I Am looking for someone that is funny and smart. I'm not realy good at talking about me but here it goes. On my free time I make homemade fudge for blind albino aborigine midgets. I also like to play full contact battleship for gold coins, And on thursdays I scuba dive for pearls at the local Y.M.C.A. I wrestle polar bears for extra beer money. I'm 1/2 Jewish 1/2 Irish so I like my alcohol and I get it 1/2 price. I wear an extra pair of underwear on the outside of my pants so if I get in an accident I always have a spare, (plus it just looks cool).I am highly allergic to oxygen, so I have trained my body to breath cottage cheese. And I also train badgers to do peoples taxes (no sucsess yet but fingers crossed).I once ruled the world when it was under sea, and I don't believe in the color blue. When I have extra time I like to whittle prosthetic foreheads out of canned yams. I eat twice a day and always the same thing, grapes and bacon grease. I go everywhere by electric wheelchair,(I can walk, I'm just that lazy). I collect english to german translation books,784 so far and I still can not speak german. I spend all my money on dental floss becouse I scrape the wax off to make candles in the likeness of Clint Howard. Every winter I go to the antartic to club baby navy seals, I only own one movie that I watch over and over and over again(I can't remember the name of it right now). I also have an extensive sideburn collection that I put on display every year at the anual giant sideburn and toenail show that I hold in my bat,(so far only myself and my A-Team action figures attend). I had my own sloth shaveing business, but it was shut down by the E.P.A. (or was it the I.N.S? I can't remember). Realy, I'm just a fun guy that is looking for someone special. So if you want send me a line and we'll do lunch.