Dating is a complicated, challenging concept in itself - adding =kids to mix compounds it exponentially. This does not mean that you still shouldn't try, but you just need to understand and respect this. IF someone is turned off by you having kids, this is THEIR problem first, then maybe it's yours. Be patient, the right person with the right attitude will come along, eventually. Or they won't. Keep at it anyway.

...I wanna comment, but he's probably banging her RIGHT NOW. What's the point? Not to be all fuddy-duddy, but if he gots him someone else, let it be. IF he really wants/needs/craves you emotionally as-well-as sexually, he'll come back with his "A" game. If not, he's a dude, and he'll be back, from time-to-time, with his "D" game.

Yup, "D" stands for just what you think I'm thinkin'

LOL @oldhippie (I concur and I support this message)

My first love and I are friendeded on the ol' FB, but we don;t communicate too much. Yes I still love her, but we both know that our lives have drifted so very far off of our path that we don't mess with it. I feel it's okay to love someone and not do everything else that usually comes with it...

Distance, South West Asia, and her moms not wanting any chocolate in the family back in 1989-91 put the brakes on us.

Answer: Yes, I believe (X-Files?)

Real. I just heard about a fast-riser E-8 getting ready to retire who has never ever been married. My feelings were a mix of awe, empathy, sorrow, curiosity, and a tidbit of jealousy.

His rationale: He didn't want to put his wife/kids through the "military lifestyle" of being alone for months and months, he was able to focus 110% on his career, AND he didn't want (potentially) half-his-$hit going to a marital mistake for the rest of his life.

I really feel the latter (sigh) - but thank goodness for my seeds!

A "good man" is somewhat malleable, and with the right hands molding him into what you want him to be, while allowing him to discover these things for himself...what's that mean? It means be honest, forthright & becoming, communicate, give 100% and expect the same.

Just be cognizant = sometimes when a dude sees you (or anyone) a thought or two of a vertical to horizontal transition WILL occur in the mind. What happens after that is part luck, chance, experience, and how YOU & HIM act. It could turn into a fairytale or it could very well turn into a nightmare. Either way, you gotta play. Well, maybe not "have to" - you could always go Energizer or Duracell! Apologies for the purv just then, hey, I'm a dood.

Oh wise one! Anything else IS FAIL, but partially acceptable if the shell comes off...and you both receive nuts!

Not to tangent off of the original post, but Y-E-S women can and do cheat. Men, however, are the ones kinda expected to do it. I also feel that women generally don't just run up on some strange and hop on it - that's what we'll do - generally speaking. The ladies generally need to have some type of emotional connection with those in which they bed, and if they are in a relationship, they ain't getting what they need (emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc) at home.

To sum things up from me, and my tangent, when you hear (or God forbid experience) a woman cheating, it's kinda like, "Whaaaaaat!!!??? - it's unexpected, surprising, heartbreaking, and much much more. One day tab A & slot B will be coded to only connect in one place, regardless what the component owners want. Yes one day... it just won't be to-day. And even "cheating" can be broken down into its multiple meanings/layers because it isn't always about the horizontal mambo!

IRT the topic = YES men can be faithful; This is provided the couple is "doin' it right" - it wouldn't become an issue. By this I mean communicating, sharing household tasks, enjoying some type of hobby together, being sensitive to the others' feelings, moods, language - I could go on for pages...

If you look at the times you know of someone being unfaithful, there is ALWAYS a root cause, and something wasn't right. This being said, there are one-offs when the stars are aligned, and the moon is just right, and that woman you know is having a really bad time (or a really good one) and alcohol is involved...just bad timing, and something wasn't right at home... You have to be very strong to turn down some strange!

I feel that everyone has good points and MOST are likely based off of experiences they, or a friend/relative/etc., have had.

The truth of the matter is, even with all of the studies, everyone is as unique as their fingerprint, and what makes you vroom vroom will vary with age, time, menstrual calendar, lunar calendar, and an almost infinite number of other factors.

What I have seen in my short time on this planet is some decent looking guys who are confident as all get-out, that treated ladies well, but not great, and they were able to "run through" many of them.

I guess what I am trying to say is to be yourself, and that lady or guy will either dig you, or dig a hole for you. The difficulty comes from a lack of communication. Get THAT art down, and you'll have a happy life with minimal worries.

Just my two cents, now I'm broke, and good seeing all the familiar faces!

Goofball, your name definitely does NOT fit with your honest & insightful comment!

At the end of the day, most fully understand the difference between right and wrong. Even after my very own marriage-drama, I know that what my wife and I did was flat-out wrong. When you are married to someone, there are supposed to be your "other" your "partner" = your yin to their yang. The ratio varies depending upon the couple, but it needs to be a symbiotic environment to work even halfway well.

Talk to your wife, be honest while keeping her feelings in mind, and let it be what it be. Besides, cheating is kinda fun & exhilarating, but it is too much work and nearly always ends in some serious mental anguish/pain. Sometimes physical pain too...

At the end of the day, I don't want anybody to feel anything like I feel last June. It changed me forever. When you talk to her (if you do) it will likely change her forever.

Yes, the perfect man for YOU does exist. As with most things, that word in itself is subjective. What YOU deem as desirable traits may or may not be in the guy you are with/want, some traits may come about as a result of you, AND some of the traits you think you see may not really exist. So even with all of that, yes. The perfect man for YOU does exist. A better question is what do you think you want? (today)

I feel that in the course of simply living, you WILL come across several folks that have different views & opinions on many things. I also feel that this is the variety of life; I mean could you imagine being surrounded with folks that share every single thought & idea that you have? really?

For me, I expect differences to come about, and vetting them here does indeed provide and opportunity to peer inside the brain housing groups of others - to include someone you've got your eye on. What matters is how you "argue" or "debate" your opinions, and how much a pleasant person you are when that other person doesn't share your views - that is the key!

C'mon - this is one of the best kept/least publicly discussed non-secrets of our time! I don't intend to come off as completely & utterly crass, but women have had the power since the rib came from the chest...

Some may (not likely = it's dangerous) say it's the power of the poonanny, others may say its our Mothers' incredibly powerful role in our upbringing, and some may say it's our innate instinct on a primal level; either way it's there!

Men may be in obvious "positions of power" but you know what they say, "Behind every great man..." (true & and she's REALLY running the show)

Ms. Athena, thank you for your honesty and I believe I fully understand how any comments on the topic could spark trouble. I truly admire anyone that is happy, but will admit that I am highly jealous as well. I believe that happiness can be a choice, and finding that happiness with someone is within the reach of all, but only if you are willing to slide the pride aside, change for the better of the relationship, and communicate through any roadblocks along the way. A little bit of luck & chance are mixed in there as well...

Hello AthenaRose & fellow Minglerers,

I would say yes, the women's movement is one of the considerable factors in the ongoing worldwide marriage fiasco. That, and because Doc Johnson does what he does...



It is a shame really. These reasons have not really changed, but public opinion of them has. This is both good and bad with the bad being an over 50% marriage failure rate - with no reduction in sight!

Funniest moment in bed? Funny in general, to me or to her!?

How about a little after first being married, not a lot of scratch, so the bed frame came from a 6th-hand store. While I was giving her the absolute best 1':55" of her life, all four of the little metal legs folded-in. Us, the mattresses, and that loud metal frame crashed to the floor, and nearly gave both of us a coronary.

It was loud and forceful enough to prompt our ALL of our neighbors ( military 4-family mega duplex, we lived in C) to come outside, and one to ring the bell... simply embarrassing.

To me: Quiffs + farts + debilitating neck spasms whilst in the midst of the mambo
To her: Me talking to my junk on days he didn't really want to play + farts + debilitating leg spasms while mamboing

Oh oh oh, wait, wait, WAIT!

Not taking anything away from everyone's input, but this is the straightest gouge up in here. It is possible to have & find e-love @ first sight - just not likely. Pessimist via life experiences.

Leigh, I think "contrast" refers to the opposite of always being in agreement. I know many couples like this, and it just works for them. To some degree, being in contrast is human nature and is born out of individuality. Now when you enter a relationship with someone, this me/you-ness should automagically minimize, but not everyone's does.

Think of a Christmas: "I think we should put white lights on the tree, and colored bulbs on the house" = you either agree or disagree, then you choose to either say something & stand-up for your opinion or you don't. Your significant other then concedes and agrees or they don't. What's next? So many variables...but communications is always the key!

Both but personality is waaaay more important. Beauty is in the eye of..blah blah blah -> a younger, cuter, immature me wouldn't have had that thought in the early nineties. I didn't look at folks the way I do now. Over the last ten years I am more concerned with mannerisms, like-similarities, and goodheartedness. Beauty is always a plus, but it may be found in more than a perfectly straight nose, rounded cheeks, perky lips, etc, etc.

I guess with age comes wisdom. That, and sagginess, incontinence, impotence, etc, etc. I joke I joke, I kid, I kid :^)

I reluctantly concur since it is what it is. I would most definitely do things different next time around, but unfortunately, they are no real do-overs in life. A bit pessimistic, but true. MY only goal relationship-wise is to do my damdest to try an steer my kids towards good habits that I pray will lead to solid, meaningful, and lasting relationships. I want it to be more than "don't do like me!"