A few things that have left me flabbergasted -in a good way!

Since approx. 2 weeks I have 1 more doses a day of oestrogen.
Start doses is 2 pumps gel, now I have 3.

Within 1-2 days I noticed a difference in a few things. One is my skin.
In the elbow fold I had gotten tiny 'folds'/wrinkles when I turned my forearm. I wasn't chuffed when I saw that a while back.
Now it's as good as gone?!

Another was my left eye.
That has always been slightly smaller than the right, but was barely noticeable.
However, since I was menopausal it got worse and worse.
Not a matter of the eye socket getting smaller, but the skin above the eye becoming looser.
That skin then presses on the eye, causing it to look smaller.
I was not chuffed :(
At first it was only noticeable in photos, and I tend to take a lot for dating sites amongst others.
I almost stopped taking photos as it made me feel horrible to see my eye like that.
Last year approx., you could also see it when looking at me. Not quite as clear as in photos, but it was noticeable.
I was really really not chuffed!!!

But then after about 1 week on 3 pumps oestrogen gel instead of 2 I was doing my make-up, looked at myself in the mirror and, WTH?
I had to blink, look twice, thrice, couldn't believe what I saw!!!
My left eye looks normal again???!!
I kid you not!
The somewhat loose fold on my eye is nice and tight, no longer pressing on my eye?!

Unreal. I had NOT expected that. Hadn't even thought of that.

Then today...
Had to drive somewhere, hadn't been in my car for about 1,5 weeks.
As I'm driving I notice the rear view mirror is too low, I had to bend a bit to be able to look into it properly??
WTH?
No one else drives in my car, the mirror never gets adjusted and it's not loose.
I adjusted it, couldn't get it right as it needed to move quite a lot and I was driving.
Later on I had to adjust it again as I still had to bend over a bit?
It got to the point that I had to adjust it so much that I couldn't see directly behind my car, which I do not like either.
In the end I sorted it by putting the mirror diagonally. It was the only way to get both short distance and further away in view.

I felt my bum in the seat. Was I sat further back?
Nope.
Same as I've sat in this car for 5 years.

Meaning...
My intervertebral discs are recovering!!!
WOW!

Being 59 I had not noticed shrinking had already begun? But if I am now a bit taller again, then f*(k, it does begin at a younger age and it sneaks up on ya.

So danged happy I got my hormone therapy.
Total life save!

Looks like I'm going to have the future I have in mind for myself: no walkers, no scoot-mobile, just me myself and I :D

And... looking in the mirror I honestly see a younger face looking back at me.
Now I've always looked younger than my age. People thinking I was 10-15 yrs younger wasn't rare. But still, now it's somehow different. Even my mother says so time and again, and she isn't generous with compliments.
Maybe it's mostly because looking younger was my default. I absolutely liked it, but it was normal to me.
But now, even I see a difference.
And that...
I am utterly really really chuffed about, haha.

And I'm only on HRT for 8 weeks now.

I loosely follow a number of wellness, health, inspiration, dating coaches and the subject they all regularly address:
Anxiety.

I never get that?
I have little to no anxiety so I cannot relate to it at all.
It only makes me wonder, "What the heck are people busy with?"
Anxiety is unhealthy, doesn't gel with happiness and love in life.

Now I have one big advantage over many others my age: I don't work.
That means I am far away from the ratrace that most people are stuck in 5 days a week.

What does strike me as odd, although it can be coincidence:
All bar one of these coaches are American. And the exception lives and works in LA and his clientele is mostly American.

Would that mean that Americans have more anxiety than other people?
I don't know.
Could be that America has more well-known coaches (that I happen to follow) and thus it appears that way.

Then again, watching movies & series, these do tell that many Americans struggle financially, especially when younger, to make ends meet, pay there schooling fees or those of their children. Often ending up having to work 2-3 jobs at the same time.

Gregg Braden, scientist & inspirational speaker, had a situation like that growing up. Dysfunctional family, father left, mother couldn't make ends meet, so as a young teenager he had to work in a factory while he was also going to school.
That is unheard of in The Netherlands.
We have quite the solid welfare system that would help such a family out so kids wouldn't have to work and sleep in the classroom.

In that sense I do think the US has more reason for people to have anxiety.


What do you think?
Do you come across a lot of anxiety in your environment, or maybe you yourself?
Are people quite stressed out where you live?
For me, whenever I see the next workshop or course on offer about anxiety it's "NEXT!!"
Not interested.
But it is sad that there obviously is a big market for that.
Says enough of how the masses live their lives, and that is truly sad.

Untamed was a one off series. A complete story spread out over 6 episodes.
It was well worth it though!

Found a new series to watch: Ballard
US police series on solving cold cases.
Apparently it's a Bosch spin-off and the Bosch dude showed up in the 1st or 2nd episode. Not happy as I never watched that series since I really dislike the actor.
I hope it was just the once to give Ballard a good kick-off.
Only watched 1,5 episodes, so wait and see if it's any good.

Your question is too vague.

It depends on the condition, exactly what impact it'll have on the other person.
All the questions of how serious, how often (if not constant), does it impact finances (unable to work), is it physically trying for the other person (in case of decreased mobility), does it affect longevity?
Does it limit what you can share together, and so on and so forth.

Personally if a man has quite serious issues that would limit me or my life I'd not be up for it.
Having a man in my life would be an utter relief as he can take the heavier things in life on his shoulders.
May sound odd, but women generally are physically not as strong as a bloke.

And I have to be honest and say that growing up with an elder sister with an illness has affected me so much that I'm not able to be open to someone with serious lasting ailments of disease anymore.
Looking back, it basically ruined my childhood, changed me, probably caused my parents' divorce as well.

So it all depends on the context of the disease/disability AND the story the other person has.

Thank goodness things have changed, esp. in the US and UK, possibly AUS too, not sure.
Over here in The Netherlands most GPs still have obsolete regulations they must stick to.
They are very cautious and many still latch onto the belief that hormone therapy causes cancer.
In actual fact it can prevent certain cancers provided the hormones are bio-identical.

Gynaecologists have different regulations via the overarching EU menopause organisation which follows the US menopause organisation.
So things are beginning to change, but it's going to take time.

The stories I read...
There are even women -although exceptions I think- that suffer from vaginal atrophy?!
I didn't even know that was possible.
If men suddenly had their baws shrink and disappear it'd be a world crisis!
Billions would be spent on research and it wouldn't be a problem to get hormones for the duration of your life. Anything to hang on to their precious crown jewels!

As for us women... there's only a very small percentage of money for research of 'women issues' being allocated to menopause...

Hi Soufie!
I remember you telling that story before.
I don't know what they gave you of course but chances are it wasn't bio-identical. Then it can have all kinds of side-effects.

And even with bio-identical you don't give a dose once a month. That would likely be a very high dose in one go that had to tide you over for a month.
I'm guesstimating you didn't get progesterone either since you had a hysterectomy. Until recently it was believed you didn't need it then.
Now they know that EVERY woman needs it, uterus or no.
But that's still fairly new knowledge.
Not getting could've meant -and very likely did- create a serious imbalance in your body.
But I suspect also getting a major shot each month.
My mum had a hysterectomy some 38 years ago. She wasn't given monthly shots but daily patches to use. She successfully used them for 14 years. When she stopped (prolly doctors advice) the trouble started...


Nowadays you take daily doses.
You build it up until you're in your therapeutic window. That's the levels of both hormones that are required to be free from menopausal unpleasantness AND protected from the high risk diseases.
So building up, not starting on the full whack as that would have way too strong an impact on the body.

I guess you were extremely lucky.
Personally I don't want to take any risk, and do what I can to stay as mobile, fit & healthy as can be!
For that you need bio-identical hormones :)

New series - Untamed - 2025 - Netflix
I like it!!

In the vast expanse of Yosemite National Park, a woman's death draws a federal agent into lawless terrain, where nature obeys no rules but its own.

It doesn't matter whether it's fast or slow. It can go either way.
What does matter is that it works and lasts.

For me when it's slow there has to be something that sets it aside from platonic friendship. I do not hang out with a bloke for friendship since I'm not looking for a male friend.

Thank you so much, Julie! :)

Hi Di!!
How lovely to hear from you again!
How have you been?! Hopefully really well and happy!

And thank you so much!
I've changed my way of painting since 2023, learning new things, and it's still a learning curve.
Good thing is that I'm getting way faster with for instance doing leaves one by one, hihi. Rather tedious work to say the least...

But I'm happy with the result, and I really enjoy learning new things and being able to paint more intricate scenery.

The one I'm working on now is going to have Merlin in it.
I'm ready to get going with him but a bit nervous about it.
I may wait till tomorrow :)

More work done this afternoon :)

Now time for a break, making dinner in a minute. Maybe do some more after that.

Thank you, I'll post an update later on today. I've gotten much further with it :D

That's (the bold statement) is very primitive & naive, and can create undesired & dangerous situations.
Animals that live in groups behave that way.
We aren't animals.

What sets us apart as humans is the ability to think for ourselves, even if this is different from what others around you think.

That's what allows us to be on our path to individuation, which we are meant to do.
It is not the idea to take 100 or more steps back in human evolution and become like animals.

We have a highly developed frontal lobe, esp the prefrontal cortex.
You gotta use it.

I set up a new painting a couple of days ago.
Lots more work to be done, but I like this stage with that depth in it!

One example of how this is going to affect both people in and outside of the US:

I know a man who owns a own business in selling crystal skulls. He has these carved by Brazilian master carvers from top quality Brazilian quartzes.

80% of his customers are Americans.
But from August onwards Americans will have to cough up 50% import tariff on BOTH the skull they want AND the shipping.
That means Americans either will have to pay a freaking fortune to buy what they love or... no longer able to get it at all.
Thank you Trump!

The business owner will likely get in trouble as he will see most of his sales drop.

The carvers might be out of a job and means to live and feed their families.
Thank you Trump!

It could even result in the business owner being forced to move back to The Netherlands after having lived in Brazil for decades. Then he won't be able to do the work he loves doing.

Trump's idea is that things will be made in the US itself.
There are no Brazilian master carvers in the US.
Nor is there top quality Brazilian Quartz in the US.

So a totally effed up situation.
And this is just one small business.
Hundreds of thousands are going to suffer, small companies & big ones.

Millions outside the US may lose their jobs, their homes, and so on.
Americans may not give a toss about that, but if that happens it will come back and bite you in the a$$ when the stock-market crashes.

The only ones who won't suffer are the rich & famous in the US and Trump himself will sure as heck make sure he isn't going to suffer.

And this whole "the US has been ripped off for years" is part of an elaborate plan to gain more power.
As it is, the US has way too much power.
That could be remedied, but then it will be the people who will suffer, not the ones who are behind this scheme.

It's absolutely scary that one man can do this by declaring some illusive state of emergency that grants him the sole power to do so.

I don't mean to offend you, but you really have tunnel vision.
I won't hold it against you as I know many Americans live as if they're the only country in the world or, if they're aware there are other countries, that these are inferior & the US' servants.
But then you forget that we are all connected, we don't live on separate islands anymore.
Many glorify the US and don't even know that many other western countries are way more advanced in areas than the US is.
In many of these areas the US is more like a 3rd world country.
I don't mean that as a dig. Just to give a different perspective.

Other countries should most certainly be concerned about this as it will affect them too.

It's not for nothing that some fear another global stock market crash by what Trump has done.
If that happens it'll affect the US as well. After all GLOBAL means the entire world.
The same goes for Trumps decision. It will also have a global effect.

If a man asks a woman to marry him and still doesn't trust her or still doesn't really know her then he's an idiot.
You don't ask someone to marry you unless you really love them, care about them, have established a solid relationship with them and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

I wouldn't even say 'yes' to a man if he was still basically a stranger. Nor would I marry him if he didn't trust me and felt that he suddenly had reason, or the right, to interrogate me.

Aside from that, normally when you're in touch & dating for a while these kind of things come up by themselves. In a natural way, not by someone demanding answers.

Maybe it's a generational difference, can also be a cultural difference.
To me how you portray things and what you seem to find normal feels very rigid and very mental, totally not from the heart.
I'm not into a calculated mental relationship. I want a love relationship with bonding on all levels.
Some of these levels (I believe there are 4 or 5) are emotional, spiritual, mental.

Whether or not I will react well to the question why I divorced depends on context.
Who is asking, why and when he is asking.
Generally speaking it's none of a new man's business. It's a matter of trust. And oftentimes a divorce happened yonks ago, like in my case 22 years now.
It doesn't play a role in my life and sure as heck shouldn't be a reason for a man not wanting to date me.

In general it's a very B & W question that I don't consider applicable at all.

Very clear. Thank you for that feedback.
Are there many with this view that you know of or is that more from a minority?

I too hope that it can be overturned and the damage restored.
Should be possible, he overturned much of what Obama had implemented as well.
Unfortunately he will be in office for another 3 years...

Stopping wars??
The US usually starts them, directly or indirectly.
The one in Ukraine is one of them.
That war is having a devastating effect on EU countries as we all have to offer refuge to hundreds of thousands Ukraine refugees. Now these are all good people, but it still costs money, space, healthcare etc. etc.
Plus the huge risk of it escalating, which will cost all EU countries dearly. Thank you US.

That's just one war.

As for the alleged benefit to your country right now... wait how it's going to pan out. I wouldn't be hopeful.
Chances are that the US will become an island.
That's basically what he wants. Produce your own stuff, and considering his policy I doubt other countries are going to be open to allowing the overflow in. So where are you going to go with your produce?
Dump it in Africa like was done with American GM grain in a country where people were starving and had no choice but to accept the disastrous grain?

Wanna produce your own chit? Knock yourself out. But flog it on US soil as well.
Like I said, my idea is: FU!

It's going to create havoc, in and outside the US. Who is better off remains to be seen.
Fact remains that it is an incredibly daft move.
If big companies find other outlets and countries to work with, what will you be left with? Nothing. Poverty.