Do you not see the arrogance?? I don't see how you can't.

I'm taken, so I could care less..........and probably wouldn't be interested in you anymore than you would be me..........BUT

You ASSume that anyone who only puts up face shots, is fat, and hiding it...........

Well, I only have face shots, because I can't take a full body shot that looks halfway decent (and if it doesn't look like me I ain't gonna post it.) I do have one that isn't too bad but it is from a few years ago.

The thing is..........to go into a forum and post that people are "hiding" or "lying" because they only put face shots up is RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, and JUDGEMENTAL.

All "negative" qualities imo.

Now, if ur talking with someone, and wanna know, just ask.

If ur not interested in even talking with someone because you can't judge their looks.............then well, don't be on the internet, because a pic doesn't exactly capture the person anyway.

Trust me, I'm larger, but pics of me make me look much larger than I actually am, unless they are taken right.


ALSO:

It is one thing to have "preferences" but what you define as a "preference" is actually a requirement. So, stop trying to make it sound better than it is.

IF you will not date overweight women, then it is not a preference, it is a requirement to date you........which is fine, but call it what it is.

Also, to have a preference is one thing........but to start a thread to promote your preferences (if asked in a topical fashion is different) is a bit egotistical imo.

If someone asks and you share, but to say HEY, I WILL NOT DATE FAT WOMEN, to someone who didn't ask............is well, just rude, imo.

Well, I don't need to take a sociology class. For all you people who complain..........a CASH welfare check covers nada. Of course it depends on the state you live in.........but I have had to apply for cash assistance...........

I went through the "job" training program. Let me see

I was getting a total of $300 on cash, for a family of three.........this is enough for me to be lazy and do nothing, and be living the high life while you pay for it?? I think not.

I DID get a job.....ummmmmmmm, making $6.50 an hour.......at 30 hrs (they wouldn't give me more hours because then I would be consider full time and they'd have to offer me benefits) So, I was making a whole $780 before taxes........(btw, I was making more than minimum wage). I then no longer qualified for cash, but still got $225 for groceries.....and my kids got medical, but I didn't........yet my job didn't offer benefits.

Anyhoo, my point IS that you do not get ENOUGH help to get off the system. They actually paid my daycare provider to watch my kids while I was at work MORE than I made in a month....just so I could work while someone else raised my children....and I still didn't make enough money to live on my own.....so I applied for housing which had months worth of a waiting list...........

Why do people who are getting assistance NOT get out of their situation. Let me see........they will pay your childcare IF you are working at least 20 hrs a week to go to work.......and to go to school IF it is only a one year certificate (which wouldn't make you much more than your making at McDonald's so why invest the time??) You get food help, but no medical........... You may be able to get housing assistance.......eventually, but where I live now.....there is no waiting list. They have people waiting years to get housing they can afford. I am currently with someone.......but I could not afford to move out if I wanted to....and that is working full time at a job that has average pay in my area.

Anyhoo. You certainly don't live the "high life" and they don't even give you enough to pay rent somewhere........you are lucky to have family who will allow you to stay, and the lil you get is to help alleviate some of the burden from them.

Some people may be driving brand new cars, though they'd have to be in someone elses name as they'd begin to ask questions, buying new clothes (though u are more than likely stealing them)......... Or you are working under the table AND collecting welfare....because welfare alone doesn't support a family....and the system isn't designed to actually help enough to get people off the system. To do that, you need an education, and not an education that teaches you squat (referencing most one year certificates).

But go ahead.........think you know what ur talking about.

That is exactly how I see it........now that is. It took me a while to go from organized religion to my own personal spirituality and being able to understand and put into context the things I truly did experience.....even if the way it was explained to me, or what it was explained to me to be was incorrect.

I tend to agree..........besides........I mean that fact that he is so......well, sloppy, and well..........disgusting tends to prove that he is indeed NOT gay in the homosexual sense. In the happy carefree sense of the word, I'd say YES!

It was an awesome movie. I laughed and cried. I had goose bumps the during the whole concert (at the end).

In other words, me quoting you......making mention about my pic, etc. was "off topic" and I didn't want to sidetrack or seem disrespectful to said topic.

:)

Well, the answer to why that is is quite simple.

To consider a situation and offer advice is one thing. To be caught up in the feelings and emotions of it, and still make said decision based on logic is a rare trait indeed. Not everyone does what they should..........or even what they personally know is "right", but it's all good, because they will learn from it, eventually, even if it takes ten years and twenty failed relationships.....either that or they will never have a happy, successful relationships......either way, it's their life.

Thanks. but u may want to take another look, it isn't a "frown" but a half smile............. My face is simply relaxed, and I have other pics on my profile of me "smiling". I find it interesting though, how different people associate different "emotions" or "expressions" to a picture that lacks it. I have been told I look upset.......but I wasn't. Anyhoo, please do carry on with the OP.

I totally agree with you, but that doesn't mean I don't believe in soul mates. I am whole, complete in myself.........but that doesn't mean my family is whole and complete when I am not there.

I do not believe a "soul mate" is a romantic thing, though it can be. I feel that I have a few "soul friends" who I identify with.....whom though I have known for lil time it feels as if they have always been a part of my life.....

A soul mate to me, is exactly that. Someone who truly understands you, maybe not completely, but intimately. Someone you can relate to, and can relate to you. Someone who you have always known.......even if not in a physical sense...but anyhoo.

Heya!

So, people are not worth investing time and energy into getting to know.........?? It is a waste of time if it doesn't work out the way you would like it?? A good friend is worthless compared to someone who may spark ur sexual fantasies?

Oh, come on. Investing a few weeks into getting to know someone is not too much to ask.

I will not date someone I do not know at least a little on a personal level. Why do I want to invest my heart into someone, who turns out to be a total jerk....or less sever, someone who I have absolutely nothing in common. Yeah, we may have had a physical spark, if we did as u suggest and started holding hands and kissing first.........but what am I left with after sex?? (If it gets there)

Friends first is a priority for me. Yes, there may be a spark of interest......but I won't even be attracted to someone if I don't know them first.

That is one of the reasons I hate dating sites. A guy wants you to look at his profile and tell u if ur interested........as if I can tell that by reading a paragraph and looking at ur pic.

Anyhoo.

It would depend........it would be hard, but if he/she was absolutely dedicated to it and I thought they were responsible enough to make such a decision, and it would cause a strain on our relationship if I didn't.....I might....

I personally have issues with allowing people of such a young age to make such severe commitments. I got married at 18, not commiting to the service or anything, but it was a major life decision I was not truly ready to make.........but everyone around me must have figured I was an adult, and never said anything, including my parents. Oh, strangers offered advice, but not anyone I would have given weight to.

As I said, it would be hard, but under certain situations I MIGHT.

Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you.

If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy).

If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect.

You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo.

If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants.

IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice.

IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes.

Ummmmmmmm, no....but I would wonder why they would be interested in such a thing.

Ummmmmmm, then why doesn't that person simply break off the relationship they are unhappy with??? Betrayal.......some people are good at it.

If they are unhappy then they should break off the relationship.

SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite.

Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around.

P.S.
You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life.

But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question.

NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it.

P.S.
The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after?

Good times, good times!

Awww, how sweet.

Hmmm, ok.