Topic: Depression support - part 3 | |
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who the hello is up at 5 am on saturday morining? yep thet would be me.... 3 nightmares later... this is getting old!!! in one of them i puked and out came a peice of chicken with bone but it wasnt chicken it was my insides and they had roach looking things on them that came outta me too.. <i once had giradia and it multiplies inside of you little live bug type of things> well i recall in my dream i thought i had that again.. all i remember is i couldnt go to the doctor in my dream cause like in real life i didnt have insurance ive read up a little on nightmares in adults.... it did say stress can cause them.. also like marie said meds<but im not on any>.. also said people on cocaine have them....<definately not my case either> sounds like between your job,finances and relatives you are having very stressful time in your life.I hope you get the new job. karen:I am working and i have trouble keeping money in my pocket.i spend cause i'm bored,stressed or depressed.I am single handedly supporting my bank in overdraft fees. sorry about your parents.maybe they can renegotiate their mortgage..lots of folks in these situations sadly. |
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who the hello is up at 5 am on saturday morining? yep thet would be me.... 3 nightmares later... this is getting old!!! in one of them i puked and out came a peice of chicken with bone but it wasnt chicken it was my insides and they had roach looking things on them that came outta me too.. <i once had giradia and it multiplies inside of you little live bug type of things> well i recall in my dream i thought i had that again.. all i remember is i couldnt go to the doctor in my dream cause like in real life i didnt have insurance ive read up a little on nightmares in adults.... it did say stress can cause them.. also like marie said meds<but im not on any>.. also said people on cocaine have them....<definately not my case either> sounds like between your job,finances and relatives you are having very stressful time in your life.I hope you get the new job. karen:I am working and i have trouble keeping money in my pocket.i spend cause i'm bored,stressed or depressed.I am single handedly supporting my bank in overdraft fees. sorry about your parents.maybe they can renegotiate their mortgage..lots of folks in these situations sadly. Hey ((Jax)) I know what you mean. I've been giving overdraft fee donations to my bank too. Been real manic. Sorry you have been feeling so low and I so feel for ya in the panic/anxiety area. I've been being a very bad girl and self medicating. I have to be careful. But I think I have it under control. What have you been doing to help yourself. I could use some tips. Im on a waiting list to get therapy for what happened. I hope you can feel better and you know, I have been sounding a lot like someone who's name begins with a "D".......that's really sad. I feel like Ive lost touch with my ability to empathize....ugh. |
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I'm feelin really down today.
Its grey and wet. My ex (only 3 weeks) was supposed to contact me about going to the cinema.....he hasn't. I believe he was serious coz he mentioned giving me some of my stuff. So I text him earlier and haven't heard a thing!! looks like i'm stuck in front of the tv. |
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Karen - sorry about your mom's job, that seems to be the way things are going these days. Lots of companies shipping jobs overseas. I hope things straighten out for you soon.
Jax - I understand about the money too, paying my dad's bills, daughter needs money, heck, I get left with nothing. I just applied for a weekend job today at a hospital 1 hour away (the closest one), don't really want the extra hours but need the money. Also applied at a local clinic for typing, he won't decide until the first of the week, so will be next week before I hear on either of them. Really don't want to go back to 7 days a week, but not much choice right now. Star - welcome to the thread. Sorry about your ex, maybe you should make an appointment with him to meet some place neutral to pick up your stuff. Maybe going to the cinema was too much like a date and he didn't follow through. Just a thought. Roy - hope you are having a good weekend. Hope everyone is having a good weekend, take care. |
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who the hello is up at 5 am on saturday morining? yep thet would be me.... 3 nightmares later... this is getting old!!! in one of them i puked and out came a peice of chicken with bone but it wasnt chicken it was my insides and they had roach looking things on them that came outta me too.. <i once had giradia and it multiplies inside of you little live bug type of things> well i recall in my dream i thought i had that again.. all i remember is i couldnt go to the doctor in my dream cause like in real life i didnt have insurance ive read up a little on nightmares in adults.... it did say stress can cause them.. also like marie said meds<but im not on any>.. also said people on cocaine have them....<definately not my case either> sounds like between your job,finances and relatives you are having very stressful time in your life.I hope you get the new job. karen:I am working and i have trouble keeping money in my pocket.i spend cause i'm bored,stressed or depressed.I am single handedly supporting my bank in overdraft fees. sorry about your parents.maybe they can renegotiate their mortgage..lots of folks in these situations sadly. Hey ((Jax)) I know what you mean. I've been giving overdraft fee donations to my bank too. Been real manic. Sorry you have been feeling so low and I so feel for ya in the panic/anxiety area. I've been being a very bad girl and self medicating. I have to be careful. But I think I have it under control. What have you been doing to help yourself. I could use some tips. Im on a waiting list to get therapy for what happened. I hope you can feel better and you know, I have been sounding a lot like someone who's name begins with a "D".......that's really sad. I feel like Ive lost touch with my ability to empathize....ugh. i am trying to lose weight so that occupies my mind along with walking...hope you recover soon.. |
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Buttons - I didn't look at your age, but wonder if your nightmares could be hormone related. I have heard of women doing all kinds of weird things when they start into menopause. You should talk to your doctor about it, if nothing else they could give you something to help you sleep, but sounds like maybe you need some labwork, wonder if your hormones or chemistries are off for this to be happening. I have have meds give me nightmares (Effexor gave me horrible ones, about people trying to kill me, etc.) but you are not on any meds. I would look into premenopause (may be causing havoc on your system with your hormones fluctuating). Just my thoughts, but would wonder about that.
Take care. |
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Karen - sorry about your mom's job, that seems to be the way things are going these days. Lots of companies shipping jobs overseas. I hope things straighten out for you soon. Jax - I understand about the money too, paying my dad's bills, daughter needs money, heck, I get left with nothing. I just applied for a weekend job today at a hospital 1 hour away (the closest one), don't really want the extra hours but need the money. Also applied at a local clinic for typing, he won't decide until the first of the week, so will be next week before I hear on either of them. Really don't want to go back to 7 days a week, but not much choice right now. Star - welcome to the thread. Sorry about your ex, maybe you should make an appointment with him to meet some place neutral to pick up your stuff. Maybe going to the cinema was too much like a date and he didn't follow through. Just a thought. Roy - hope you are having a good weekend. Hope everyone is having a good weekend, take care. Thank you for the advice. I wouuldn't have minded if he let me know he had a change of heart(well, ok-i would have minded) but still would have been nice to know. happy weekend everyone. |
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Thanks Marie, Jax......I'm at a loss and impass in my life right now. I feel completely lost. While manic?!? That's just not like me. Not at all.
Sorry about your ex. I think he needs a swift kick in the ass for not at least being polite. Yeah, the wieght thing sucks. I've given up on it for the time being. Good luck to you on it though. Especially if it helps you get your mind off the other things. Jobs, jobs, jobs......damn marie. I just dont know how you do it. I really dont, but whatever good comes your way, you deserve it. I think we all do. I think we should all do just one little thing this weekend that we like. Nothing fancy, just one lil thing we enjoy and just fukcing enjoy it. |
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I forgot to turn my cell phone back on after the meeting Friday and had three cell phone messages. I could have went into work yesterday since work called me. I had a great weekend though. It sure was quiet except for this stray cat I have been hearing outside trying to get in. It is a beautiful day outside.
Welcome to the group, Star. |
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Smart move Roy, that will show them how much they miss you, even though it was accidental, and I know you could use the time off.
Hope you are having a better time right now Karen. Jax - good luck with the weight, I am doing the same thing, seem to be stuck again right now, so frustrating. Star - hope you are feeling better today. Hope everyone is having a great weekend, take care. |
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hey y'all....just checking in.....i'm doing okay...i finally have an appointment to see a psychiatrist this week....woo !!!
went out a couple of times with two of my aunts and that was ok....except for the fact that i was the youngest one there...oh well.... |
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Buttons - I didn't look at your age, but wonder if your nightmares could be hormone related. I have heard of women doing all kinds of weird things when they start into menopause. You should talk to your doctor about it, if nothing else they could give you something to help you sleep, but sounds like maybe you need some labwork, wonder if your hormones or chemistries are off for this to be happening. I have have meds give me nightmares (Effexor gave me horrible ones, about people trying to kill me, etc.) but you are not on any meds. I would look into premenopause (may be causing havoc on your system with your hormones fluctuating). Just my thoughts, but would wonder about that. Take care. |
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I think you are right, Marie. Tonight one of the nurses that my coworker was having trouble with and that I have been trying to keep calm so that she doesn't fly off the handle again brought in a crock pot full of some good smelling stuff. I was thinking of dipping into it but my coworker told me no that belongs to the nurse. I was thinking, hmmm. That sure smells good. We had a good night.
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i havent spoken to her since that day....just my brother and it continues on....thats just what i dont need in my life....i think he is gonna move though if not i did unomonisly reported it . maybe something will happen there and they will lboth be forced into happiness....and yes work is a stress for me 5 hour today and tomorrow like 8 thats it for the week.... i cant live off that naturally sometimes i work 32 hrs a week .. ive been applying for jobs here and there but lately ive been from 13 hrs a week straight to 42 lol was hard on me not being used to it... now i need to really kick in and go for it... applied for a good one yesterday... i pray they call!!! my savings is running out and i use 700 a month of it to live on.. gonna cancel insurance on one of my cars for the winter im about to be hit with property tax and a car insurance plus my house ins.... If you own your home ask about a Homestead exemption on your proerty tax. It might lower what you owe substanially. Also ask about utility assistance stipend through the county. It is a Federal grant usually $350.00 a year but that is a big plus. Also when you are paid up get on budget billing. Then the extra high winter and summer bills are averaged with the ones that are not so bad. |
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Buttons - I didn't look at your age, but wonder if your nightmares could be hormone related. I have heard of women doing all kinds of weird things when they start into menopause. You should talk to your doctor about it, if nothing else they could give you something to help you sleep, but sounds like maybe you need some labwork, wonder if your hormones or chemistries are off for this to be happening. I have have meds give me nightmares (Effexor gave me horrible ones, about people trying to kill me, etc.) but you are not on any meds. I would look into premenopause (may be causing havoc on your system with your hormones fluctuating). Just my thoughts, but would wonder about that. Take care. Effexor can have the side effect of hallucinations for some folks. Made me want to be mean as hell. I had daydreams about hurting my son so I knew it was the wrong med for me. Several folks have mentioned having night terrors. If you are depressed Dalmane is commonly prescribed by general practioners with the premis that with sleep the depression will get better. But it counter indicated and actually causes night terrors; especially in use with other medications for depression.Also because the patient will avoid sleep dreading more nightmares they become even more sleep deprived and manic. If a person is having endocrin problems they can appear to have a variety of mental health issues. Look at your family medical history. Have members had dramatic weight gains or losses and "goiders" on their throat. A complete endocrin panel can tell you a lot of info fast and it is only a blood test but you have to request it rather than the common less inclusive test. Last but not least try eleminateing caffine from your diet. Soda is one of the biggest offenders but of course coffee and tea and other foods; especially chocolate have caffine. Read lables caffine is added to a lot of processed foods. When you first wean off expect to have serious headaches for a few days but once you get it out of your system your sleep will improve as will any arthritis pain or inflamatory problems like fibromyalgia. It is really worth the effort. I now carry water and or caffine free drinks so that I am not tempted in fast food or break room situations where there is rarely a caffine free alternative. |
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Karen - sorry about your mom's job, that seems to be the way things are going these days. Lots of companies shipping jobs overseas. I hope things straighten out for you soon. Jax - I understand about the money too, paying my dad's bills, daughter needs money, heck, I get left with nothing. I just applied for a weekend job today at a hospital 1 hour away (the closest one), don't really want the extra hours but need the money. Also applied at a local clinic for typing, he won't decide until the first of the week, so will be next week before I hear on either of them. Really don't want to go back to 7 days a week, but not much choice right now. Star - welcome to the thread. Sorry about your ex, maybe you should make an appointment with him to meet some place neutral to pick up your stuff. Maybe going to the cinema was too much like a date and he didn't follow through. Just a thought. Roy - hope you are having a good weekend. Hope everyone is having a good weekend, take care. Hey Marie.I am personally thinking of babysitting at night to earn extra income for myself.It's ridiculous. |
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(((Ruth))) (((Marie))) I have gotten a lot of insight and help in here, too. Have been told by people that my house is too small for other than me. There must be something to that. I guess if I really do get serious enough to have a relationship that I should either make this place bigger or move to a bigger place. For me though it is quaint and big enough but I can understand why one should maybe consider a larger place. I mean I guess everybody collects stuff and one should have enough room to have lots of stuff. I have been trying to thin out some of my stuff because a lot of my stuff is like junk. But either it is either I don't have the heart to get rid of some of it or am just too lazy to part with some of it. I had a pretty good night. If you have a lot of stuff you are having trouble parting with but don't need maybe it has sentimental value. Try taking pictures of them and make a memory album then giving them to charity or selling them for something you have wanted for a long time. I have done this for several of my patients. One we actually had a birthday party where she gave away a lot of her stuff as presents to remember her by. Clutter tends to be overwhelming and amplify depression. Hording is often a misplaced attempt to prevent being forced out of a houseing situation or keeping someone from moving back in with you such as a toxic family member or lover. I found moving into a smaller place that dis-allowed guests over a certain period and required me to occompany them whenever they were in common areas gave me the perfect excuse to say NO. Buying a pretty twin canopy bed and getting rid of my sofa helped discourage overnight guests that disrupt my sleep and were not nearly so eager to visit (bum off me) when they had to sleep on the floor. A word to the wise some of these people on the commputer are just looking to cozy up to get control of your disability check. They will marry you and then do whatever it takes to push you into a breakdown and then stick you in a state hospital because they know if they even just "live" with you as little as two years that they can not be evicted and in fact get a lifetime estate in your home while the hospital bills just stack up until you die and your kids or siblings or parents get nothing. each state has a Protection and Advocacy department that provides lawyers to the disabled to see to it their best interest is being served. Also all states and most major cities have what are called Independent Living Centers where people with disabilities are trained to serve you as a peer advocate for free. |
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thanks pacific star.. i did know about the help with the power havent called yet... as far as the payment plan i have been on it and still am . unfortunately the first yr they only had me pay 120 month thereforth i got in the hole at the end of the yr by 1300... so they raised it to 200 month.. unfortunately the summer is almsot over and im about 500 still in the hole.. maybe at the end of this yr it will go back down a little. yes i own but i rent the land... its a manufactured home and im wishing i hadnt gotten one so big for just me and my dog...i may call today since i have the day off.. i know they weaterize too for free but you have to be on a list.... as far as coffee for yrs ive drank it... used to do 8 shot lattees everyday with little effect lol not anymore... and at one time did 2 pots of coffee a day... now i drink 1/2 pot to 1 pot a day.. and early before 10 .. so i dont think its from that..since it never gave me nightmares before..none of those things u mentioned run in the family either... never heard of some of them lol thanks again....deb
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Would love to make more money but I don't think the answer is working overtime at my present job. Tonight one of the residents that is under my care told me while I was trying to put ice in her cup told me that I had no business being in her room. In a sarcastic tone I told her, "You're welcome." I have thinking of getting a crucifix next time I have to go in there or wearing some garlic. It seems my higher is teaching me how to be the bad guy. It certainly is turning out to be a labor of love. I had to clean one up with a friend who was fighting us. I have gotten where I have to look at it from the point that if that person was my grandmother or grandfather I wouldn't want to leave them in a bad way. I finally had to tell my coworker that there is just no nice way to do this and that we have to get her changed. Sometimes my job really sucks but is nice when its time to punch the clock and get away.
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GOD, I so need to spill my guts, but everytime I think of doing it here I freeze. Then more crap happens and there is even more to spill but again I freeze. Marie knows most of it, but damn, I wish I could share. Being alone in this situation and possibly having to move again into a real bad neighborhood from this nice one is scary. But I guess it is better than living in fear all the time and feeling like I am going to be evicted at any time just for the lust of one man. It is sick.
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