Things A True
Southerner Knows...



The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

What general direction cattywumpus is.

That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

Real gravy don't come from the store.

The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.

When "by and by" is.

How to handle their "pot likker".

The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

Never to go snipe hunting twice.

At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

GENERIC APPLICATION FOR TV TALK SHOWS



Personal Information:
Name__________ Nickname__________ CB Handle_________
Yore Mama______________ Yore Daddy (if known)__________
Spouse's Name_________________ Relationship to spouse:
___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father___Pet ___Aunt = ___Uncle

Occupation: ___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer___Skinhead

Number of Children in Household___ Number that are yours___

Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4

How Far is Your Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi. ___?

Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___

Number of Vehicles Owned___

Number on Cement Blocks___

Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice ___Rebel Flag ___Naked Woman Mudflaps___NWO and/or NRA sticker

Weapons Owned:
___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle___Beer Bottle___Shotgun

Number of Dogs Owned: ___

Number of Homemade Tattoos: ___

Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard:
___Friggerator ___Heatin Stove ___Warsher ___TV ___Freezer

How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___

Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin ___Possum Huntin___Crawdad Huntin ___Spittin ___Backy Scratchin ___ Watchin=20 Wrasslin

If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer:
___Soap Opera Digest___Rifle and Shotgun ___NWA ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer ___True Confessions

Which Stinks Worse: ___Hogpen ___Outhouse___Spouse

Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup___Nope

Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters: ___Yup ___Nope

Which is Correct?: ___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"

How Many Cartons of Cigarettes Do You Smoke a Day? ___

Math Test: How Many Food Stamps Do the Following Cost?
___Six Pack ___Ciggies ___Shotgun Shells ___Backy___Prostitute

Number of Times You've Seen: ___a UFO ___Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO

Health Questionaire: Which of the Following Do You Have?
___Head Lice ___B.O. ___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils

Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope

Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown___Black ___N/A

I hereby swear this is the trooth and sign my "X" on __________________, 2006

I've been using Vista since I bought my new computer in June and I think its great! I have never had any problems with it, although it did take a week or so to get used to it. Like someone said before...Vista kicks azz!

I know it doesn't happen for everyone, but it did for my best friend...he met his partner on line 3 yrs ago and knew immediately that he was in love. three yrs later(living together the last 2) they are still together and I can only hope to someday find the love and happiness they share!

three things I believe......

Time does make things better.......

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal......

Love leaves a memory no one can steal.......

thank you...I'm so happy about this poem...its being published in a book of poetry soon.

Quick Mexican Stew

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into 1-inch cubes
1 green bell pepper chopped
1 red bell pepper chopped
2 cloves garlic minced (jar garlic is fine)
2 Tbl olive oil
2 cans (approx 15oz each) stewed or diced tomatoes
1-15 oz can of pinto beans in sauce
1 cup salsa (you choose how hot)
1 tsp chili powder. I use smoked chili powder

Garnishes (optional)
Avocado diced
Green onions chopped
Sour cream
Cheddar cheese grated


In a large sauté pan, or soup pot, saute the chicken, peppers and the garlic in the olive oil until the chicken is done. Do this on medium high and keep cooking until the chicken has no more pink remaining in the middle. Stir often. I always just take out one of the bigger chunks and cut it open to check.

Then add the other ingredients up through the chili powder and bring to a simmer. Simmer on medium for about 30 minutes or until it's as thick as you'd like it.

Serve in soup bowls. I garnish mine by putting on a layer of grated cheddar, a scattering of diced avocado, a few chopped green onion pieces and a dollop of sour cream right in the middle.

I Am So Blessed
To Greg and Steve, my best friends.....I Love You!

My life a mess, didn't know what to do
Needed to talk to someone, but didn't know who.
Then..by chance or was it by fate, maybe?
You came along, our friendship was meant to be!

One so open and trusting the other so shy.
A perfect combination, but only God knows why.
I am enlightened and life is much better now.
My life without you, I wouldn't know how.

Sadness, tears,joy and laughter we share it all.
Anytime I need you..it only takes one call.
I love you and I trust you,I know that you care.
I know when I need you, you'll always be there!

I AM SO BLESSED!


Copyright ©2007 Kay Spivey

thank you

My Virtual Lover
To my sweet Adrakelen...je t' aime...Your cutest of all!!!!!!

In the darkness of night, your the fire
that fuels my passion...
Your the heat of my lustfull desires.
You come to me in my dreams, you know the
ones...
I look upon your face, my soul is weakened
by those eyes that haunt me so....
As we come together, our bodies entwine...
Our hearts beat as one, I know your love is
mine.
My virtual lover, a love so new....
There is no other I could love so true!


Copyright ©2007 Kay Spivey

wait let me feel........yup, I feel great!

THIS YEARS TOP COUNTRY SONGS ...


17. I Hate Every Bone in her Body but Mine

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now

6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Ae So Ugly

3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number #1 country song is. . . .

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few!

thats just wrong on so many levels!

multi tasking is a goooooooood thing!!

i have 10 yen i'll donate

just playing u till he reels u back in...DON'T LET HIM!

ya gotta have honesty,trust and respect from both side of a relationship or it most likely will fail.

Good luck!

ya know I have been through a lot of what you wrote about and I understand how you feel. after so many failed relationships over the last 4 yrs...I met a very good friend, my best friend in fact, and with his positive outlook on life, he has taught me a lot about not "needing" to be with anyone. things I've learned from him.........Set your standards high. You deserve the best. Try for what you want. And never settle for less. Believe in God. No matter what you choose. Keep a winning attitude. And you can never lose. Think about your destination. But don't worry if you stray. Because the most important thing Is that you've learned along the way. Take all you've become. To be all that you can be. Soar above the clouds. And let your dreams set you free.......just thought I'd share

Hey! I want three not two! I'm sure i coulod find something for the third one to do for me

from the mouths of babes!!