There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show.

If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what?

Each will do as their heart guides them.

If you have knowledge of deep seated differances in basic life style, life styles & moral/political life patterns? These COULD be big factors, you might bury for a bit. BUT THEY WILL COME BACK.

OPINION

I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with?

You should always be open to change and diverse ideas. Obama is too liberal for me and the tea party is too conservative...but both have some ideas worth hearing.

Same thing on the boards, I have a friend who despises guns while I don't but I still count them as a friend despite this big deep divide. If their side wins and guns get banned, oh well, that's the change I was talking about.

I think it is important to learn where people stand on issues that are important. On a thread on another site one lady said she got up and left her date at a restaurant after he prayed over his meal. Many on that site said she was rude and should have found out how serious was his faith to him.

Our political and religious believes normally go to the core of who we are. While you may have a good time on a date and become good friends, once two people start living together their personal beliefs and habits can cause problems if they are too different. This does not say they cannot make it work, just that it can create major problems.

Do you think it's easier to change the way we think, as apposed to changing the way we act, or things that we do?

I think we should learn to respect eachother as a person and allow each of us to speak freely with respect.

Wow, that was a radical move on her part... to despise God so much she can't even stand to see someone pray? Ouch!

So, are you saying that you wouldn't try to get to know the member you'd been interested in on a personal basis, if you learned through thread interactions that they had some views different from yours? You don't think people can change for the right person?

It takes change of thought; to change & control, a change of actions.

Welcome to Mingle, SupremeLove... I agree, we should all feel free to speak our minds, respectfully.

My sentiments too SupremeLove...Welcome to Mingle!

Unfortunately, most of what I read in the forums is a massive turn-off; I am sure my views piss people off as well. A couple of times, I have found an even-headed person, even after I have tried to goad them, and I have gone out with all two of them and they are great friends.

Okay, I phrased that wrong... Is it easier to change our beliefs, like religion and politics, than it is to change what we do, like smoking or hunting...

All changes in a person are due a DESIRE to change. Any benefit that might come are an effect of that change & NEED to be simply accepted.

That's good to know... thank you for sharing..

Yes, I know, people only change because they want too, not because someone else wants them too... but, do you stop trying to get to know other members on a personal level if you see something of their views or actions on the boards that turns you off?

I am friends with someone on FB that I can't stand their views. I don't defriend them because it is important to hear all sides of a story, rather you agree or not to the side you are hearing.

Leigh, I'm sure that SupremeLove appreciates your acknowledgement of his arrival here on the boards, however, please try to keep your comments relevant to the original topic being discussed...

My someone has their panties in a knicker today!

Personally, I find it easier to change things I do than to change my core beliefs.