Since we spent one month writing long, involved, explorative letters back and forth after meeting on this site, sex was the most logical, instinctual next step. We knew alot about each other, had already had mental sex, made each other laugh orgasmicly and talked for extended periods of time, numerous times on the phone, once we kissed it was a done deal! Yes, it only lasted for 6 months but I was true to myself and my needs and didn't feel the need to play by some unwritten set of rules that "they" whoever "they" are had written centuries ago. And yes we did practice safe sex. I may be passionate, I am not stupid.

When...is a an individual choice...

Personally, i dont have time limits, if im ready and i feel i want to, i do.

It all depends on the person ur with and how they make u feel, and vice versa.

Ideally, i must say that first date is a lil too quick, i think u need some amount of time to know the person, and ya dont wanna find urself regretting sleeping with someone who now no longer wants to see ya.

After all, dating is the gettin to know u part, i think depending on how quick u get to know a person, decides when u will sleep with them.

It's nice to know I am not alone out here in cyber space this early in the morning....Good morning

If it is a first meeting first date, then know, but if it's like Julia said, the first physical meeting of a ldr, than that may be different.

Like everybody's saying though, it's a mutual decision, no two ways about it. As long as no one's being pushed into it, and everybody's protected, have fun!

you know, not so much any more. I was that way through my mid 20's... then I grew up and realized that jumping in the sack early on created dynamics in the relationship that we weren't prepared for cause we didn't know each other enough. though they ended badly, two of the most meaningful and deepest relationships I've had we waited and I think that contributed to the deep dynamic of the relationship. the first one we waited 9 years before having sex. (which happened to be our wedding night ) the second was 3 months, but still we had the chance to really get to know each other.

personally, there's been times that I could have had sex on that first date, but, didn't, my insecurities at that time told me I wouldn't be respected.
But today, I think if I felt that the chemistry was mutual and the atmosphere was right I just might go for it!...lol.

I say that now...but who knows..lol.

40 year old virgin?


It just depends on the situation and who you are.

Some peoples moral values don't allow for that type of promiscuity, with others the chemistry is just there and the clothes fall off.

JuliaA sounds like she's made a good decision. Others here have too I am sure.

Having a set amount of time seems as silly as having no standards at all.

omg that is so sweet

what if it just happens,so much for the time

For me, I would rather develop a friendship with a quality woman first. I think it is much more important to learn who the person is than learn how to convince them to take their clothes off. I need to feel close to the person, I need to have reasons for going the extra distance. I've never in my life ran around in the bars like some man-whore just picking up chicks to get my rocks off. I think the reason many relationships fail is because the couple rushes into the "building of the house" roof-first. Start with a good foundation of friendship, and let it develop.

Then when it does happen, it is a very special event between two people who know and care for each other, and the fireworks turn into rocket ships.....

I agree if sex is all you want go to a bar

If I have to sit through Dinner she's playing hard to get.

all of the above listed if yer connection is a good one

but if not non of the above

If I have had time to get to know her over the web or phone first, then the first date is fine.

Otherwise I don't think I know enough about what makes her "tick" and we are not wrapped up in each others thoughts/emotions for those truly mind blowing orgasms.

Wham bam thank you ma'am sex is awesome, but knowing ahead of time which spots, words, breaths will make her squirm and a little tension and anxiety that its finally happening seem to make the sex last longer, hotter and more fullfilling...

BUT a oral on the first date never hurtanyone! :)

Sex on the first date is fine if I dont want to see you agian. Sometimes you have to salvage something. If I like him and I'm trying to get a reationship going then I prefer to really get to know him and let the anticipation build.

I agree :)

we aint getting any younger...as soon as you meet

I say 1st time is just for a booty call... If you really like someone and want more at leat wait 'til 2/3 date.