My x decided to leave messages on her Facebook on my phone letting me see she was stepping outside our poly relationship! Now she has become my X! Why can't a woman get enough rope and not hang herself ?To live a poly life without having to lie about being with another woman outside the Dom and Sub agreement seems to be too much to ask for! Any Subs out there looking for happiness? What a present, losing a Sub I invested way too much time on...

well I would bake you a birthday cake but my Dom..would get extremely jealous... So here is a cupcake with one candle in it... happy birthday..

soooo lemme get this straight..

the one you were in a polygamous relationship with..decided to be polygamous?

A woman can.
Not one in a "poly" relationship though.

Human beings are kinda monogamous.
They deeply bond with one partner for about 4-7 years.
Just enough time to raise a kid to run away from lions, open a refrigerator door, and socially get along with others.

The only reason people deeply bond and "love" is because of the hormonal process leading to mating and procreation.

If it's not based on the hormonal process, it's based on a social construct and simple self image.

Self image is constantly evolving.
Social constructs are only accepted and lived by as long as they are providing something desired greater than the effort, risk, and costs required.

If a person starts seeing themselves differently, wants to see themselves differently, or they come across a situation that provides them something "better" for less or equal to what they're "paying" (in terms of emotional costs, risks, effort, etc.) then they would be stupid not to go for the new and better.
And there's really nothing to keep them from moving on.

If you don't follow the timeline of normal, hormonal, bonding (sex, go crazy, get pregnant), you are telling your body that the other isn't a viable mate.
At best your bond is shallow. And you will focus on either finding someone to actually mate with, or in getting away from the person you are with.


What you are asking for is not really possible.
You really can't control a relationship with agreements and contracts.
People are ruled emotionally.
Relationships are based on emotions.
Emotions mean hormones.


People that look for "happiness" are ultimately no different than heroin junkies.
They may get a big initial high with you, but over time that high is going to seem lesser, and as soon as something comes along that gives them the bigger happiness "high," they're going to chase that dragon.

The only things that would keep them around in the face of a seemingly better "high" are:
1. A deep bond that increases the costs and risk and pain of leaving, having gone through the hormonal stages.
2. Associating you with their core identity, of them being absolutely nothing without you telling them who they are, or worth nothing except how you value them, unable to find value in themselves only externally.
3. Considerable social pressure to stay (e.g. increased risk of ostracizing if they leave).

i.e. love, absolute slavery, fear.

Most people want it to be "love."
But that requires certain immutable things along a timeline.
One of those "things" being not having sex with others.

That's why "poly" relationships don't really work unless people are highly religious (slavery, fear), or emotionally warped and don't really understand love only idealize it.

Going with worst birthday...my daughters eleventh birthday...four days before the school she attended had a headlice outbreak...day before she caught chicken pox...on he birthday she got the bike she wanted...but had to stay in her room...poor girl...

Sorry I don't get what a poly is.
Is it when a guy is married to two others?

Oh, my apologies, thought I was in the joke section...

She broke the Dom/sub agreement!!!, well sounds like a case for Judge Judy

i agree!



this ^^ material has soo much potential...

lol good to come back to mingle for this XD

I don't really like the subs at Subway but I found a better one at Angelo's Sub shop. I like Dominos but pizza is too fattening so I try to avoid it. I tend to squeeze too hard and the polystyrene cups break so I try to avoid them too!

Good luck with your search! Adding jalapenos will spice up your life!

perhaps a back up sub for your sub is needed?

yes.. that's the answer. a "on deck" sub.. just in case the starting sub strikes out.

People that are into this sort of thing tend to think that it's all about having an agreement. You agree on a "safe word". You agree to keep it just your little secret. Somehow that seems creepier to me than an unspoken understanding.

People have the right to change their minds and it's possible and even likely that this "sub" was uncomfortable with the agreement. Could be that she felt that it suited the OP more than it suited her, or it could be that she just decided that she wasn't really into it.

He may see it as his lifestyle and it may just have been experimentation for her. "Hey, what gives with you not wanting to shoot heroin with me anymore? We had an agreement." It's also quite possible that she did it to let him know how she feels when he's having sex with someone else, whether she initially went along with it or not.