Sometimes afraid of the dark. I have a night light.

Have you gone to a therapist..
Or a psychologist..and was it helpful .
What should one expect when they first go..?

Need. Physical relationship very soon.How do I explain that without sounding like a. nasty woman.

10:00 in which time zone?

When we meet !! except requesting my past history

This is my story which happened just over a year ago with my Landrover Freelander. I took the car in December 2017 to a franchise and they replaced the brake discs and tightened the handbrake cable. I was happy with the work and the cost. Moving forward to March 2018, the car developed a squeal when moving off after being stationary so had my friend (who used to be a mechanic) look it over for me. He said my car needed new brake pads so I took the car back to the franchise.

The mechanic called me to say that my car needed new brake discs!! I told him that his garage just replaced them 3 months prior and I hadn't even done 1,000 miles so I told him to put the car back together as I wasn't wanting him to repair it. 15 mins later the mechanic called back and said that it needed new brake pads and that I misheard him because he didn't say brake discs. I told him I knew what he told me and he did say brake discs the first time. I then explained that I used to work in a garage and knew the difference between discs and pads and then he apologised and told me he would replace the discs for free and would only charge me for the parts.

I think garages think they can rip off females because we know nothing about cars and take their word about what needs to be done. Anyway, 2 months later I traded the Freelander in for a new car.

Your profile has nothing about you in it.
You show no teeth, so i can't tell, if you have
nice teeth, or meth mouth.

Also, before i allow myself to be associated with anyone,
publicly, or privately, i'll need to see proof, that there's no
felonious history, no mental illnesses, and no history of
illegal drug use/possession.
Plus, a copy of your MVR, covering the past 10 years, to
present day.

And, then, there's the STD testing, and testing for ANY
other transmittable disease.
I require a clean bill of health.

And, then, there's the audition.

.. for the life of me every time I've taken a vehicle in to be serviced I always leave feeling slightly screwed over.... it's always the same old story... you take your car in and you think it's a quick fix... for an example...I say to the serves guy. .my alternator is burnt out pretty sure of it..
He say yup sounds like it... leave it with us will call with a quote...it shouldn't be too expensive...2hrs later he calls and says all friendly like (hi .it turns out it was your alternator but also.....(ok.. now there it is. The also). Here it comes the bumbing up the bill part....you need this as well done to fix it.....always the same old song and dance...any one else feel like your always being racked over the coals?

Do you have a hard time arguing... your point with a loved one without really upsetting them.. . And then do you sometimes look at them and think I can't understand why I'm with you...lol.. is it common..to feel that.. or sometimes you realize you're arguing about nothing at all.. arguing about how to communicate with each other.. effectively ....is it all just one big learning process.. figuring each other out...

I think our culture has made rude or undesirable or mean be symbolic to 'abusive'. And semantically, on one level, it can be synonymous. But I believe the nearly demonic criminal implication attached to the word 'abuse', causes it to lose its meaning, for me, much like the word 'love', which is also thrown around carelessly and for ill intent, IMHO.

I believe people do love others. And I believe people do abuse with all ill intent and sometimes criminal, but not nearly, in my opinion, as often as they and others perceive them to.


It feels like, IMHO, two contrasting concepts are converging to destroy us at once. The first, victimhood, which takes away the idea that we have power and choice. The second, the idea of all these 'conditions' that pop up with psychology, which takes away the idea that we have accountability.

I dont think it will end well if we dont get back to some balance between being victims or being 'sick'.

just MHO.

Again, not a statement that I do not believe love, abuse, and sickness are real things. Just that they have become sorely overused excuses that make the real things harder to recognize.

That "victim" word sure seems to be used so freely by people who can't relate to a particular person's life expereinces..
Like someone else said/ hinted at...you don't know what goes on behind the scene or what trauma or bad things a person went through ~unless you were there~...so don't judge..

Back decades ago...people didn't think abuse was real unless it left marks/ broken bones/ ER visits..

Nowadys, (most) people are aware of the mpore insidious stuff that never shows physical marks, but often hurts worse..because it f***s up your whole psyche/ self image...

The mental, verbal, and emotional abuse..

My mom was one of those...and no one believed me until they talked to my aunt/ her sister..or heard her on the phone (I handed the phone to the guy I was with before my late husband when she was in the middle of one of her tirades once...he said "yep, she's crazy..")
And, because *I* chose not to continue to be around her abuse/ cut off talking to her....*I* was the bad person...because the face she showed everyone else was completely different than what she was at home..

Most people would think I was making stuff up...that *I* was the crazy one (which is why to this day i have a sensitivity about this)...so I learned to stop talking about it/ asking for help....
I just stayedc away from her once I was able..
(when you are a kid...there's not much you can do)

So..quit being judgey about and tossing out that "victim" card when YOU DON'T KNOW what actually went on in that person's life..

Instead, be thankful YOU didn't have to go through that/ experience it.

Could abuse be something that is subjective to each individuals boundaries and strengths and weaknesses? Kind of like the idea of 'cheating'? In an open relationship, the parties are not being cheated on as there is no deception, or at least they would not say they were cheating or being cheated on. But in a relationship where monogamy is a clearly set boundary, such an action is definitely cheating.

I feel abuse is the same. I know it has become a cultural trend for people to be victims, but does a victim need to feel victimized, or is victimhood some objective definitive term that EVERYONE gets to determine for everyone else?

My belief is that it is subjective to one's own boundaries. And if one is not feeling victimized during an incident, they probably shouldnt expect the other party to feel like or know they are victimizing them. Manipulation, on the other hand, by definition, is not something someone might recognize until after the fact. But I still feel things like cheating and abuse are totally subjective in every relationship, and I also firmly believe it should be well communicated what those boundaries and feelings are before a party should be labeled victimizer.

I have read all of what some have said the best free stuff is ...
to download ... but if I down load ... will I loose all my automatic security codes that gets me in my sites ...

Excuse me bro but who are you having trouble with i mean no disrespect but whos the mother of your child because im going thru the exact thing you are going thru ? inhooe that i apologize for anything you might get upset for but this is whats happening to me

Totage, I believe yer concern is valid.
I have experienced the type.
Make sure you have a good lawyer.
Make sure you document everything.
You can subpoena 911 call records too.
At least here in the states ya can.

The "push topic" needs to be the health and welfare of the children.
As a parent I don't need to tell you the children's welfare should be utmost important.

Make sure you have all your own ducks in order.
If there are issues with your past, address them right away.
Any ammo you give her lawyers is going to be a bullet in your soul.
Nobody is perfect.
Take a really hard look, get it all right again.
Give them no ammo to use against you.
Exploit all the ammo she gives you.

I lost everything to my X because her lawyers used all the ammo I ever left laying around and I didn't save any of her ammo.
I had trouble paying my lawyer on time, he did a haf-asd job.
Pay your lawyer.
Treat the judge and the court people with extra respect.
Keep yer wits about ya.
Good luck, Your children's lives are counting on you.

Based on what you just wrote, I don't think someone with suicidal mental instability is a wise choice for raising toddlers.
I also don't know what inspired her to threaten to you to commit suicide not once but on two different occassions. Both of which were while you were present (according to the information you have given).

I do know suicidal mental issues first hand and I never needed anyone else present to stop me.
I also know that when faced with an abuser, or someone they might think of as an abuser, sometimes people will threaten suicide to try to make the abuse stop.

What to ask yourself is; Does she exhibit suicidal tendencies to other adults when you are not present. Her mother, her sibling, a neighbor?
If it is only when you are present indicates you are the contributing factor.

I suggest you take a hard look at the situation from all perspectives and choose wisely.
If she is unstable, your children are not safe when they are alone with her.
If she is only unstable when you are near her, you are the problem.
I wish you luck in figuring out the reality.

You have a lot of very good responses to consider.
I'm curious why you are asking?

Are you trying to figure out if you were the abused, or the abuser?
Is your kid's mother trying to tell you that you abuse them so she won't let you see them or do you think she is abusing them and you are helpless to do anything about it because you don't think the kids know if they are being abused?

When I was raising my kids, if their grades were bad, they lost priveledges.
At the time, they might have thought they were being abused.
However, everytime their grades came up to average, they had their privledges restored. The lesson was learned.

There is no excuse for abusing the people you are supposed to love.
For an adult to take abuse from someone that is supposed to love them and do nothing, is insanity.