Sure does, auburn. As a matter of fact I can look at the things that I have accomplished and enjoy them. I have found that really true with painting the house and glad I chose a color that was neutral. The pale lavender and foam green colors just didn't do anything for me. After I painted the inside of house sierra redwood I happened to look at it with its semi-gloss color and it reminded me of delicious candy bar. Sometimes I just want to go bite the corner of the wall but have to remind myself the house isn't edible. It gives an idea though. I wonder how much trouble it would be to make the outside of the house like the house out of Hansel and Gretel.

I'm so glad you are enjoying it!!!

Goodevening all
had the surgery yesterday at 6:45 was the first case because of my latex allergy, they replace 4 disks with bone grafts cleaned up one heel of a debris mess aroung all of them, he sid it looked like a scatter bomb went off in there, I had load of anit botic run and was home last night by 9 pm, the doctor was concerned about a hemetoma devoloping at the insicion site told him jenny would watch me all night and he said fine, forgot to tell him janny is my little yorkie.lol
today have had a few pains come and go but over all doing great, swollowing is very hard, my daughter brought me home and left as soon as she got me my pain pills she was to tired to stay with me she has a hard jop and works midnights so i understand. having some trouble keeping my sugar reading down, so my have to go in and see , but it could be all the dextros they ran yestaeday leaving my system.
I want to thenk all of you for your prayers, they got me thru a hard time and in the next weeks as i recover i may need more the firewood is due in any time and i am worried i may not be aboe to get it in the shed and kept dry but one day at a time, am fighting a horrable head ache right now so will close... thank you all so much1 love to all rose

Rose, it's so great to read your post and I hope you continue to heal as the days go on. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hello Rose
Best wishes, and get well soon

Rose, thanks for the update, was getting concerned. Rest & heal dear, firewood will be there when your better.

Glad to see you back Rose..will keep you in my prayers.

rose, im glad your ok, rest and takecare. god bless

Good Morning Widows and Widowers Hope you all have a Wonderful Monday!

((((Rose)))) So glad to hear you are doing well!

Watched end of "CASTAWAY" last nite.
The parting scene between the lovers reminds me of the situation we all face. We are forced to go on thru life, wondering what it would have been like if we could have stayed together.
He tells her she should have more kids, he would.
They both had to be thinking of the life that WAS planned, but got changed.
I wonder every once in awhile, Gwen would have spoiled grandkids so. Just never got the chance.
Life changes, but our minds still wonder; WHAT IF?



Have a good day.

I wonder about stuff like that too.
My youngest was only 16 when her daddy died.He never got t0o go to her graduation from high school.He also missed her graduation from nursing school .She has grown into a beautiful caring loving person and he would have been so proud of her .
He was robbed of her and she was robbed of him. It seems a shame , but a least they had some time together.
Hope everyone is doing well

oh MY THR WHAT IF'S, WHAT IF THAT NIGHT OR THE DAY BEFORE I WOULD HAVE HAD A FIT AND FORCED HIM TO THE HOSPITAL ( SORRY FOR THE CAP BUT I CAN SEE THE DAMN WORDS WITH OUT BENDING THE NECK TO FAR) WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF AND I THINK IT WAS BOT SURE WHERE THE CANCER BACK , HOSPICE? WHAT IF HE WOULD HAVE DIED HERE WHERE TE KIDS HAD TO SEE THEM WORKONG ON HIM, i BELIEVE THAT THEY WATCH US FROM A FAR, AND GENTLY LEAD US BUT I WOULD SELL MY SOUL FORO NE MORE FALL TO WATCH THE LEAVES FALL, THE CCAMP FIRES. HIND SIGHT IS 20/20. HE BETTER OFF THERE THAN HERE WITHT HE WAY THING ARE. AS FOR ME, THE ARM IS BACK TO SPASMS HAD A 50 ANNIVARSARY TO GO TO, LONED OUT ONE OF MY JEEPS AND NOTHING BUT GRIEF ABOUT THAT FROM THE ONE THAT BORROWED IT, IT SAT 9 MONTHS NOW SINCE HE PASSED AND HAD THE SMELL OF THE STEEL PLANT, THEY HAD FITS, THEN IT NEEDED AND OIL CHANGE AND A TRANY FLUSH AND FILTER, HATE TO SEE THAT THE WHINE WILL BE ABOUT TODAY.. TO I DROVE OVER ( NOT SUPPOSED TO DRIVE FOR 3 WEEKS YET) GOT THE DAMN THING TOOK IT TO MY MECHANIC HAD HIM DO THE WORK DROVE IT BACK IN THE MEAN TIME VENT OUT MY ANGER WITH WEEDS IN THE YARD.. SHOULD HAVE SAID LOOK JUST BRING THE DAMN THING HOME. WORKED AND CRIED CLEANED OUT THE NEW JEEP OOK VALLUM AND WENT TO SLEEP. AM PAYING FOR IT THINK THE GRAFTS MOVED IN OUT PLACE. THE HEAD ACHE IS ALMOST UN BEARABLE... i PRAY IT RAIN TODAY REALLY FOR THE NEXT WEEK WILL KEEP ME INSIDE. TRIED A DATE... BEFORE SURGERY, TO KEEP MY MIND BUSY... THE 2 DRINK AFTER I PICKED HIM UP AND WE GOT THE THE RESTARANT, HE WAS DONE. THEN THE TRY AND KISS WHAT IS WITH THESE GUYS? HA ABOUT HIT THE FLOOR OVER THAT ONE, PAID MY HALF OF THE BILL AND THE GIRLS AND OWER THERE KNOW ME AND RANDY SO THE FOLLEWED ME TO MAKE SURE I DUMPED HIM OUT AN GOT HOME OK. I AM BEGINNING TO TINK I AM A PRUDE.. WHAT EVER HAPPPEN TO FRIEND SHIP? HOLDING HANDS?? ANY WAY... THEY RATED HIM AND CALL ME HE WAS -10.. I KNEW THAT. AM GOING TO CRASH ON THE SOFA, AND WATCH COOL RUNNING THAT MY COMFORT MOVIE OVER COMING ADVERSITY. NO ONE MOVES IN THIS HOUSE BUT ME TILL THE DAY IS HALF OVER. ABOUT 2 PM
IF RANDY WHERE HERE HE WOULD HAVE WENT GOT HE JEEP BEEN RUDE AND NASTY, HE HAD A TEMPER TO BEAT ALL,SWORE IN 3 LAUNGUGES THREW THINGS , THEN CALM DOWN, GLAD HE MISSED THIS WHAT IF

Hi rose
You really need to take it easy!!You have been through a lot and now you need to take care of you!
Have a good rest and heal!
Betty

Well I did rest today i rested between the laundry, the mowing and weeding eating, the throwing the grdaughter out of my house with her kids,as she whinned to her mother i reminded her mom the ony reason i had she was she wanted rid of her herself.... so I pissed her off too...the truth hurts and i have had it up to my ears with me doing and doing and keeping slackers in my home... cooled off after yard work then I drove my self off to dinner. Not sure I going to let her come back, am at the end of my rope i have tied a knot an hanging my a thread. took down the pool she put up and let become a breading groung for mosquitoes, not to mention the ruined grass, have packed some of the stuff she did not take, cleaned the living room. have decieded I am up for adoption, am good worker.
really I am ready to climb in the jeep and just drive till the money runs out. my mind and body is beat, night is early just may do that yet. going in to read a book take my pain pills and cool off. took phone off the hook, locked and changed the locks on the doors... am really really mad....

Roses, hope life calms down for you.
You need rest not misery.

Hello Everyone. ((Roses)) it sounds like things are rough, please take it easy-I hope the best for you!

Ok, so I have a question for all widow/ers. First-the background. I started chatting with a guy online (maybe 3 months now), and we got along alright. Then he said something to me- You need to move on. Ok, first off he shared a memory with me, so I thought I could share one back. Second, he has no idea what I have been through in the last 3 years and I am doing SO much better than I was last year. I know I will NEVER forget my LH, and what we shared but, I am confused when it comes to making new friendships/relationships. Do I keep my LH's life and death a secret, or is this guy just an a$$hole?? When it comes to friendships/relationships do you share openly or do you keep it bottled up?

I still talk about Gwen. I talk about other things & don't make the past center of all the conversations. Not knowing all the facts hard to judge. But if he wants to simply drop the subject & never speak of it again? I think he is being unreasonable. He might not have had as good of a relationship as you did, so can't understand the feelings you have. feel free to mail me on this subject if you need some more ideas.

Sage, by no means do I make Josh (LH) the center of topics. I know I can't live in the past and the future at the same time. No one wants to hear of past relationships, its not fair for him or me. BUT, he shared first and then I did. Thats what friendships are about (i think) and I thought it was ok to share. Then, he freaked out on me telling me, "oh, you need to move on, you can't live in the past" blah, blah, blah. Like he was giving me all this great advice I have never heard before. I think I am reasonable and always think before I speak (or type lol) IDK, I guess its just so difficult trying to find someone--even in a friendship--that is willing to accept I am a widow and Josh was a huge part of my life. I am in no way trying to be a victim or have a pity party. It just seems I am in a different catergory, or realm...and finding reasonable ppl to talk to, or have a relationship with is so out of reach. Thanks for you input, Im not trying to be rude Im just fired up...

Didn't take anything you said as rude.
I believe I undersatnd, as I have had some ladies tell me I "needed to move on." To the devil with them. They haven't been where I am, so who are they to speak. We all are different & work through thinks differently. I would never let anyone psh me down a path I didn't want to go.
Sounds like you do the same.

Yes...it seems to happen with everyone I have ever talked to. They can't understand where I'm at or where I'm coming from. I can't get anyone to understand my own personal situation. Yes my husband died, and I have gone through the grieving- maybe still do and always will, because there hasn't been any final closure- however..that doesn't stop my heart from wanting to love again. If they haven't gone through a death of a spouse- I don't think they could understand what we truly mean, until they walk in our shoes. To me (just from my own gut impressions) it seems like they want to meet someone that has never been through anything at all and they won't have to deal with anything with them. Trying to find something perfect perhaps? I don't know...it does get very frustrating for sure. I wish you the best of luck