Not unless you wish to call science & psychology a romance novel, hihi.
What I am telling is reality.

It never ceases to surprise me how little people know and understand of how we 'work' when it comes to relationships.
When you explain them -still in understandable language- they get all awkward, sometimes nasty even, and dismissive.
That's in general, not talking about you, so don't take offense.
But this subject is what I've studied to great length, still do,-and even taught courses about.

All what I'm saying is based on hormonal workings and psychology, aka science...

This knowledge has been out there for decades yet hardly anyone knows about it! Even in spite of thousands being single and could benefit greatly from it.
That's what I find weird, but alas.

Did fine-tuning of the cottage, subtle things.
And spent some time working on the Highlanders & soldiers. Lots of fine detail.
The greyish figures in the back are exactly that: figures in the background. They'll be in quite thick fog and a few more will be added with more detail, a wee bit more in the foreground.

A mother myself, I can understand how awful it must be to now come across this information.
Let's hope doctors have become wiser and now swab babies' mouths after C-sections.
As for your boys, maybe you can find some help for them in the alternative? Homeopathy or acupuncture could be of help. And even Eden Energy Medicine therapists. I know there are many all over the US.
Or a very good naturopath.
Could very well be that your boys' gut health isn't solid but can be improved. That could do a lot for their overall health & well-being.

Haha, an unfortunate mistake on my part.
I can't edit anymore so let's hope people are intelligent enough to not fear their child is going to be swapped for another.

Thank you, Julie :)

OT - today I decided to work on Leanach cottage first, which I've done. Nearly finished with it, some fine touches and shading etc. left to do.
I didn't work on the Highlanders or soldiers, spent all my time on the cottage.

Sure as heck brings more life into it all, doesn't it?!

-37C??? In the States?

some 2-4C mostly cloudy although I saw a tad of blue sky in the afternoon.
We had hail, snow, sleet, rain, and strong wind.

As we speak (midnight) it's 1C but feels like -5C.

I've started my Culloden Battle painting.
It took me some time to work out the composition I could live with. In essence I wanted to paint the Leanach Cottage, then out of the blue I felt like painting a misty part of the battle behind it. I really liked that, but then got into trouble due to the size of the canvas.
In the end I worked it out, cottage a bit further back, soldiers a bit to the foreground. (I had wanted it the other way round at first)

The soldiers will be painted in full detail, then I will put them in a misty setting. Hooray for having bought zinc white which is rather transparent! I hadn't expected it to need it again so soon after the Great Wall!

The cottage will be clear & bright, in full (sun) light.

Yesterday I got the basics done:



I've done a lot of work on the soldiers today. Not done yet, but for today it was enough.
Also altered the colour of the roof so it has the right colour to work with now :)
You cannot really tell, but it is a substantial difference. From the purplish blocking colour to a dark brown-red, it's true base colour.

That will be often be different for men and women.
Many men don't feel the need to get married or married again.
Especially not if they've been married before. They reason logically. It costs money, if we break up it costs money. They'll say, "what difference does it make? None!"

To a man making money, providing, being successful that way is extremely important for his sense of well-being, of being a man.

For a woman on the other hand marriage means a deeper commitment than 'just' a relationship.
For women safety is of the utmost importance. Only if she feels safe is she able to fully open up, thrive, grow, and love.
Marriage gives her that sense of safety, knowing he won't just bugger off on a whim, won't easily fall for another -maybe younger- woman, knowing and feeling he chooses her.
It's a big statement, and one a woman generally needs for reasons mentioned above.

So if a man wants his partner to be able to fully blossom and to feel safe, she can be totally vulnerable and open to a much deeper level for him, he gives her that gift. It allows her to grow in her love for her man.

This is stuff few people know.
Men generally think she's after his money, doesn't understand how incredibly important feeling safe is for a woman, which has nothing to do with his money.


As for what's better for you... only you can tell. If you want marriage then that's what is best for you. Don't compromise because of a man. Instead learn to convey your needs properly to a man so he understands why it's so important to you.

Also, I think sexy means something different to both genders.
I gather for men it means sex, lust, getting aroused. Nothing more, nothing less.

To women, however, it generally means she feels he's the Alpha man, the right man to make her happy, safe. The one who will love her forever, commits to her and so on.

That's why men can easily prey on women, and why it leaves them heartbroken.

Hmmfff, interesting question. I'm not for short answers, hihi. Not even if I try can I pull that off but recently learnt it is very much a female/feminine thing so I take that as a compliment :D

Sexy... behaviour, body-language, clothes that rouses sexual desire in the other gender, and with that begets attention.

In essence it's nothing more than that, it won't lead to love nor the romantic love most women dream about.
Being sexy as a woman actually means you're more on your masculine energy side, and a man needs to pick up oestrogen (via his nose, subconsciously) to become romantically interested.
Sexy will cause blood to flow to his nether regions.
Since it comes from a more masculine energy part, it makes women competitive, removing them from what is so healthy for women: sisterhood! Personally I detest competitive women, horrible creatures.

A sexy man... the truly sexy ones that exude that are usually the players, the ones that won't ever commit. Yet in a woman they'll rouse her desire and need for an Alpha male. She'll make the mistake of taking him for one.
The man will likely get a lot of sex and leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake. And he likely won't ever feel happy and fulfilled.

Once there is love & bonding, "sex and sexy" take on another meaning as they're embedded in different hormones and thus feelings.

And... a woman needs a truly good lover. Not the player who's out for his own pleasure.
A woman actually needs 9 different orgasms (involving 9 different erogenous areas) in order to be truly fulfilled.
That can only happen when she feels completely safe, loved, and cherished.

So I'm not so sure sexy gets the proper amount of emphasis. As in, it gets too much.
It's far more important for men to work on getting their testosterone back to healthier levels and for women to do the same with their oestrogen etc.
"Sexy" probably is the result -or the cause- of our hormones to be disrupted.

4C Grey & gloomy with rain. Late afternoon possible sleet and icy roads.

For all women who wish to have children in the future...

When I was a young mother I came across young women from the UK during holiday. We ended up talking about childbirth and they were all scared of natural childbirth. It seemed to gross them out too? Lots of "Eeww"s.
I could not understand as in The Netherland most women go for natural childbirth, often a home delivery as well.
But these women, English, preferred a C-section.
I couldn't believe it.

Drawback of C-section: during natural childbirth the baby get some vaginal bacteria in its body. This is of vital importance as these bacteria are the basis of the baby's micro-biome.
Without it the gut health of the baby won't get off to a good start.
Gut health is the foundation of your entire health. There's even a direct link from the gut to the brain via the Vagus Nerve, apart from a healthy immune system begins with a strong microbiome (gut health) and so on. Literally everything rests on that when it comes to health.
So a natural childbirth is very important for the baby's health, not just as a baby but for his/her entire life!

When a baby is born via a C-section it misses out on that. I've heard there are doctors/midwives that then swap the baby's mouth with vaginal juices from the mother directly after the C-section.
It is THAT important.

Maybe a good thing to consider if you wish to have children in the future. If there's medical reason for a C-section then you have no choice. In that case remember to have the baby's mouth swapped immediately afterwards!
You'll be doing your child a tremendous favour!

Could be okayish on a gaming site, but what you've got doesn't impress on a dating site.

Photos with another person, which one are you? Such photos aren't handy for a dating site.

Hiding your face behind a face mask, sunglasses, mobile phone?? What have you got to hide?
If you don't want to show your face with a clear photo and a smile you're not going to be very successful on a dating site.

You give out contact details so now every idiot can contact you.

So not a great profile for a dating site.
0...

2C sunny after a brief period with frost, both at night as during the day.
The worst was -7 at night, which happened once.

It's better to have some frost and sun than rain and clouds and gray, but at the same time I don't like cold, hihi.

Currently back to watching Vera
I stopped when season 10 was out as I didn't like the way they'd started doing things.
Then found out that they went back to the original format with season 11 so I'm catching up :)
Season 13 has just come out on Jan 7th.
Unfortunately Aiden left the series and is replaced by the guy that was Vera's right hand before him.

You cherish her, make clear you're serious and not just about sex sex sex.
And you don't go posting half naked photos of yourself on the net.

Well, you came up with it, which was great!!
I don't watch tv, am not in the US either, so I don't see any commercial (thank goodness!!).

But at least we are getting an idea of what's out there :)
If memory serves the one I came across does tell you the levels of oestrogen and progesterone, which is likely why it's E62,95 (USD about the same).

But... it could be a great option nonetheless!
My GP told me at the time the only thing he could have checked is FSH (which is what the Clear Blue test checks as well).

Obviously that isn't exactly correct if you can test for hormone levels with saliva and even buy a home test for that.
I'm guesstimating insurance won't cover that so you can buy it yourself, or not.

Don't know about worst advice.
Best advice:
- You need to have boundaries.
That really make me think and realise I didn't have any when it came to love.

Another great one that has helped me a lot when I first started dating after breakup:
- make a list of what you want in a relationship & partner
- go over said list and delete everything that's based on old stuff (from exes, projections, old pain etc)
- go over what's left over (likely not much) and check everything you yourself don't yet embody.

Then you know what you have to work on to become a match for the partner & relationship you want.

Hilarious, Soufie, but danged good advice nonetheless!!