Is it healthy to tell those sweet little "white" (Cool it Al Sharpton) lies in order to maintain a harmonious relationship? One can certainly argue it is. I mean, if a woman asks her man "Honey, do these pants make my butt look big" and he replies "Well now that you mention it....you could stand to hit the stairmaster more", loose furniture is gonna fly. Or she could come back at him with "Oh yeah....well you could lose that beer gut Mr. Honesty"! Sure...we all want honesty, but it is a known fact that A LOT of people simply cannot handle truth. If you slaved for hours over a meal, wouldn't it hurt if your loved one took one bite of your "masterpiece" and spit it out? One could say the better play is to suck it up, eat that piece of garbage, and spare your loved one the wide range of negative emotions. After all....it is for the greater good right?

So, what about it? What say you Mingle? Happy wife, happy life? Or would you rather have, "You really do have a small penis Fred"?

I think telling the truth; which if you truly love someone is always better in a kind loving way better than lying.

Trust is something that can get rusty when you start dinging it up with this little lie, and that little lie, no matter how well meaning, and can be a real problem when something comes along where you want that absolute faith in you and suddenly that rust causes a stress fracture.

If your partner knows down deep that you are not going to dodge the truth to just make life "easy" or get away with something they are going to believe the really important stuff you should be able to tell them.

Oh yeah? Try my tofu and you'd lie to me too.

<waves>Hey PacificStar : ) have not seen ya in a while


Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.

thought this was going to be about music lol

i would rather keep it honest
but that is coming from a person that dont lie
i would rather her tell me the truth rather then lies
even if it hurts <shrug>

If you're in a healthy relationship then you have healthy communication.
If you have healthy communication, you know the other person.
If you know the other person, you know which "white" lies they will accept and which they won't, what they care about, what they don't, to what and how they respond emotionally as well as why.

"White lies" are more subjective than universal.

If you have a healthy relationship, you have learned their subjective perspective to some degree.

Your partner defines the answer to this question, not your personal choice of how you think they "should" respond and what they "should" accept.

I told him it was too short, but it was 1/4 inch too long for insurance to pay for an implant. It turned out he just needed to be shown how to use it.

I don't want to be told that I look fine if I really don't. Honesty is very important to me. If I make a masterpiece dinner and it is not good, there is a gentle way to say it. For example, "I know you worked hard on this dinner, but maybe next time you could try it with this seasoning or maybe not cooking it as long." Honesty does not have to be brutal. We all have room to grow and how would we know this without positive constructive criticism?

Funny this topic just came up .Lol.
. not two hours ago.. I just asked a lady friend so Was that good for you?.. she said yes of course ... I said yes !.but did you !you know.. she went.Hmm no but the other day when you came by I did..... at first I was like what! .. then she said you don't want me to lie to you?.. I said it would have been nice ..
. she said ..but baby! its always good with you! you always make me feel like a woman and beautiful. but sometimes it just doesn't happen!..
.. I said yeah but if you lied to me! it would always happen ..

Depends if it is good Tofu or bad tofu. I think most of it is an acquired taste and is usually better with soysauce. LOL

That's right. Tell her...."Hey babe. Don't just stroke my talleywhacker.......stroke my ego too".

Another repeat for the umpteenth time question? Come on, Goof, you can do better!

Well, there are some questions that can't be answered honestly to your spouse or partner.

Once she asked who I was thinking of when I closed my eyes in the act..!!

Now, could I have said, I was thinking of a soccer match to last longer?

The flipside is that in arguments couples sometimes say hurtful things to each other that may or may not be true. The classic one on TV chat shows is telling someone in an argument that it's not their baby, or that you did cheat on them.

I think it's probably more at the start of a relationship when you tend to be cautious about it. It can be anything from not saying what you really think of the music they like to very personal things. Sometimes you can find yourself agreeing with somebody just because you want to get on with them and it may be no big deal really. It often isn't when it's things that members of the opposite sex get worked up about. An argument between my girlfriend and a friend of hers may seem trivial and daft to me but I had better take her side, or see it from her point of view, when she tells me about it.

Possibly you could argue that some "lies" are alright and you can certainly draw a distinction between not saying something that could upset them and total BS, like saying that you tried to call several times when you didn't actually call for weeks. When a girl said that to me it didn't seem like a huge lie but it was a sign that I probably couldn't trust her.

It can be devastating when you find out that someone has been lying to you about something. I found out that someone that I thought that I knew pretty well had been lying to me about something that was a big deal and now because of that big lie I don't know what to believe out of the rest of it. I can't tell what things she meant when she said them and what were just things that she said because she knew that they were things that I wanted to hear. Basically though I suppose that the white lies don't really matter and it's just that when someone really betrays your trust that it becomes an issue and you can develop them.

Forgive me.....I was absent that day.

Yah, it's the same old question again.

But I still want to put in that the correct answer to "Does this xxx make me look fat?" is always NO, whether you believe in "sweet little lies," or you believe in total honesty.

The key word to keep silently in your mind, is "look."

Lie to me, baby.
I will be happy to lob them back :-)

I want honesty I actually crave honesty..
And the age old question
When a woman is stupid enough to ask
Does this make me look fat.

The honest answer is "NO" it isn't the article of clothing it is her that is making the article of clothing bulge out in the wrong places...

So you can tell the truth just don't elaborate on it..


If I find that my love can lie to me on little things that are basically stupid in my mind then can he lie to me on big things..Not worth going there for me.

Keep it simple