Hmmmmm let me put it in a way y'all l'unnerstan. maybee if'n i talk like y'all y'all'll git'it. 'Box' is a slang word for *****. Y'all know what that there is right? Git'it now?

Y'all cum back now y'hear......




silly stupid people....

If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad!

A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!" "How does he drive you crazy?" "For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."

The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" "Hmm, anything else?" probes the counselor further. The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you." The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else." The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said." "What did he say?"

"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!" The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay." The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public." "Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity." "Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."

"This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing." "What did he say?" The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up."

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bull****. I gotta go home and **** the cat."

ok then try my next one, thought of this one while doing dry gash and melting the plastic while in the gulf in 2002.....thread will be smuffette

Why is Smurffette recyclable?
















She has a blue box.

Nice...I just thought that on up one day in Toronto when I saw a bunch of Hari Krishnas of all things near a hotdog vendor by Union Station.....I like your better though...

A bhuddist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything"

uuuhmmm oh ooohh.

did you do something with uncle Bill?

Just kidding

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane. 'At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'
Mommy fainted!
Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

Well said.

NO WAY!! when I discipline her I actually tell her that "that's not how a (INSERT FAMILY NAME) acts," I also encourage her to do what she likes to do. She does ballet, plays guitar(OK that one is my fault after 30 years of playing and I teach out of my home too) but she approached my about learning Kung-Fu, so between her mother and I we pay for it all. She loves sci-fi and fantasy-fi, so I'll encourage her to read some of the greats like Isaac, and Robet H. but right now its stuff like The Hobbit and we have to read it together cause of the long words

No all in all I'm raising my daughter to be the best person she can be. And also raising her to speak her mind, know the diffrence between right and wrong. So when she's ready to "make a move" sexually she'll hopefully do it with a) the right person b)for the right reasons c)when she is ready and comfortable, not pressured.

1st- I have no problem, I treat all women equally-equal to men we are only people after all.
2nd-are you firggin blind arsehole? what in the world made you think I dont like women, I totally respect them, havent you been reading from the beginnig?
3rd-it is Whinning in real (Oxford) english after all american english is an invention of Microsoft. You're not going to start that up are you?
4th- good for you for supporting you woman and the kids, Show the rest of them what real men should be. Bravo Zulu
5th-get off that damn high horse of your's you're not the only one out there who's put women on equal footing.

So really what would be ideal IMO would be a women to approach me and strike up a convo. Talk for a while, I'd buy her a drink if I was interested, ask her to dance. If she enjoyed herself she could buy me a rose from the peddler, I could be imressed and offer to pay for the cab ride home. Be a gentle man and take her home...to her house with no expectations....and make my way to mine....unless she showed me in a very forward way that she wanted to do more that night....in which case i would most happily oblige, oraly, manually, make her finish first a few times and then let her have her turn on me..then finish it off my climaxing together.....but it all starts with her....ideally

Meh. its nothing I love my kid, spent over $30k on lawyers and legal fees and her mother has a wealthy family so it was nothing for her, but in the end it was evident to the judge who the child should be with and I think any man that wants to be called Father should deserve it through their actions.

who else is gonna do all that for a single dad of a 9 y/o with primary custody?

is it truely a shame.....? when an equillibrium is finnally achieved and men and women are truely equal in all things..its a shame? ok mr macho oh are you related to caamken cause you sound the same

LOL in most cases yes I agree. I still insist on doing mine and my daughters laundry and I still do the cooking when I'm in a relationship. And saturdays I clean the house anyways and yard work in the afternoon. But emotionally maybe women do alot more of the work yes.

Lizzard, Brian, see now we're getting intellegent answers here, nice. And Fran good to know girl. I think its empowering to a woman if she makes the first move and buys a round. And to the one who said women still make 40% less....whatever Maybee in the US but not in Canada, Women here make the same, its law and its enforced, they even get the better jobs most of the time because they're women. Thats a government directive as well. As far As I knew USA was pretty much up to the same standard as us up here, sorry I was missinformed.

Oh are you and eastern eropean woman then?