In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they concluded that it was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $76.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him on the forehead.

okies,i respect the honesty

wolfie,even no 2?and i though only WE use it

welcome star,and no its never us,its always THEM!!!

and one rule repeats too many times,very simple and most sued one
"lie"

good afternoon darling,how are ya?

Ways to keep your Testosterone flowing...

1. Don't call, ever.

2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure it out by herself.

3. Lie.

4. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as "spike."

5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.

6. Here's a good pickup line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me?"

7. Drink Vernors.

8. Play with yourself. Talk about it.

9. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will do.

10. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.

11. Lie.

12. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.

13. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help - don't ask. People will think you have no penis.

14. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.

15. Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, check you hair, clothing, etc.

16. If you don't like a girl, but can't think of a good enough reason why, just come up with trite, meaningless explanations like, "I don't know. I just don't like her personality."

17. If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.

18. TWO WORDS: Hack and spit.

19. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine.

20. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend. She will then see what she's missing and love you for not giving up on her.

21. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.

22. Say things like, "Wha...?"

23. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.

24. Lie.

25. Deny everything. Everything.

26. Good break up line, "It's not you, it's me."

27. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Because if any of your female friends like you, they'll really want to know.

28. Don't have a clue.

29. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.

30. No means yes.

31. Yes means no.

32. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times.

33. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations. Improvise.

34. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies the end of a relationship.

35. Feelings? What feelings?

36. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant."

37. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it's not true or kick some ass.

38. Gays are an unacceptable part of our society. Take it upon yourself to personally irradiate all of them from the planet.

39. DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. Example: Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner?" Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day."

40. Every sentence that anyone says can be contorted to have sexual meaning. Do so.

41. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia. If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make an exact replica of your penis. Measure to make sure it's right.

42. Lie.

43. "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying it.

44. A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.

45. Ditch your girlfriend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Ditch her again. Repeat cycle.

46. Lie.

47. ALWAYS apologize. NEVER mean it.

48. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.

49. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things.

You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.

50. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see you.

51. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.

52. Create new words and phrases to describe genital, sex, semen, etc.

53. Complain about not getting any mail. When people FINALLY feel sorry for you and send you mail, ignore it and continue complaining.

54. Lie.

55. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with people you don't know.

56. Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with people you don't know.

57. If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing, DON'T

STOP! This is the desired reaction.

58. You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.

59. You are male, therefore you want quality.

60. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.

61. Lie.

62. If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, then technically you've done nothing wrong.

63. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you have to cry about, anyway?

64. If the question begins with "why," the answer is "I don't know."

65. Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.

66. Remember, Every virgin girl is saving herself or spot" and others will worship your skills.

67. Keep track of how many seconds in your life you have thought about sex. Compare with others.

68. Other peoples' pain is strictly for your amusement. Laugh long and loud.

69. Lie.

70. General Rule: Different is BAD.

71. If anyone asks you for a favor- a) make a big deal about how hard it is for you to do it, b) remind them of this huge favor you've done for them at least every 5 minutes for the rest of their f you're on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation, tell the girl how many different dorms you've been laid in.

72. When you tell a girl about your past, it's good to say, "God, I was such a pimp back then."

73. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're going to leave and when you come back, you want her naked, sprawled on the bed. Leave, and go into her dad's room and tell him he should go check on his daughter. Then drive like hell. (true story.)

74. If a girl breaks up with you because you're in love with someone else, she has no right to be upset. Because, you know, SHE's the one who wanted to end the relationship.

75. The best sex position is you, lying face up... and twenty girls on top.

76. Practice grunting 5 times a day. While some may find it acceptable to grunt only before the morning coffee, the true male will only answer in monosyllabic form, except for emergencies, i.e.. when some portion of your body is on fire.

77. Never ask for directions. Ever. Even if you find yourself crossing the state line when all you wanted was to go buy some ammo.

78. Never ever show emotion. No exceptions. Including the emergency listed in Rule 1.

79. Refuse to talk about the relationship. Get uptight whenever she mentions "love" or "commitment."

80. Leave your boxers on the dining room table. Several pairs. Pretend they aren't there for as long as you can.

81. Never talk to a female, no matter how long you've known her, when you're with your friends.

82. Watch WWF Wrestling and believe it's real. Attempt to get tickets to the matches.

83. Scratch yourself in front of them. Watch them squirm.

84. Realize that your phone bill is way too high, and you couldn't possibly call any of your female friends, even if it's local.

85. Never compliment a girl, unless it's behind her back about the size of her, um...

86. Be early for everything (before the girl is even out of the shower) or don't show up at all.

87. Tell your girlfriend she doesn't kiss as well as your ex.

88. Plan for months ahead to finally go to that wrestling match with all your friends, on your anniversary of course, but neglect to tell your significant other until the day before. When she starts crying, offer to take her along. When she kicks you out of the house, move in with your friends and watch wrestling. Tell them she just has PMS.

89. Tell your girlfriend every dirty joke you can think of-you know how she loves them!

90. When she gets a cold, to cheer her up, tell her exactly how red her nose is and how bleary her eyes are. Expect her to be grateful that you're staying with her.

91. Invite your girlfriend to a Pantera concert. When she gets injured in the mosh pit, get your friend to take her to the emergency room.

92. Tell her, in detail, about all the girls that hit on you.

93. When she finally convinces you to take her to Prom, refuse to dance. Besides, you're just there to stand around and look cool, right?

94. Automatically assume that she doesn't know a thing about cars or electrical equipment. When she finally gives in and lets you fix something, try your best to completely ruin it.

95. Blame everything on PMS.

Three hillbillies are sitting on their porch in Arkansas. One says, "Boy is my wife dumb. She's so stupid that she went shoppin' today and bought an air-conditioner. Hell, we ain't got electricity!"

The others laugh. Then the other guy says, "Ah that ain't nothin', my wife's dumber than that! She went shoppin' yesterday and had a washin' machine delivered."

They all laughed and laughed. He went on, "Why nobody around here has plumbing!"

The third hillbilly said, "Well, I reckon my womans got to be the dumbest. Just this morning I was looking in her purse for some change and found six rubbers. Hell, she ain't got no penis!"

Roger lived by himself on a remote stretch of beach. One day as he was riding his horse along the shore he saw a beautiful woman painting a canvas. He rode up and down in front of her, but she didn't react to him.

"I'll paint my horse yellow," he decided, "and then she'll notice me. She'll say,'Oh, I see you have a yellow horse.' I'll start talking to her and then I'll invite her back to my cabin for lunch and we'll have a bottle of wine, and then I'll open another bottle and we'll talk some more, and then it'll start to get cold so I'll light a fire, and we'll be sitting close in front of it. Soon we'll gently touch, then kiss, then make beautiful love all night. Yeah, that's what I'll do."

The next day he painted his horse yellow and went in search of the woman. As he approached she looked up and said, "I see you have a yellow horse."

"Yeah," Roger said. "Wanna get laid?"

and btw-why did u so stuck with this pic?thats what id like 2 know?ill tell cooly,then he can confirm or deny 4 me...

isnt it plagiate?
well,yea,who cares if its really me?2 the guys i wanna respond will give my other url...

aaaa didnt know u MENSA people will be following me all the way here.Man,u are some stalkers!!!!!

9. warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
oooooo
and i thought he was glad 2 hear from me

erm,good man,at least once he knew her name

be easy on us master cooly

and ill give u....nothing

TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup

Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk

Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass

3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you

Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb

Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict

Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams

6. The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a *****

Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster

Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but ..." Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind

Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"

9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy

Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction


TYPES OF GIRLFRIENDS
1. Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you shouldn't have." Also Known As: What a Girl, Precious, One of the Boys, Doormat.

Advantages: Cheerful, Agreeable, Kindly.
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.

2. Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing no-talent SOB! Can't you see you're making me miserable?" Also Known As:She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady.

Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans.

3. Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps." Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy.

Advantages: Predictable.
Disadvantages: Contagious.

4. The Boss - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms. Know-it-All, Ball and Chain.

Advantages: Often right.
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

5. Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, or hair color?" Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey.

Advantages: Easily soothed.
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed.

6. Wild Woman - "I've got an idea. Let's get drunk and make love on the front lawn. I done it before. It's fun!" Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious.

Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs.

7. Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at!" Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish, Iceberg, Snarly.

Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
Disadvantages: You will have no friends.

8. Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic.

Advantages: Entertaining, Unfathomable.
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.

9. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I want to make love to you like a crazed weasel." Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, The One.

Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited.
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.

10. Lately she sits at the computer naked
9. After signing off, she always has a cigarette
8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive
7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up
6. She's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand
5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software"
4. Lipstick on the mouse
3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!"
2. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underpants
1. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy's ass

HER SIDE OF THE STORY:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but could tell there was something wrong.

The conversation was quite slow going, so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.

So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn't know what the hell that meant because, you know, he doesn't say it back or anything.

We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to break up with me! Why didn't he want to talk about this? So I tried to ask him about it, but he just switched on the TV. Why would he rather watch TV? Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep, hoping he would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk. I was so hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was in here going through emotional turmoil. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared an intimate experience like that, but he still seemed really distracted.

So afterwards I just wanted to leave because I was so upset, but I just cried myself to sleep. He didn't even notice how upset I was! I don't know, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm on emotional overload. I'm so confused. I don't think he loves me anymore. Why does he have to play mind games with me? I mean, do you think he's met someone else???

HIS SIDE OF THE STORY:

Played badly today...shot 90...can't putt worth a ****. Felt kind of tired. Got laid though.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women

10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing)

6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)

5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you)

2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you)

1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing)

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men

10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly)

6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly)

5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly)

2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly)

1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly)

yes,i am