"Something I see a lot is this 'stalemate' and this 'victim' scenario, in relationships played out over and over..

He says " She did this, she didn't do that."

She says, " He did this, he didn't do that."

What I see, is often people who spend all their time being defensive, and self righteous, and rarely anyone accepting, or taking responsibility for their actions.

It appears there are vast cultures of people deciding that 'victim' is the place to be."

-------------------

To seriously address this:

Read about the Karpman Drama Triangle as a part of Transactional Analysis.

You are dead-on about the 'victim' scenario in relationships being played out over and over.

Psychologist do indeed call it a 'game' as well and it even has rules...

http://www.mental-health-today.com/articles/drama.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

Oh I agree with you lhb - we are all doing it to each other.

That one statement that I quoted of yours just rang of so much blatant truth as good advice (for anyone)... thanks for the laugh in any case. =D

"And if you are ever being seduced by a woman keep this in mind. Before you insert your penis stop for a second and ask yourself "am I ready to have my life completely and utterly destroyed by this person?" if the answer is yes continue your inserting penis. If the answer is no and you can picture that person doing evil unimaginable things to destroy your life and livelihood stop right there, put it back in your pants and leave."

...classic. =D

"...do you look this way? do you see me ?
what part of me do you see?
is it the mirror i often hold, or an image i have designed for you, like the dress i chose today....????????


what is real? can you hold it forever?

if real means fixed....predictable....reliably the same....

i am not real..."



How worse can just being yourself be - than pretending to be someone else or 'always-changing-probably'? Being yourself can't be false or changing, so you'll be ahead right there.

You have to think people won't like the *real* you if you bother to design images for people at all.

But hey, who said anyone likes the *fake* you?

A lawyer and professional politician? One would think she would be better in arguments and public oration... But it's like she lacks personal conviction or something.

I'm with Rapunzel, karacola and TansuDragon on this one.

Thanks lulu and Montel - checking some of those out.

He set out with a goal of creating a TV show and he did it using what he knows how to do. He's an icon right up there with Oprah now on daytime television. Takes a very driven person to succeed like that.

But it is still just a TV show in the end, with everything played out for an audience and ratings fist and fore-most.

As someone else said about him: "pop psychology catch-phrases and feel-good-garbage presented to appear as actual psychological counseling."

But it is entertaining. lol

The full movie that came out awhile back... one of the best movies I've seen a LONG time.

Starscream was my favorite as a kid. Him and... I can't remember the other one's name =/, but he was a radio and one of his 'cassettes' turned into a pterodactyl. How cool is that? =D

Yeah that's the thing adj4u - those sites aren't written to standard though and they are rare. HTML/CSS/etc... should be compatible across all platforms and all browsers. I haven't found a website yet though that won't work with Firefox - Opera on the other hand I've run into one or two that didn't display right. But not enough to make it worth staying with IE. Besides, Opera and Firefox run faster and do more than IE.

Just turn on automatic updates?

I can't speak on why women find it attractive in men...

But I find an artistic woman to be a big attraction. I'm attracted to the depth of thinking, creativity, emotions, and expression that most artists demonstrate that other people generally don't.

"awww...but i like that one with the smiley that goes, "OH MY GOD! NO WAY!'"

LOL some of them crack me up but they freak me out sometimes at night when I have the volume up loud and I'm listening to music.

Belushi - probably the best reason is IE has a lot of security risks and as the most popular browser, malware and adware is constantly being written to take advantage of it and will find a way onto your computer even if you take other precautions and keep Windows and IE updated.

I wouldn't think you'd even need to remove it though - I just wouldn't use it much. But that's me personally.

Of course it sucks. But that's why anyone would be happier finding someone else or at least putting all that emotion, time and energy towards finding that someone else.

Perhaps look at the type of women you are attracted to and having these relationship with? "Nice guys" tend to be attracted to emotionally needy women. Instead, try looking for women that respect themselves, are happy, have healthy life-styles, and are looking for someone to date like themselves. I'll bet you won't find yourself on as many 'friend's lists.'

Oh it's not popups that it blocks... to give you an example:

http://www.justsayhi.com/welcome/home

See the add banner on the top of the page about 'Millionaire Dating Financially stable men & women. A better class of dating. SugarDaddie.com Ads by Google Advertise on this site Meet hot singles! 30+ singles dating Find more singles More FREE dating here Intimate Dating'?

All that? It doesn't even show up on Firefox with AdBlock +. The add on automatically blocks them from loading. Same for all the web pages that have vertical side banners as well.

This website isn't so bad - but most website have a lot more banners on them and those banners are what slows down web surfing so much. Most have high-bandwidth graphics, annoying talking M&Ms, etc...

Actually, I use both ad-aware and spybot S&D and neither one does what AdBlock + does. That add-on for Firefox will automatically block out advertising banners from the websites as you load them while surfing. Which means that web pages will load in a fraction of the time they normally take.

It also has the option of being able to right click on common adds that appear on websites and add them to a blocked list. Especially useful if you have kids and want to block out the common pornographic banners that appear all over the place.

Adblock!

Bobzeaux, if someone sees you as a friend. You are exactly that: a friend.

Why would you want to 'escape' being a friend to someone? If that is the way you feel about the friendship - you aren't being honest with yourself or them.

RobT - listen to what brvereenie says and don't take some of the responses personally.

Why are you going to wait to date someone whom you don't like when it comes to their choices of dating people? You can either be a real friend to her without expectations, or find someone else that is more agreeable to you that can return your feelings and you'll be much happier.

Being a woman's friend and thinking you deserve more than friendship for it = setting yourself up for failure.

Sheesh, give the guy a break. Unrequited love sucks. Most of us have been there.

Everyone has to learn how it is at some time or another. He'll get over it - he just has to get it out. Don't beat him up over it.

=P

I'm guessing he's picking up on the hesitancy/uncertainty you have. He's already made a first move - what more can you expect a guy to do?

If you don't want to take the chance of trying to put the moves on him - just talk to him and let him know that you dig him in no uncertain terms. Be upfront, there's nothing to lose if you have already kissed before.