Having a hard time finding a man that understands my dating schedule. I only date when daughter is at her dads. After a while id bring around her if knew was serious. Whats the best way to present this to men? Are there men that can handle this or asking too much? not having any luck.

i think you did it well there
and i dont blame ya for getting a better idea about bringing someone in to a relationship with having a kid
that can be really hard

i think there are a lot of guys that can look past that

keep your head up love can be right around the corner : )

best wishes on your hunt and welcome to mingle

if he cannot handle it? he is not the one for you

Yeah just feels like a needle in haystack. Found one thats understanding but because hes a single dad but we were on different schedules so could never work it out. Maybe one day ill find the needle

I guess being upfront about the issue is the best way to deal with it. Sugar coating would not work at all.

So i really appreciate your direct and upfront facing of the issue, I am sure the right guy for you will understand this. And i am sure this is the sought of Man you deserve.

Have patience, Love will blossom soon.

Cheers!!!

Of course.
But what kind of "men" are you looking for?

Because just as a single mom wants a guy to take into account her schedule for dating, a guy wants a single mom to take into account his own situation.

The more one sided the demands and compromise, the less broad the dating pool.


This isn't 100% clear to me.

What's the best way to present that you only date when your daughter is at her dads?
Why do you need to "present" it?
A guy asks you out, you say "Sorry, I'd love to, but I can't go out with you on that day because I have my daughter. How about we go out on (insert available day) instead."

If you "present" it then it can easily come across like you are saying "you need to accept this about me! You must commit right now that you are okay with this and that we shall proceed forward! If this ever bothers you in the future too bad! You've committed to this being okay! Live by my schedule and be happy about it!"
Men, and human beings in general, don't like to make immediate commitments.

Or are you asking "what's the best way to present your daughter to men?"
Because your question follows you talking about bringing your daughter into the picture when you know it's "serious."
There is no "best" way.
No matter what way you choose, there are potential risks, costs, consequences, and benefits.
You could always ask your daughter when she wants to meet the guy.
But I have no idea how old your kids are.


Men "can" handle this, they may not want to handle it.
It depends on how you are "presenting" it, what you are demanding they handle, and if there is any kind of reciprocation.

I mean there is a huge difference between dad taking the kids every other weekend, and dad taking the kids one month a year because he lives out of state.

Are you just asking them to "handle" seeing you every couple of weeks?
Or are you asking them to handle constant communication with you via email, phone, text, everyday in between dates?

Are you making any concessions? Like getting a babysitter on occasion? Or something, anything, I don't know what. Or just demanding they conform to your schedule, your life, and what you want?

It's a needle for everyone, with or without kids.
And couldn't you swap with your ex so you had the same schedule as this one man? Thinking in solutions as opposed to obstacles is the way to go.

As for your OP question, I suppose it also depends how often your daughter goes to her dad's. If this is only once a month, I can understand a man is less willing to wait, as that would mean there is no chance for him and you to really get somewhere together. Once a month is not enough to build up something serious. And you cannot expect someone who IS ready to wait forever. So in that sense it's also up to you to get creative and inventive. Get a babysitter so you can date more often, and become more flexible.

Well, I've dated single mothers and in some ways it's quite good. I mostly just saw my ex at weekends but we spoke on the phone most nights.

"Part time" is kind of another word for casual and that suits plenty of people and you should probably start any relationship as a casual thing without a bunch of instant commitments anyway. A guy should understand that you're not going to introduce him to your kids until you think the time's right and a lot of guys would be a bit nervous about that as well and it is difficult because you know that the kid is probably not going to like you because you're not his dad and it's stepping into a situation where you're likely to be resented as an outsider. Some guys are better with kids than others though.

The main problem that I see with it is that he's not likely to consider it a serious relationship until he's getting more than the ocasional date or phone call. If it was me you would have to sleep with me at the very least before I would even call you my new girlfriend. If you made me wait ages and we were only seeing each other ocasionally I would be likely to expect more out of those dates than I would if we had plenty of time together. You would kind of have to make them really worth looking forward to and bear in mind that this guy could well have other options and women that he could date that he could see more regularly and find out if it's going anywhere quicker than he could with you.

TL; DR There are certainly plenty of men that will date on a part time (casual) basis, at least for a while but if you want a guy to get serious about you you had better make the time you do spend together special and you are expecting him to fit in with what suits you, so you've got to make it an arangement that he's going to be happy enough with as well.

My daughter is gone every other weekend, so thats 2 weekends a month. My free time with my daughter are our weekends together, i dont want to give up my mommy/daughter weekends. Shes 5. I dont want casual or one night stands. Im a relationship girl. I am talking about finding a loving man understanding i have limited time to give. If hehad/has limited time i understand and work with it. Im not one sided with expectations. Im always giving giving giving. Id love to find a good man accepting of my time and that im a mom. Just saying seems impossible. First is if they are good with me having a daughter, half arent. Then its about my time available most dont like, reason i say its finding a needle. I know its not great with little time but what can i do if i want to date and still be a mommy. I cant just get a babysitter i cant afford babysitters all the time maybe once in blue moon. I did meet a single dad and we arranged to go to park and kids just play like normal while we meet and talk. Kids think we are just talking parents just meeting. But it didnt work out he was wack. It might be only way i could offer more time by doing.
Just find it more challenging as a single parent especially with no family around. Thanks for the comments and ideas.

When I said "casual" it just means that you are sleeping together but you are dating, rather than living together, or anything like that. Like I said, I was in a relationship where we mostly just saw each other at weekends but we did talk on the phone every night and it was an exclusive relationship and it was serious enough.

Anyway, you may have some idea about meeting a guy and just getting to know each other until you decide you're in a serious relationship, even though you haven't even made love yet and for that you're either going to need a guy that's probably quite religious or conservetive, or maybe someone desperate enough to give it a go with you, even though he's only going to see you a couple of times a month to just presumably have the honour of buying you dinner and taking you to movies or whatever.

I mean, a guy is going to look at his options and he's not getting much chance to get to know you anyway in person, while another woman might have much more time for him. I can only speak for myself personally. I don't know you. If I met you I might think that you were worth getting involved with and I might not. You being a single mother wouldn't bother me and if I really liked you an every other weekend arangement for a while could be alright but I wouldn't call it anything else apart from dating or friendship until it became a sexual relationship and I would get pretty frustrated if I had to keep waiting for two weeks to see you and was still going home alone to pull my plonker after months. Maybe this is just me but I would probably go off you because when I feel atracted to a woman and she keeps rejecting my advances I tend to just start seeing her as a friend and the atraction goes because I suppose it feels like the chemistry's not really there or something.

Eventually your daughter is going to have to be introduced to him. My mum used to do this gradually with me, when she first met my step dad. Gradual might work better. :thumbs up:

Dont worry...very soon am sure u will find your own life partner...

Sure it's difficult. But maybe if you can have a sitter once a month, you'll have an extra evening. And possibly get acquainted with other single moms who have the same problem. With a bit of luck you can help each other out.
But surely if you got two weekends and possibly an extra evening a month, it shouldn't be too difficult. When you find someone you really like, and know a bit better, you could ask him over to your place when your girl is in bed. Provided she's a fast sleeper and doesn't come downstairs all the time.

I commend you on your ethics where your daughter is concerned. When I was raising my children, I didn't bring men around them for a long long time. I actually only brought two that were relationship material and that was done very casually like for one I met him at the zoo with my kids for a day outing. That gave me a chance to see how he interacted with them and they himm.


I personally believe that if a man is interested in you then til it gets serious he will work with your schedule.

Dating with Children has to be creative. If you want it bad enough you will figure it out..
There is always mid week time out for a couple of hours when your child is at home she can't have an evening playdate for example

I did it the same way as with you. My daughter was put first and when she did meet him if she didn't connected with him he was down the road.
Now any future man has to face three of them lol
My kids are very observant, they know good character.

Thanks ladies. Good to hear a females experience. :-)

Well the schedule does matter.
But I can handle some free time.

Just say " I'm not comfortable with... blah blah blah "
If they can't except that, or try to change your mind, show them the door.
No, means no... No, is not an negotiation.
And there is "no" reason, dates or even a man you have known for months, should be in YOUR kid's life.

* I have been thru this. Nothing wrong with compartmentalizing. or background checks *

Actually, if a woman told me that she wanted her children to vet me before she could make her mind up about me I think I would probably run a mile in the opposite direction.