Equal.
No perfection.
You promised you'd never
Make me feel this way.
Now here we are,
Battling in a war
That you will never
Come to understand.

All of my life I tried
To be perfect.
I did all I could
To make you proud.
But I never got
The rewards, the honor, the glory
That came with doing so well.

So I stopped caring what you thought,
And I just did it all for me.
I stopped wanting to be perfect,
To want you to see how great I could be.
It was finally enough to just
Be doing well and see it in myself.
I didn't need you to see it,
Or give me a pat on the back.
I was used to being ignored by you,
So I no longer did it for you,
But for myself.

Now you've changed the game,
Twisted the meaning,
Given me reason to feel
I need to be perfect,
That you're watching my every move.
Rewards are around each corner
If I succeed now.
But the funny thing is
That you're a little too late
To start truly caring now.

Because where were you back
When I wanted the glory,
The rewards, the attention?
Where were you when I
Was succeeding in everything,
When I was doing it for you,
And you ignored it all?
Where were you then
With these promises?

I would have given anything
A long time ago to be perfect
In everything if you would
Have just noticed
My success.

But perfection wasn't even enough.
I didn't see the look in your eyes
Then like I do now.

Why does it have to matter now?
Now, when it's too late
For me to un-do the perfection
I once threw myself into?
When my physical and mental abilities
Are keeping me from reaching
Any form of perfection?
Why couldn't it have been
Back when I could actually
Succeed, when things came easier to me.
Why now, when everything crumbles down around me?

I'm not going to go back
To making myself crazy
Over making you proud of me.
I already learned that the hard way.
So you can offer me your rewards,
Your pretentious perfection,
But I cannot be that little girl
I once was.
I have to struggle every day
Just to get through,
And that has to be enough
Because it's all I know how to do.

Lovely poem. You have a talant, u go girl!!

thank you Schwartz84 ..... it's actually a poem to my dad...I'm very frustrated right now with him and I'm hoping it will help him realize how I feel about certain things he just decided to impliment in our relationship....

Very nice write...

thank you MzEm

You expressed yourself "perfectly" clear!

thanks to CyPoet and to the ironic but true words of AngelLight