Dealing with someone with BPD is extremely difficult with someone you love. I've had relationship in which I was the codependent: enabling bad behavior to validate my self worth with someone who is judgmental.

But what If that person is your parent?

How do you handle this?

Do you think it's possible for codependents to find love?

Have you all ever been in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder or a relationship with someone who was a child of a parent who had personality disorder?

Yep,, Bi Polar ( and the add -ons that come along with it) Nothing borderline about it. Living hell for the entire family. But you find a way to get thru it and move on.. when the time is right and the kids are grown... can't leave them alone in that environment.. that's for sure.

Yea...BPD individuals are very charismatic and manipulative. They know how to get under your skin. It's almost like being with someone who has antisocial personality. They are selfish and narcissistic. And they use codependents
as "narcissistic fuel." I thought they were capable of loving people but I'm not sure anymore.

I lived BPD. Someone who has it and does nothing to fix it is hard to live with, but you just have to be patient. It takes someone with great understanding to be in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed but does not search for answers or refuses to accept them. My mother is bipolar but has also recovered over the years, we broke contact for some time but since I faced all my issues I truly understand why she did what she did. Now she's my role model. Bpd is a very sensitive and abandoned person so you just have to let him/her know how you feel about them and love them more often than most people, but to say 'stay away from that person' is very immature and misunderstanding to their childhood. If you are codependent or an enabler then you can not have a healthy relationship with anyone who lives a mental disorder, you can not fix another person.

Sorry, I still can't talk about it. I eventually was able to leave with my kids. I'll leave it at that.

I went through that role-model, validating of feelings b.s...until my mother posted photos, established credit under my name and put my birth certificate on the Internet for the entire world to see. I went through that b.s when she didn't go to both my high school and college graduation. My mother has BPD, bipolar, schizophrenia, with severe delusions of persecution. Plus narcissistic and grandiose behavior.

And I even cut off a relationship with a boyfriend who use to come to my job to Harass me, and doubted my self worth after I dumped him.

Can't deal BPD anymore.

Yeah I've been in a relationship with one. I just had to take him at face value, otherwise I could have let it destroy me. When he was nice, he was good to be around, then when he got narky, I went to my room, until he felt calm again. I didn't like how he wanted everything to go his way.

Yes. I've been in a relationship with someone that was diagnosed with BPD and I tried to make allowances for the way that she treated me but even though her quirkiness and randomness was what I liked in a way, she totally messed me about and it did my head in the way it all had to be about her and it was all on her terms.

I suppose she was looking for someone that might give her stability or support and what they do when they meet you is to build you up in their mind as their saviour or something but they are setting you up for a fall because you can't possibly live up to their idea of you and they think only in black and white, so you're either perfect or a piece of crap.

I got these phone calls from her when she was in distressed states and it was like she expected me to tell her what to do or something. One time she ran away from hospital during a manic episode and called me and I kept asking her what she wanted to do but she didn't know and she wouldn't get in a taxi or bus to come and see me and I can't drive and couldn't go to her, so I felt a bit inadequate about that. I've got problems of my own and need help with things as well but it can't work unless you're partners and helping and supporting each other.

She tended to make promises about nice things that she wanted to do for or with me but she never kept them and I had to do all of the giving and I went through all sorts of emotions and her "crazy making behaviour" was driving me nuts as well. I'm still trying to deal with the consequences of getting involved with her now. Meeting that girl started a chain of events that resulted in me having a bit of a nervous breakdown recently and the last time I saw her was almost two years ago. It takes two to tango and I saw the red flags and really doubted that it would work out with her but it still started with me meeting what seemed like a really great girl that made me feel good about myself and it's had longterm effects on my life that may never be over, while she's just moved on and doesn't care about how I feel, or maybe even now hates me in her warped mind.