wrong - which apparently isn't socially acceptable. But oh well - if someone can't handle corrections, it's not going to work with me anyway. Personally, I'd want a smart guy. I want a guy that can talk nerdy to me 
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Oooh! Talk nerdy to me baby!
...I like that. I think I'll use it!
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I don't care if my gal is smart or dumb, as long as she loves me, right?
Well, as long as she isn't retarded or anything... |
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I want a man who laughs at my humor and aspirates sometimes when I catch him off guard. I want a man who is magnanimous and empathetic and knows these words. This is how I talk.... I just use what to me are appropriate words. Why say boring when I mean pedantic? Why say cold when I mean apathetic?
Say what you mean and mean what you say... |
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I want a man who laughs at my humor and aspirates sometimes when I catch him off guard. I want a man who is magnanimous and empathetic and knows these words. This is how I talk.... I just use what to me are appropriate words. Why say boring when I mean pedantic? Why say cold when I mean apathetic? Say what you mean and mean what you say... Exactly. But I constantly ruin into "What does that mean?" when I use some simple term like "venomous screed" or "ceratopian carapace." It's not rocket science, people, unless I'm talking about rocket science. |
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Lexy, I love it when you are facetious....
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For me, I don't see myself as smart. I just enjoy reading good fiction, which tends to include many words not used by the average populace -- words I get to know from simply being exposed to them often. It's like someone who watches a TV show a lot knowing about the characters and places in the show. Same diff. Yet somehow it's not to others. Honestly confuses me.
Ah well... at least we're not alone right?
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That is how I got into studying computers. This lady friend of mine kept fixing my computer because I kept deleting important files like Windows. But instead of charging me money she would want things like operating systems, hard drives and peripherals. It took her months of work for her but she finally taught me copy and paste. Her being smarter than started to get to me so I took computer courses. My curiosity finally even wore her down when she ran out of parts that she needed. At first she wouldn't let me any where near her computer but eventually she realized I was learning. She still stayed close just in case I would screw it up. And there were times when I didn't screw my computer up and hers would break down.
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So what constitutes being pushy or arrogant then? A woman who talks down to you or otherwise acts superior, I can see, but what about a woman who just naturally uses bigger words, or more literary turns of phrase in everyday conversation? Is that considered arrogant? And if so, why? NO.....that's not arrogant...THAT'S HOT!!! |
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I think it's incredibly hot when a guy just naturally uses bigger words in every day life. He's not going out of his way to show off. It's just the way he is. I know someone like that, but he's oh so far away.
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For me, I don't see myself as smart. I just enjoy reading good fiction, which tends to include many words not used by the average populace -- words I get to know from simply being exposed to them often. It's like someone who watches a TV show a lot knowing about the characters and places in the show. Same diff. Yet somehow it's not to others. Honestly confuses me. Ah well... at least we're not alone right?
Oh you are so right... I can't help my mom was an English major, can I? She talked that way, and said "Go look it up". My dad is an MD.... same thing, "Go look it up!"... Now I read at least one book a week and due to my profession obfuscate is one of my favorite words... |
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