Glad I am not wearing it now

Don.
I just sent you an email , cause Im has never really worked

Betty

Hi connie

Chopper Dan ...i am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss


I just wanted to share that i do know how you feel...

I was engaged to my boyfriend of two years and three months...

We had been out looking for houses to buy...

I traveled with him in his flatbed truck

hauling finished lumber...

and a week before Christmas, 1996

he fell from the top of a load of lumber

of the back of his semi truck ,

while he was taking the tarp off

and getting ready for the fork lift driver

to come unload his wood...

and he suffered massive head injury ...

he took the whole fall with his brain stem

and had to be air lifted

to St. Charles Medical Center in Bend, Oregon...



I won't go through all the tragic details,

but he gallantly fought hard to survive for two weeks

and they were going to transfer him back to California ...

then a freak blood clot burst in his ankle

and took him ...

right on the day he had showed such progress...

I was absolutely devastated

and became a shell of the woman i once was...


the curtain went down, and when it rose again


my leading man was gone,


even though the backround hadn't changed...


every flat bed semi truck i saw

reminded me of him...

I could see him falling

again and again and again...

It took me years to come to grips with his loss

even four whole years went by

and i still was hurting very very badly...

if i went out with anyone, all i did was talk

about my boyfriend who was no longer here

and every man i met , i wanted it to be him...


Then on Christmas day 2000, my Ex Husband ,

my Children's dad suffered a massive stroke

due to diabetes,

and he passed away on January 10, 2001...

it was only then,

when i saw how devastated my children were ,

that i had to finally put the memory

of my fiance' to rest for a while,

so that i could be there for my broken children


I think that no one should rush another person

about grieving...

we have to grieve in our own time

and it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks..



all the cliche`s made me mad,

all the things that people told me

seemed so cold and insensitive


they would tell me

that "it is better to have loved and lost

than never to have loved at all"...

i didn't want to hear any of that

none of that mattered to me,

but slowly ...

i began to find the pieces

of me that had been lost

i have been able to find myself again...


and please try to remember...

even though i did not know your lady or of her...


I don't think she would want you to grieve forever ...

no one who really loves someone

would want their loved one left on Earth

to suffer forever ...

One day you Will be able to live again.

and please always remember....


"Memory is the power to gather roses in winter "



"Time it was and what a time it was

a time of innocence, a time of confidences


long ago , it must be...I have a photograph...

Preserve your memories ~

they're all that's left you ..."

by Simon & Garfunkle


with love, hugs and a heart full of compassion..


Lady Nessa

HI all, made it thru randy birthday yesterday, went to the grave and planted flowers, asked the kids to come and help till the soil, not one of them would come with me, with the arm control coming and going it took about 3 hours, but we had a good visit, I took a break about half way thru and went to mck d for tea, had to laugh i ordered chicken slect, what i got was cheeze burgers and fries just what he always ordered. so i ate the fry and took him the burgers, i figure it was his way to say he was with me. today I am taking his parents out there, he is only about 2 miles from home but dad and mom no longer feel safe drivng. went ahead and did my side of the grave this time. I saw the dr and after the mri on wensday he wants to see where the nerves are at and how compressed they are off, we set up the date for surg. somehow I have flated and the nerve root are exposed on C 2,3,4,5,6,7, in the neck, the ct showed then with no space between no curve and mush on the inside of the neck.i think the furnace blower got me i did rest it on my head along time when i was up in the air 10' putting it back in place was a 2 person job but there is one one now so i did it. and plan to do it next year.
Dan... a month after i lost randy they thought i would comit sucide, it's been 6 months now, the overwhelming pain, eases, i wanted 5 minuted more, but God in his wisdom knew that would not be enought I would have went into battle mode and fought for more, as i drove to the hospital that day i was planing on who i would call in to save him depending on what was wrong. they worked on him 45 minutes from the time he droped at work and man down was called, they got him back 5 times and there was to much damage , God thank god he went home fracture skull broken back , crushed ribcage, your still in the shock and coming out of the numbness now, I never want to live that again, go and see a doctor depression pills help me alot, talk to us on here some how we all made it you will to, this is the hardest time you may ever do but your not alone.

So true. We are not alone and we are loved. Not only by the ones we lost by the friends we have, today. As I am cleaning the house today I can remember that I wasn't a good housekeeper and my deceased wasn't either. She did try but with her failing health it began to get too much for her. One of the reasons was that we loved going to yardsales and picking through what others threw away. On the other hand my ex was a good housekeeper but everything had to be brand new. But it is like the grief we have to go at our own speed. More and more I find that I am enjoying cleaning from the benefit derived from it. I am cleaning up the wreckage of the past and place is looking less like a mausoleum. There was a time I wouldn't see anybody because I was too sensitive. Being around couples reminded me of what I had lost then but being around couples today reminds me of the love that I once had but reminds me of the love I still have, too. Because even though she is gone physically what she and me had still lives on. She was a loving person. What I admired about her was that she made time for others especially children and pets. She could just sit and watch what was going around her. I feel like I am more because of being with her. She was the better half but that better half is with me, today and it fills my life with love.

Best parts of our lost loved ones, will always be in our hearts & minds.

Notes from a loved one in heaven.


Notes from Heaven:

I see you from far above, Please do not cry for me my love.
My father is taking care of me well.
There is nothing I want or need as far as I can tell.
No more worries sorrow or pain.
I now know my time on earth was not in vain.
A person’s family and friends are the legacy of a good man.
Remember the times we shared, laughed and cried and left our footprints in the sand.
I can’t wait for you all to experience the heavens,
with all the freedom and love and beauty.
There is no time or space up here to be sad, angry or moody.
All of our dreams, good memories and times exist here.
All the intensity of all goodness reigns in the heavens,
and for the end please do not fear.
Imagine the brightest of all colors, the sweetest of all smells,
the sounds of the finest tuned instruments heralding through the skies.
Imagine the best day of your life and magnify it millions of times then remember I am here waiting for you to end your journey on earth when you also will rise.
Please be patient for your time has yet to come.
Be still for you have things to finish up on earth, so like a lion please do roar.
I will be waiting with a smile and a halo of light to pick you up so we may all soar!

Denise Andrews


Dedicated to my sweetheart whom I miss so much!

Ohhhhhhh, Dan ...

that is soooo very beautiful...
Thank you for sharing
such a lovely letter with us...



I appreciate you calling today ...
If i could help lessen your pain,
I would ...
But i know there is really nothing i could do,
except pray for you...
and be there as much as i can,
to just listen & share some tears & kind words

i know there are many other kind
& sensitive people from this site,

who are available too,
if you need someone else to talk to
and if i happen to be gone
or out of town...

take good care /// love and hugs


God Bless You Brother & comfort you

& God Bless & Protect the soul of your Lady

until you are united with her again

and after, too, for all of Eternity

these are really beautiful...
for you Chopper Dan ~ God Bless You Bro...


http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/grave.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxawiWqf4gA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOsKXaepvfU



Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.


Mary E.Frye 1932

Good Afternoon Everybody!

HUGS all around!

Just cking thru.

Hi Connie...Sweet Auburn Girl...


love and light to you Dear...

thank you for this very needed thread

for love, compassion & support ...

Hi there Old Sage....Don...


Love & light to you too, Dear Man

Thanks, how is Ms.Rapunzel?

I am doing pretty well, Don...thank you ...

however I'm especially sad for Chopper Dan, though

&
for all those who have recently lost their beloved mate

it gets a little easier to deal with , as time goes on,

but it is especially devastating in the beginning

Is that lady's picture, a tattoo of your wife, Don?

Yes, copy of pic we had drawn in 83.

Everyone meet Gwen.

<<<<< Gwen >>>>> <<<<< Don >>>>>>


I'm soo sorry for your loss too..


Old Wise Sage...