*hugz*

wow....i think u put into words what many of us are unable to....great write....very true and profound...

dang...really harsh words, but something I can really feel...great vent...

wow, I really like this write. Very inspiring in a silent way.

ty habitforming....i was actually writing it with a tune set in mind...lol...more of a song than a poem i guess.... wish i could write music... if u ever use it please credit me!!!

HI!!! lol...a lil' late posting to this one i know....i'm originally from Midland and go there once a week minimum...so I'm still a Mid-Michigan girl!!! Mount Pleasant isn't too far away ne wayz....what am I doing? Watchin' my cat who is tipped upside down and has her belly and feet up in the air....she's a big furball....

depends...some people think their life is drama...others know it is but don't brag about it because they are too busy suffering....i've been through enough and continue to go through more than enough in life to know that life is hard....is that drama? most of my suffering has been bad genetics or bad environment (people or things around me)....drama? how do i cope? one day at a time...one day at a time...

I didn't know there
Could be a set date,
That somehow I was
Supposed to prepare
For a day like today.

I'm so used to people
Just leaving.
Sometimes no explanation,
No reason why.

Every time it's been
So random,
And I didn't see it coming.
But knowing that
You're leaving
Gives me a different feeling.

And even though I've known,
I still dread the moment
When I have to let you go.

I don't want to do this.
Please don't make me
Hug you one last time.
Yeah here's your key,
But I can't kiss you
Because the tears
Won't stop flowing within me.

When you walk out that door
I'll be screaming so silently
For you to come back to me.
But you won't hear me.

Damn I hate facing what I fear the most;
That I will be left alone.

How can people promise
That they'll never leave
When they always break
That promise to those they need?

I don't understand why
Everyone I love just
Disappears into thin air
And I'm left to pick up
The pieces of what
Was once there.
They forget that they ever cared,
But I can't forget that they were there.

I don't want to dread this moment,
When I have to let you go.

I don't want to do this.
Please don't make me
Hug you one last time.
Yeah here's your key,
But I can't kiss you
Because the tears
Won't stop flowing within me.

When you walk out that door
I'll be screaming so silently
For you to come back to me.
But you won't hear me.

Damn I hate facing what I fear the most;
That I will be left alone.

I will always be left alone...

thanks to CyPoet and to the ironic but true words of AngelLight

Thank you for your response! Knowing that you had your periods this severe and had the tube put in and that it worked gives me hope! I hope it works for me, too, but I've never been one to go with the odds when it comes to percentages, so I'm very doubtful. If it works I will be definitely overjoyed. Thanks for the input! Glad you are doing much better now!

thank you MzEm

Update: I saw my doctor and got bloodwork done which showed that everything was normal except I have high cholosterol which I already practically knew. Then I saw a gynochologist who is stopping my depo shot and has me on estrogen. I'm on the second day of taking my estrogen and I'm now having a full blown period, but it looks like it's already tapering off. They said it should and if it doesn't to call them back. The plan is to keep me on this estrogen and then when the depo is practically out of my system (mid-august) my gynocologist hopes to insert a device inside me (those little birth control devices that last for 5 years) and so that will be my birth control and it should stop my periods. He said the thing he hates about depo is that once it is given and you have problems with it he can't do anything to take it out of you (meaning, he can't **** the shot back out of you). With a pill or this device he can take it out and we can try something else. So, the first step will be this estrogen pill and then this device. If that doesn't work then it'll be trying several birth control pills (again) and then a vaginal ring. If all of that fails then I can have a hysterectomy. The issue is that insurance has to see that you've tried everything possible before they will help pay for such a severe surgery. So I'm hoping that little device will work. I don't want to keep trying and failing just to end up with a hysterectomy in the end because if that happens I will be writing a very cruel letter to insurance for making me go through all of this crap that they could have prevented by just letting me get the damn hysterectomy now. I'm also scheduled for an ultrasound in a week or so to make sure there isn't anything else weird going on in there that will make my gynocologist want to be giving me a hysterectomy or something now. Anyway, just thought I'd give you the update and I will continue to do so as I find out more...

thank you Schwartz84 ..... it's actually a poem to my dad...I'm very frustrated right now with him and I'm hoping it will help him realize how I feel about certain things he just decided to impliment in our relationship....

Equal.
No perfection.
You promised you'd never
Make me feel this way.
Now here we are,
Battling in a war
That you will never
Come to understand.

All of my life I tried
To be perfect.
I did all I could
To make you proud.
But I never got
The rewards, the honor, the glory
That came with doing so well.

So I stopped caring what you thought,
And I just did it all for me.
I stopped wanting to be perfect,
To want you to see how great I could be.
It was finally enough to just
Be doing well and see it in myself.
I didn't need you to see it,
Or give me a pat on the back.
I was used to being ignored by you,
So I no longer did it for you,
But for myself.

Now you've changed the game,
Twisted the meaning,
Given me reason to feel
I need to be perfect,
That you're watching my every move.
Rewards are around each corner
If I succeed now.
But the funny thing is
That you're a little too late
To start truly caring now.

Because where were you back
When I wanted the glory,
The rewards, the attention?
Where were you when I
Was succeeding in everything,
When I was doing it for you,
And you ignored it all?
Where were you then
With these promises?

I would have given anything
A long time ago to be perfect
In everything if you would
Have just noticed
My success.

But perfection wasn't even enough.
I didn't see the look in your eyes
Then like I do now.

Why does it have to matter now?
Now, when it's too late
For me to un-do the perfection
I once threw myself into?
When my physical and mental abilities
Are keeping me from reaching
Any form of perfection?
Why couldn't it have been
Back when I could actually
Succeed, when things came easier to me.
Why now, when everything crumbles down around me?

I'm not going to go back
To making myself crazy
Over making you proud of me.
I already learned that the hard way.
So you can offer me your rewards,
Your pretentious perfection,
But I cannot be that little girl
I once was.
I have to struggle every day
Just to get through,
And that has to be enough
Because it's all I know how to do.

thanks to both MzEm and d4tc

wow....that poem really got to me....

awwww...

really nice poem...unfortunately when I've found these kinds of people they eventually abandon me/betray me....I wish I could find a friend who would stick around and not be such a jerk...

love it

When night falls,
Blood will stain these walls
As silence fills an empty house
Inside this mind.
We dare not ask what to think
When she carves her name
Into her arms,
Softly whispering,
As if in a trance of dreams.
She curls her hair,
Wearing the ribbons,
Tightening the bows,
Pretending whatever expression
They force her to know.

In daylight she is what
Everyone has come to love.
At night she seethes with rage,
Unable to fight.
If God could hear her cries
Would even He be able to save
This wretched child, this shadow, this disguise?

During the day she is
Whatever they want her to be.
At night she tears away her flesh,
Breaking apart at every seam.
For what kind of life is it
To be loved by all,
But hated by yourself?
To have everything,
And yet nothing at the same time?

She will paint the darkness
With her tears,
Unknown to anyone what she fears.
And in the morning she will wake
To hide the broken pieces,
The scars from yesterdays.