A young lady went out on a date with a young man she foudn quite attractive, so after dinner and the movies she invited him back to her apartment. Sitting him down on the couch with a drink, she proceeded to nibble on his ear, play with his hair, and so on, but the fellow only pulled up his collar and rubbed his hand together for warmth. The young lady pulled out all the stops, sitting on his lap, even directing his hands to the appropriate portions of her anatomy. But he took no action whatsoever and violently resisted her efforts to unbutton even a single one of his outer garments.
Finally in desperation, after a particualrly passionate kiss had met with no response, she said, "you know, I have a hole down here."
"Oh," he said with evident relief, "so that's where the draft is coming from."

thanks, I'm glad you thought so, mine actually make sense...

One night the Pope is saying his bedtime prayers when God himself comes down from heaven to listen to them. Then sitting on the Pope's bed, He says, "Listen, you've been such a good Pope and devoted follower that I'm going to grant you any wish you'd like."
The Pop is overcome wiht emotion, and for a little while he can't think of antyhing to say, but then he confesses to one thing that really gets to him. "As you know, God," he says, "I'm very attached to my country of origin. And one thing that really irritates me sometimes is all those stupid Polish jokes."
"No problem," says God magnanimously. "From this moment on, there shall be no more Polish jokes." Smiling, He says, "Listen, I have to go back to Heaven, but before I take off, is there anything else I can do?"
The Pope thinks and thinks, finally coming out with it. "M&Ms,"He pronounces.
"M&Ms?" says God. "Gee, I've always thought they were harmless enough, melting in your mouth and all that...but I'll be glad to abolish them if it really means a lot to you."
"Well you see," says the Pope, "I'm not getting any younger, and it's getting harder and harder to peel them."

There was a seventy-year old mohel(that's the word for the person that performs ritual circumcions, if you didn't know) who found to his horror that his hands were beginning to shake. Needless to say, in his line of work that is a serious liability, and he dashed off to see if he could get some sort of insurance policy.
A week later the insurance agent called him up. "Listen," he says, "I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Let me have it" said the mohel.
"Well the good news is that I can get you a million-dollar policy, for one hundred dollars a year, no problem." said the agent.
Wiping his forehead in relief, the mohel asked, "So what's the bad news?"
"There's a two inch deductible."

hmmmm okie dokie, I Got a message from the jokester attempting to enlighten me but I still don't get it guess it wasn't that funny. I will post funnier ones that people actually understand, keep an eye out for them

hilarious , why the hell did the little boy die?

that was awesome.

It's ok, I don't get it either....

*choke choke* "I am batman-come Robin-to the bat cave!" *hears batman music* that wold be amazing to actually see

Hey they said this was our DUI story you must have some californians

that's cute

ouch >.< that's great.

I understand totally. If she's afraid of being single, help find a replacement, and then have that replacement tell bf off, take care of friend and kick the other guy to curb. or pull your friend from the situation when the guy asks for money have her call you, and you get in there and tell him to **** off, that he has a job and she needs her money, throw his bills in his face and tell him to pay them himself, he has the money to do so.

I hate going out lol I like to stay at home and hang out. Whenever guys ask me to go to dinner or something I always say wouldn't you rather cook something here? Let's watch a movie too while we're eating! So idk about other girls.

fake people, cheaters, and assholes.

I like the beat, but can't stand the words, he's what 16? he shouldn't be talking like that.

I like hinder! *glare no the worst song has to be the hey there Delilah, can't get any worse than that. Or maybe the Weird Al Song Virus Alert Gag me

save me

um yeah you find horny ones, most girls if they have class won't do that. And I think you DO have it reversed, every guy I've met wants sex.

ooh shower! lol